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3rd Trimester
People in the delivery room - so complicated!
I wanted my mom there since I'm an only child and this is her first grandchild and we're really close but she keeps telling me I'll be "fine with just my husband there".
Then my dad, who wasn't even there when I was born, keeps nagging me that he wants to be there for the birth and he causes me tons of stress, doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut, and thinks it's dumb I'm having a kid. His actual last gem of a sentence was "Of course you are looking for attention, you don't get pregnant if you don't want attention!"
So, do I beg my mom to be in the room because in the end I think she'll be grateful to be there or just have my DH only and tell my dad that he can see the baby right after?
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Re: People in the delivery room - so complicated!
if it were me i wouldn't feel comfortable with my dad there... my dad and i are close but not as close as my mom and i plus thats just something i don't want to share with him....
i would explain to your mom why and ask her to change her mind
M/C found 2/27/13-- D & C 3/6/13
Um based on what your dad said...I would NOT let him in the room! I'd tell him he could see the baby after! Definitely do not feel bad for having your mom in there and not him!
Although I'm emotional about it bc your dad sounds a lot like mine! My dad was not there for my birth either! Hellllss to the NO would he be in the delievery room for my babies birth!
Does your dad want to be in the waiting room or in the room when you give birth?
You will only have this first moment once so I say have in the room who you want. Have people who do NOT stress you out. Do not pressure anyone to be in the room that may not want to be there because they may end up causing stress.
I had my husband and my mom. Before we went in (I was induced so I knew the day) I talked to my husband and my mom about how they could best support me. I let them know what I knew I did not want them to do and also that when I am in there I may change my mind (because I am pregnant and can do that) so please go with the flow.
Everything was GREAT!?
ABSOLUTE NO to dad!!
Don't beg your mom if she doesn't want to. Some people aren't comfortable with it. And it's a wonderful thing to share with just your husband
I agree. I think it's weird when people have their dad in there anyway, I mean everyone is different, but I don't need my dad staring at my lady bits, that just freaks me out a bit. To each his own.
*PGAL/PAL Welcome*
My Ovulation Chart
I think you should have whoever YOU want in the room. Do you want your mother in the room, or are you only asking her because you think she would like it? If you don't want your Dad in there, he doesn't get to go in. Plus depending on your hospital policy you may not be allowed to have that many people in the room for the actual delivery.
Maybe your parents could visit with you while you are laboring, and then go wait in the waiting room when you are actually pushing?
Bottom line - do what makes YOU comfortable. Your needs come first in this since you are the one pushing out a baby.
If you'd like your Mom there but she doesn't want to be there then I wouldn't force it... just offer it up for her to decide. If you don't want your Dad there, then he shouldn't be there - end of story. From what you said about your relationship with him, I'm confused as to why he'd want to be in the room anyway.
There is no way in hell Id let me dad in the room! He was just outside the door when my sister gave birth 3 months ago and that in itself creeped me out. (he could only hear everything)
My mom will be with me because she really wants to be there. I was unsure at first, but she will be really helpful and I know she wont stress me out.
Sarah, 35 bumping from NE Ohio
Married my love 4/22/2006
DD born 10/12/2009
DS born sleeping 2/23/2013 full trisomy 18
Baby 3 due 2/13/2015
Don't force your mom and don't allow your dad. You'll be happier in the long run.
I wanted my mom there for DD1's birth (her first grandchild) and she didn't bother showing up to the hospital until around 5pm that night (I had called her around 7am to let her know that I was in labor and my water had broken then DH called her when DD was born at 11:43am.) With DD2 my mom insited in "being there" but spent the majority of time wandering around the hospital with DD1 and really showed no interest until after baby was born. This time I'm sticking with just DH and I in the delivery room- there will be plenty of staff around- it is a teaching hospital and for some reason I get more "veiwers" because I go med free!