Pregnant after 35
J'sLisa
member
Options
Not what I expected.
J'sLisa
member
I think telling my mom about my + test so soon was a mistake. The first words out of her mouth were, "Oh, were you trying?" The answer is "yes" but I expected something more along the lines of "congratulations" or "how wonderful". The next thing she asked was, "will you take a year off of work?" I'm a teacher. I would have thought her second question was "Do you feel ok? or When do you go to the doctor?" We chatted about other things and before hanging up, she said, "well, I guess I should say congratulations." I'm not sure if it's because of this hormone festival, but I feel disappointed. She was so outwardly happy when my B and SIL announced their pregnancies. I'll see her today at my nephew's 1st Bday party.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Not what I expected.
When we told my parents that I was pregnant (as soon as we found out) and they were thrilled. They both cried, my mom gave me something she had been saving for her future grandchild. It was wonderful. Then I lost the baby
The next time we were pregnant (this time) we told them the news. It was NOT the same feeling at all. Of course we were all nervous that the pregnancy would make it, but the enthusiasm about having a grandchild was completely gone. They hugged us and said they were happy for us, but my mom said maybe we should have waited before telling them.
I'm just trying to say that I know how you feel. Try to give your mom some time to let it sink in and don't let it bring YOUR excitement level down in the least. I never told my mom and dad that they rained on my parade. It's a distant memory now that they are so excited. I bet your mom will get there as soon as she starts thinking about a new baby and you as a mother
Good luck to you. And congratulations!!!
That is hurtful and I am sorry that she did not share in your happiness. We experienced the same with my IL's. They have been sort of blah throughout the whole pregnancy. After several weeks of stewing over it and feeling hurt, I decided to embrace the people in our world who are genuinely happy for us and not dwell on those who don't share in our joy.
Good luck to you and congrats on your pregnancy!
After all the the things DH and I have been through to get PG, all the expierances, and all the disappointments we have learned that the only thing that matters is that you and DH are happy. I know that sounds awful but the comments and reactions people make/give are not worth the pain. It's better to just think about what makes you and DH happy and forget everyone else.
Sending hugs your way becasue that was pretty sh%%ty. Sorry you have to feel this.
Kristina
Nicer than my mom's response. She knew we were trying and, when I announced our BFP she asked, "did you miss you period?"
Huh?
My Blog
I am sure it will improve. My mom's reaction was pretty similar. Her first response was "Are you happy about this?" uhmmmmmm YES! She then said "Well I suppose it is ok then" and changed the subject. (I was pretty upset by her reaction so can understand how you feel). This her first grandchild so I thought she might be a bit happier.
She has warmed up to the idea a bit better but is still not exactly excited. But I figured maybe she just shows it differently. A little while back my Doc gave me tablets for nausea and I told her about it, then two days later I stopped taking them as they made me feel worse. Her reaction to my stopping was "Oh thank god, I did not want to say anything but I was really worried about you taking anything and it affecting the baby". So she must be a bit excited.
Good luck with you mom, I am sure she probably just needs time for the idea to sink in
When I told my parents about my 1st, my mom was more displeased knowing that DH had told his 3 days earlier (I got to tell mine in person, and his live 5 states away).
This time, it was a very neutral reaction, and when I called to tell her the u/s results (it was 1 not 2 babies), she said it was nice then proceeded to tell me about the painter hired to work on the new house. Great.
I remind myself that no one will be as happy as DH and I are, and my mother is not the one to use as a measure for others. In fact, 2 weeks after we spent a week at the beach with them, my mother called to ask how my u/s went. Obviously, my brother mentioned to her she had been a twit.