Are you confident in your decisions?

JOEBunny · September 2009

I am pretty comfortable with most areas of parenting, but when it comes to preschool, I am having a hard time sticking to one plan.

I have done a lot of research and know with the kind of exposure my DD has to activities and other children that she really doesn't need preschool. I think the things we do everyday are more enriching than preschool would be. She goes to MMO two mornings a week that has a 4 to 1 teacher ratio. They play some games, sing songs. learn to walk in a line, and have a lot of free play.

Next year, at 4, she will probably go 4 days because there are no programs for 4 year olds with less time than that, but I really wish there were. 3 days would be optimal.

My problem comes when I hear other parents talking about all the things their kids are "learning" and all the extra classes they take, how great their school is because their child is learning so much. (They are 3). How they need and thrive on the structure, ect.

I am finding it frustrating to doubt my decision not to enroll her. I know that a lot of people think that more school is better, but I have done a lot of research on this and don't think it is the right thing for my DD at this age, given the other opportunities we can provide for her.

How do you over come your doubt about this or other things related to parenting when everyone else seems to be going in a different direction?

goodheartedmommy · September 2009

I think education in general can be a touchy subject. Everyone has their opinions (and like in any other area), they think theirs is the only way. All of my friends have enrolled their 3 year olds in preschool this year. We will be homeschooling, and I can feel the judgment from a lot of them. I do feel it's best and I'm not doubting my decisions, though. It can be hard when it seems that people think their choices are better than yours and that their kids are better off. It's just part of parenting, though.

emilykristene2006 · September 2009

I wish I could help. I stress and worry about my decisions too much. Some things I say I am confident about, but then I get defensive if someone tries to question me or suggest something else.

I chose to put DD in "preschool" because I just could not keep up with her anymore. After DS came it was difficult for me to do different classes for her to get the interaction. She goes 3 mornings a week for 3 hours at a time.

krub · September 2009

That MMO sounds a lot like preschool to me, especially for a 3 y/o. IMO, learning to read and learing math aren't that important at 4 y/o. All kids will come into kindie at different levels and all will leave at just about the same level, being able to read some amount and do some amount of math. I think far too much emphasis is put on the wrong kind of learning at that age and that the socialization is much more important and it sounds like she will get that. And, I think that any parent that feels the need to espouse the benefits of their child's academic pursuits at 4 y/o is the one that is insecure about their decisions.

FWIW, my DS is in a Montessori program and is exposed to all of that stuff. I think it's great and all, but I could give a rats asss about his academics right now. He's there b/c it's a loving environment for him and it's much more important to me that he learn to become independent and get along with others vs. that he learn how to read. They're all going to have their strengths and weaknesses, especially at 3 and 4 y/o. And, I think it has very little to do with their schooling.

veloelle · September 2009

I have zero issue w/ my decision to not enroll DD in preschool yet. She's 3. She won't go to preschool until next year when she's 4.She's in DC 2x a week and she does one extracurricular thing at a time. For awhile she was in gymnastics, now she's going to be in a mandarin language class.

I think the term "school" and "pre school" get so used and abused by parents. I think 98% of the time when a parent refers to their 18 month old (you know what I mean..) in pre school, it's daycare. But saying pre-school sounds so much better.

pincushions · September 2009

veloelle:

I have zero issue w/ my decision to not enroll DD in preschool yet. She's 3. She won't go to preschool until next year when she's 4.She's in DC 2x a week and she does one extracurricular thing at a time. For awhile she was in gymnastics, now she's going to be in a mandarin language class.

I think the term "school" and "pre school" get so used and abused by parents. I think 98% of the time when a parent refers to their 18 month old (you know what I mean..) in pre school, it's daycare. But saying pre-school sounds so much better.

I am with this 100%!

I think it is hard when everyone around you is doing something different. Honestly you know what is best for your child.

hopefulmom · September 2009

My kids all went to preschool from the time they were 2 1/2 because I do not have the patience to "teach" them or "work" with them like the teachers at preschool do. Plus, they are trained and educated to work with little kids...I am not. I get frustrated easily. I have visions of doing a lot of different things with the kids (going to the library, museums, etc) but then something comes up and we don't go. I feel they would be missing opportunities to do those things if they were not in preschool. I don't know a foreign language so they get exposure to that as well. I also think it is important for children to learn in a group setting because when they get into regular school they will be taught this way. Even kids that are home schooled will go to college someday. The private school my older kids went to had several kids come in as homeschoolers around grade 11. They had a hard time "dealing" with the demands of the teachers...maybe because they were used to mom or dad being the teacher and it being a bit more relaxed at home. My DS graduated with one boy. He is the only one in the class not on the honor roll. He just didn't have the drive to learn...but it could have been his personality. When kids get into the work force they will have demands on them as well.

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