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Managing the rebellious new sibling

FuturemrssollFuturemrssoll member
in Pennsylvania Babies
Things are going pretty well so far, minus some issues that I am having.  Eli is doing pretty well adjusting to his new sister, however, we have noticed this new side of him.  He is becoming quite the rebellious little man, forgetting to say please and thank you, having a bit more trantrums, getting into things he never got into before.  I know this is his way of handling the new addition, but are there ways to help him, or overcome this?  I don't want to be yelling at him all the time, but it seems lately that is all I do.  Hes my little man, and a total mommas boy, so I am trying to spend alone time with him, but yeah, seems he needs more.  I would appreciate the advice!
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Re: Managing the rebellious new sibling

  • LClaireLClaire

    Patience, patience and another HUGE dose of patience and kindness with him. And a ton of extra hugs. It's HARD. But his whole world has been turned upside down and now you're giving all of his attention to the new baby and I found that most of the acting out were way of her trying to get our attention. My mom explained it to me like this and made me laugh(but it made so much sense!): Imagine if one day your husband just walks in the door with a new wife. And you have no choice, the new wife is staying. Oh, and by the way, the new wife if going to always get your husband's attention first, he's going to walk around holding her hand all the time and she's always going to get to eat before you.

    I know that's obviously extreme, but it's essentially what happens and they have no choice PLUS no way to express the million different emotions that they must be feeling and not understandinf. Extra hugs and rubs while you're holding or feeding her, asking him to help as much as possible to get him involved, trying not to phrase things with her name in it(i.e. "I can help you in just one minute" rather than "I can help you when Hannah finishes eating"). And tons of patience with him and reminders of things he knows are/are not acceptable behaviors and keeping in the back of your mind that anytime you can talk to him and try to help him to calm down or sort of understand how he's feeling and reassuring him that you know it's hard will go a long way! We still struggle with it a ton, but I just realized a week or two ago that I feel like we've finally transitioned from her referring to "the baby" to her brother and trying to play with him and see him as a normal part of the scenery rather than an intruder. {{Big hugs!}}  

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