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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
patrickandkim
member
pressured into BF'ing?
patrickandkim
member
Just wondered if any of you ladies would admit to feeling a little "pressured" into BF'ing? I know DH is extremely pro-bf'ing and his comments, at times, would make me feel guilty if I did other wise. I FF daughter #1, but than again DH was not around at that time. Just wondered if anybody would admit to something similar?
DD #1 Amber Lynn 12/2000, DD #2 Leia Elizabeth 6/2009, DD#3 Aayla Ruth 08/2012.
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Re: pressured into BF'ing?
I feel pressured by every Dr. and Nurse and other mom I talk with! I have started weaning DS and giving him some formula and I feel like everyone is so?disappointed?in me! I wanted to give up a long time ago because of low supply issues but the Dr and nurses made me feel so guilty about it.?
?I know that it is the best thing for the baby but I truly believe that if I am crying in pain/frustration every night that it is not good for the baby. Happy mom=happy baby.??
I guess you could say there is pressure to Breast Feed. You are constantly told how it is the prefect food for your baby. My DH is very supportive of me breast feeding and I could see without a good support system it would make the whole thing a lot more difficult; however, if it's not the right thing for you then you shouldn't let anyone pressure you into doing it. Having a new baby at home is already difficult enough without feeling guilty about FFing.
You could give it a good shot and if it doesn't work out you would know in your heart you did try.
There was definitely a bit of outside pressure to me BF'ing. I essentially had told myself that I would give it a go, but if it wasn't working for me and DS than I'd be open to FF and would not look back. Instead, from day one in the hospital I found the nurses pretty much put him to my breast without so much as really discussing pros/cons and whether it may work (I did say to them I'd give it a go, but was surprised FF was not even really discussed before they had my DS on my boob).
Turns out LO has a really strong latch and likes to chomp and chew while feeding. Ouch!! So, they sent the team of Lactation Consultants my way. All tried to give me every possible solution to make BF'ing work for me. They are well intentioned, but after spending 2 nights in spontaneous tears trying to manage the pain of the "good latch", I was ready to give in. Then they suggested pumping and bottle feeding until my nipples developed callouses...before I knew it a pump was delivered to my hospital room. It goes on and on...
So, long story short, I've been pumping most of the time and feeding directly at the breast once or twice a day. Still lots of pain, but I feel like I'm being made out to be a failure if I give up now.
Oh, and I have another appt with a lactation consutaltant on Friday...oh joy. The pressure is starting to get to me. I hate being tied to a pump every few hours and I just want to enjoy my child.
I'm also glad there is some "pressure." BFing is a big commitment and very hard for most women but it is the best for the baby. However, I don't think anyone should make a woman feel guilty once she has made the decision to FF.
Tons. Im actually seeing a therapist because of it. Seiously! Well not because of outside presures but because of my own feelings of failure. We had latching trouble from the start, then the supply issues began. My LC might as well have moved in with me and we still got no where. Every Dr, nurse, friend, family member, neighbor, stranger would ask if I was BFing, telling me the benefits and I wanted to scream "I'm doing everythng I F-ING can, I feel like I failure, how much worse do you want me to feel?!?!" Breastfeeding has been the most emotional part of this entire pregnancy journey.
The only encouraging people were my DH and LC. Im now pumping a measly 1/2 oz a day but i'll keep it up until I get nothing.
These are the statements that kill me. Though I know you mean no harm, it makes me feel as though I am doing something bad to my baby. It's rough.
i was pressured by my OB and DH. They staged an intervention at one of my apts. to tell me the benefits of BFing (like i didn't know). I had already decided I was not going to BF and having this little meeting was extra annoying.
Then, when I was in labor I had an annoying L&D nurse giving me BFing hand-outs trying to guilt me into it.
End of the story, I never BFed
~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
My IF blog
This was how I felt too - except it was other moms and family members. My doctors didn't care. But when I couldn't hold my son close because it hurt so bad ... and then I was so frustrated I just thought "happy mom=happy baby" And quit. And I believe it was best for everyone.
This.
?However, after getting Luke fully on to the EBF train after working with the BF clinic I have to say the following:
A) I love it. I feel closer to him for it.
C) Getting up for the feeds in the night is way easier when BFing than bottles. DH getting to sleep through it makes him saner too which makes us both happier.
D) Luke seems happier and more content too. He prefers BM to Formula and that was obvious from the get go but he seems calmer and is growing like a weed which makes me feel like everything is working as it should.
E) I've nursed him in a restaurant, in the market, in the airport, in a meeting tonight and one last night... sooooooooo much easier. Portable.
F) Clients who I saw a week ago said I've lost weight since then. They are my new favourite clients too.?
I have to admit that I'm glad there is some pressure. BFing is hard work! And it's PAINFUL at first. There are nights that DH couldn't stand listening to me whimper in the dark and he would beg me to just give in and give DS a bottle. If I hadn't been so stubborn and determined I might have caved around week one.
Everyone in my family is pro-BFing and my only IRL mommy friend is very pro-BF, too. We made sure that we read everything and were are prepared as possible to make it work. Thankfully I've finally gotten to the point that I can enjoy the experience.
There is a ton of pressure and it pisses me off.
I am not BFing, because I don't want to.
I am lucky, DH is supportive of me, and most of the older women (Mom, MIL, etc) are, as well. The pressure I got was from peers, magazines, talk shows, blogs, and on here.
When I was making the decision to not BF I had a couple long, tearful, talks with a close friend who also chose not to BF. I didn't want to, I knew that, but I felt like I should because it was best for the kid. But, if I wasn't going to be happy, or even somewhat satisfied, was it really best for my child? No.
I know BF'ing was/is not for me. I would've gotten pissed that DH couldn't take the feedings, felt tied down by Beckett and being the only food source. I would've been resentful, and that is not healthy.
I hear (read) time and time again about women who quit bf'ing for one reason or another, and feel so guilty about it. The fact that there is that much pressure, enough to keep a lot of women trying long after it is healthy for their mental well-being, infuriates me. Formula is not poison.
I know i'm only two weeks in, but I am extremely happy with my decision to NOT BF, and I will offer my support to anyone who decides to FF. Or BF without judging others. It's your choice, as a mom, and no one elses.
yea, because apparently formula is the devil