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How do you (and DH) handle this safety issue?
My rule with Mady has always been that when we are in a parking lot and in the street, she MUST hold my hand. At her age (or any age) I don't want to risk her running off and a car coming around the corner. I am firm on this.
DH's "rule" is that as long as he is "keeping an eye on her" and there are no cars around, then she is okay. While this is fine for when she is older and more aware, I think it's not enough now. And I really think that we need to be consistent with her in this and all major issues. If not, it will be harder for me to get her to cooperate since DH's rules are more lax in general.
WDYT? How do you and DH handle this? I've tried explaining my thinking to him and he seems to take that as that I don't trust that he's watching her closely enough. That's definitely not it, I just want to be consistent and I figure it's best to go with the more strict rule with safety issues like this.
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Re: How do you (and DH) handle this safety issue?
DS has to hold our hands in the parking lot or streets- if he doesn't want to hold my hand i'll carry him, but those are his only options. DH backs me up.
it's way too easy for you to blink and baby to dart, no matter how closely you're watching.
I agree with you. Consistency is REALLY important with discipline.
And take it from an ex-high school teacher: that never changes, but gets more and more important.
This is our parking lot and crossing the street rule. I agree that you need to have consistency with rules regardless of which parent is around. Mom needs to back up dad and dad needs to back up mom. And in this instance you win!
I would explain it to my husband that it's not that I don't trust him to keep an eye on our DD, but that I will not trust that another driver will be able to see her tiny self darting out in front their vehicle. I agree that consistency is a good thing and will help you later if she tries to get cranky and/or rebellious. I kind of think in this situation, the more restrictive safety issue should win.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. I did just talk to DH more and I think he gets it more now. Who knows if he'll actually back me up, but hopefully he will. At least I feel like I got to explain myself better.
He says that I "freaked out" and "ran after her", which is bs. He was busy getting something out of the car so I was trying to get her attention by saying "stop Mady" in a forceful voice (not yelling though) and making my way over to her (with two arms full of groceries). Silly men overexaggerating all the time!
Hold the kid's hand.
Oh, and don't do what my dad does (yes, present tense): Dad yells "PARKING LOT!!!" at me & my mom whenever we step into....a parking lot. Thanks, Captain Obvious. This factors into why I live 2500 miles away.
LOL! Once the baby, always the baby huh?
Hands held. Period.
In fact, Xavian and Korra are still required to hold each other's hands and walk next to me.
Here's something you should share w/ your DH:
DH responded to a call at Wal-Mart Saturday night. The dad put his (around) 1 yr old down so that he could pull a cart out of the cart coral INSIDE the store. The boy darted out 2 sets of doors and into the parking lot and was struck by a car. That's how fast things can happen.
(the child has a broken leg & that's it)
I definitely think hand holding is a must! People drive like idiots in parking spots because most people are only looking for a free spot, not a tiny child running from behind a parked car.
DH and I, I think, are agreed on this though we've never talked about it. When we babysat my nephews, we each took a kid by the hand while we walked anywhere or we carried them. They didn't have a choice of walking by themselves. Also, when we watched a friend's little girl, she held my hand on one side and he walked on the other and told her she had to keep holding my hand until we got inside.
OMG, how horrible! This is my fear. Thankfully DD isn't that impulsive and can't run yet, but things can change so fast that I don't want to take the chance.
Thank goodness he only has a broken leg!
DD has to hold our hands in parking lots and streets. She can let go on the sidewalk. She is just now getting it. If she won't hold hands, we carry her. That is it. She doesn't watch anything but her feet and the ground so if she is not holding hands she can end up anywhere so quick!
It is super important that you and DH are consistent with your DD on all issues like this, otherwise she will get confused and won't know what the rules are.
Yep....I'm 28 and Mom is in her 60s...who knows, maybe we'll start "horsing around" and get ourselves hit by a car.
Agreed, and this includes walking on sidewalks. He's way too young to understand the danger, and doesn't always stop when I ask him to. If he pulls his hand away while walking, we stop until he's ready to hold my hand again, or he gets carried. He's yet to run into the street, tho- how scary!
Hands held.
If we are loading/unloading the car or something and he'll obey, I'll let him stand with his hands on the car. (Once he's old enough, that is. At this point, he's either carried or sitting in the shopping cart.)
And yes, I would want DH to be consistent with me. Consistency is really important.