? for Team Greeners by choice

rlkjos1005 · August 2009

My DH and I have decided to stay team green - We like the thought of finding out at delivery, plus our first loss at 17 weeks after just finding out it was to be a girl was very very tough.

Here's my dilema - My mother! She doesn't understand why we aren't finding out because it would be so hard for people to shop for us. I told her that we were going to register for items and most people buy off the registary. I just don't understand why she can't except my reasons and move on! This is a conversation we have everytime I call about baby updates! UGH~

So my question is - what do you tell people who question you about the sex and did anyone have a similar issue.

getnmarried910 · August 2009

People have come to expect this from us. We knew but didn't share with our first two and DH's family hated that, mostly his mom. This time we chose not to find out, and I think they still don't like it, but there isn't anything they can do about it when we don't even know. Anytime someone asks us about it, we just tell them we really want that time in the delivery room where DH tells me the sex after I've delivered. We want to experience that side of it this time rather than knowing. I think because we go against the norm in his family, no one really questions us anymore, they just expect us to do something no one else in the family would do!

Really, people won't have any trouble buying gifts for you. You just may get more things that you need rather than an over-abundance of blue or pink blankets!

Tinkx123x · August 2009

people question you no matter what. When I tell people i'm having a boy they go, why didn't you want a surprise? it is VERY annoying. Just say we want to be surprised and thats it.

ickasticka · August 2009

Our families are pretty excited that we're not finding out until delivery day. Some of our friends don't get it, but they don't need to. It's our baby and our decision. We are on team green for a bunch of reasons. If you've explained your reasons to your mom then that should be sufficient and you need to ask her to simply respect your wishes.

ahappygilmore · August 2009

"We want it to be a suprise" That is usually sufficient, but I havent had anyone make a big deal out of it yet.

Also.....I kinda like the idea of not getting all clothes at my shower. Wink

Asquared · August 2009

I've told my mom that she didn't get to know when she had us, so she'll just have to deal.

I've told others that my DH is so terrible at trying to surprise me, that it's probably the last true surprise we'll get. We got all stuff gender neutral with DD, so we didn't have to worry with no. 2.

30&TTC#1 · August 2009

Sorry your mom is being goofy. It's a little challenging shopping for clothes, but I've been able to find enough to get us started. There's sooo much to buy for a baby and you should tell your mom that my mom has bought me two bag fulls of baby stuff so far and a lot of that was clothes! If my mom can do it, so can yours. Does your mom know about your loss? Either way, she should be respectful of your decision and you should make that clear to her that she needs to respect your decision. Some people have thought it's goofy that I haven't found out, but most people have high respect for me for waiting. I usually tell people that there aren't very many good surprises in life, that this is one of the few and so I want to make it last as long as possible! Most people have been supportive of me fortunately. I hope your mom learns to respect your decision soon, GL!

JaredandKatie · August 2009

That's too bad that it bothers your mother that much. Here's the thing about registering for baby stuff...If you're planning on having more than one, it's a really smart idea to buy gender neutral anyway!! Can you imagine having a girl and registering for a pink car seat/diaper bag/pack n play/bedding/etc...and then the next time you have a baby it's a boy?! It's a really good idea to go gender neutral on EVERYTHING except for clothes. Now, here's the thing about clothes...when people find out what you're having, they enjoy bringing clothes to the hospital and when they see the baby for the first time. My good friend didn't find out what she was having and she's just NOW having to buy him clothes and he's 8 months old!!

Just my thoughts...

Yay for team green!!!

vernab · August 2009

My MIL gave us a hard time about finding out the sex. My husband told her that she already had her kids and she could do what she wanted then and this is our child and we'll do what we want. ; p GL

kristinem17 · August 2009

We haven't gone public yet, so it hasn't become a big question yet... because my DH works abroad, we told our neighbors - they are our close friends as well and we do a lot together - so a few weeks back when we were having lunch she couldn't believe it when I told her we don't plan to find out.. she was like "No!!!!! -you have to find out! I want to start buying cute things for you guys! How about if you find out, but don't tell S.... it will be our secret " I was like no way Jose! That would never work! I figure the only real reason people want to know what you are having is to buy you clothing...... it's more difficult to buy clothing that is neutral. That's fine by me - hopefully our registry will guide them. I am not sure how my mom will react when I tell her we are Team Green.... this will be her first grandchild, so he may like the idea of a surprise!

djm05 · August 2009

Everyone we talk to is the complete opposite and super excited for us that we're waiting to find out until the baby's born. I was the one that was thinking maybe we should find out, but everyone talked me out of it!

Sorry your mom is giving you such a hard time! Just tell her that there are very few true surprises in life, and finding out the sex of your baby in the delivery room is one of them! Not to mention the doctor/tech can get it wrong from time to time! Gender neutral clothes are a bit harder to find, but I think the surprise in the delivery room will be so worth the extra effort! Plus there are things to buy other than clothes!! Good for you for waiting!

duchessII81 · August 2009

My dad was a complete two-yr old about us being on Team Green. I was being polite at first but then I got tired of it. I just told him I wasn't having this conversation again because our choices weren't up for his debate. He got my tone - it was conversation over.

The "how will they know what to buy" argument is lame. And you know it's lame when my dad throws it around... like he cares what someone buys Confused It was simply his PA attempt to try to change our mind about finding out gender. No one *has* to buy the baby a gift and surely there will be plenty of things for them to choose from on the registry should they want to.

SpartanGirl · August 2009

We had some naysayers (okay, only 2) when we chose not to find out. One person even went so far as to ask if it was okay if the tech wrote down the sex for HER to know. She promised not to tell us. Yeah. That's when I said that unless you were in the room when the baby was conceived, you have no input as to the decisions we make regarding baby. That shut her up pretty quickly.

dionnemd10 · August 2009

we just tell people we want to be very surprised when the time comes. i get the questioning more from friends than from family. there are plenty of adorable things out there that work for both a boy and a girl. you could also tell her this will allow her to save more money for when she really gets to shop this spring!!

duchessII81 · August 2009

SpartanGirl:
We had some naysayers (okay, only 2) when we chose not to find out. One person even went so far as to ask if it was okay if the tech wrote down the sex for HER to know. She promised not to tell us. Yeah. That's when I said that unless you were in the room when the baby was conceived, you have no input as to the decisions we make regarding baby. That shut her up pretty quickly.

Ballsy.

mrshutch · August 2009

lol, DH is the one who doesn't get it, but at least he's going along with it

My family actually thinks it's sweet we're not finding out. I think you'll probably get a ton of great stuff b/c people will really just want to go off your registry. There are also lots of great gender neutral things out there as well. If anyone asks why I want a surprise, I just tell them b/c this is something I won't get to do very often and there are few huge surprises in life! I think everyone gets that, though.

veronica.tanner · August 2009

I enjoy making people feel guilty for asking. I usually say something like "We are just so blessed to be having a baby that it doesn't really matter what it is as long as it's healthy."

Then that's it. Rarely will they ask anything further.

SpartanGirl · August 2009

duchessII81:
SpartanGirl:
We had some naysayers (okay, only 2) when we chose not to find out. One person even went so far as to ask if it was okay if the tech wrote down the sex for HER to know. She promised not to tell us. Yeah. That's when I said that unless you were in the room when the baby was conceived, you have no input as to the decisions we make regarding baby. That shut her up pretty quickly.
Ballsy.

Yeah, but it was my MIL so I expected no less from her.

rlkjos1005 · August 2009

lol - I'm sure if my mom lived near by she would say the same thing. She gave me a hard time last time too - and she does understand about the loss - I just hate going around in circles with her over my choice. I did tell her if she was having such a problem with it, then she didn't have to buy me anything. Besides I have tons of starter clothes from my sister - so I really am not worried about the initial first few weeks - we can buy from there!

Thanks for everyone's responses. I just had to vent!

jarbatz · August 2009

I am still in 1st Tri but occasionally lurk over here so I hope you don't mind me chimeing in here. I have always known that we would be team green and when people ask me why I tell them I don't open my xmas presents in October for a reason! Its about going through all this stuff and having this wonderful little surprise to look forward to at the end. Most of my friends don't understand either.

And when people use the argument that it makes it difficult to shop...I say "its amazing that before ultrasounds, there weren't little naked babies roaming the world!" Yes, it is not as fun to buy gender neutral stuff but that doesn't mean you can't buy the cute clothes after the baby is born! Your little girl is not going be running around in all yellow clothes...people LIVE to buy baby girl clothes.

GL and stay strong!

kimberleigh30 · August 2009

I don't undertand why people get so mad if you don't find out the sex of the baby ?I'm glad we didn't. ?And even if we did we would still register for all gender neutral stuff because we will have at least 2 kids.

The perks of not fining out ?is at your shower, you will get stuff you actually registered for rather than a pink or blue outfit.?

Want a personalized experience?

? for Team Greeners by choice

Re: ? for Team Greeners by choice

Choose Another Board

Search Boards