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Not excited?

chotichanachotichana
in 1st Trimester

This is my first post, and I guess I just want to know if anyone else has had a similar experience. Since I had a history of irregular periods, and no periods at all for a time about a year ago, DH thought we should start trying "early" because it would probably take a while. And of course, it worked on the first cycle. I don't feel pregnant at all - I only have cramps, nothing else at all; even my boobs seem to be more or less normal after a few days of being really swollen right around my BFP. 

But the problem is, I am not excited. I am scared, and I feel like this is locking me into a whole life I'm not ready for, and committing me to things I'm not sure I want to commit to. I feel so stupid about the whole thing. I just wish I had never started TTC. I also think I did it because of pressure from parents, in-laws, etc., just doing what I am "supposed" to do. 

I know a lot of people try for months or years, I know I should think I am lucky, etc. But really, I just need to know that others have gone through this. I feel terrible that I am not happy, but I'm not.  

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Re: Not excited?

  • ABColeslawABColeslaw member

    You're within your rights to be scared.  Its a big scary change.  I'm sorry that you were pressured, its not the ideal way to come to this huge change in life.  But heres my story.  My sister got pregnant and panicked, she was upset for a while, but then out of nowhere one day she was really excited and she loves her baby now.  I'm sure you'll get excited as time moves on and when you get to see your baby on u/s it will become more real. 

    I wish I could relate more, but I'm super excited to be pregnant.  My hope for you, is that you'll get more comfortale about being pregnant and that you'll be happy.  Good luck.  

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  • murphy420murphy420 member

    You are not alone. When I first found out I cried - But wasn't over the top excited and to this day I don't feel as though I am as excited as I should be, my mom is more excited than I am. I even went a bought a couple gender neutral items to see if that would work - But nope. I went for my frist ultrasound and it was exciting. I hope to be more excited closed to Christmas when I am bigger and it feels more real. I was also very scared in the beginning, thinking that everything wrong was going to happen.

    Hang in there......................Wink

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  • ChicagoWeded2007ChicagoWeded2007 member

    I sometimes feel the same way.  Like when I got my bfp, I didn't feel the giddy jumping up and down like I hear other women do.  I also feel not really ready to give up my life to have a baby and didn't realize it would happen so quickly.  Then, I feel extremely guilty for thinking that way and think about all the people who are trying for years and I'm not even feeling too excited.  I also feel scared to get excited because of the possibility of a loss.  And the even crazier feeling that I am asking for it (to lose it) because I am not as excited as I should be. 

    I can say that the excitement has begun to build, now that I have known for 3 weeks.  I am beginning to feel a little less overwhelmed and feel a bit excited, but I am still not over the moon.  Give it time, I guess.  Not everyone has the same textbook reaction to finding out.


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  • ToshaGirlToshaGirl member

    Not trying to flame you here, but it is indeed too bad you started trying if you weren't ready, irregular cycles or not. Clearly now that is making you sad.

    That said, I think it's natural to be scared and a bit afraid of the unknown - no matter how long people have been trying. So you aren't alone there.  

    I hope you feel a bit better as time goes on. GL to you.

    I should add that I'm not over the moon, falling down with excitment either. But I think that's just the way I am, and I'm a bit ancient to boot :)

     

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  • ourlove4everourlove4ever
    I am sorry you are feeling this way. You probably won't find too many people on here who are feeling the way you are but most people whether they planned or not were scared in the beginning. My DH and I planned and tried to get pregnant but I still was scared at first. If you are more than just nervous then I would talk to OB. Gl, and I hope you feel better.
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  • fatima5968fatima5968 member
    When I found out in April, had a cp, i felt exactly like you did...I was actually depressed and like you said, not ready to give up my life as it was and be responsible for another being. Then after the cp, i've been TTC, and so this time around, I was thrilled..learning how hard it can be to create life, I was just so excited and thrilled this time around. So what you're feeling is normal, I felt guilty feeling that way in April...some books talk about it....
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  • jctewesjctewes
    I personally was super xcited when we found out. Im soo happy to be pregnant. Have you talked to your dh, or anybody else about how your feeling??
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  • AlicebeanAlicebean member

    I think it's completely normal to be scared. We thought it would take awhile for us too but we did it the first try. That BFP definitely wasn't expected so soon. My husband was excited but freaking out, worried about money, our business, space for the baby. I told him we have plenty of time to freak out, lets just enjoy the good news for awhile. I think I am more scared about something going wrong or not being able to juggle what my life is now plus a baby. But at the end when our baby is here I know the hard work will all be worth it and we wouldn't be able to imagine our lives any other way. 

    I think going to a therapist and discussing what your fears are will really help. Ask your OBGYN who they recommend if you don't have one already. 

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  • bb80bb80 member
    I definitely have my "oh crap what have i done" moments.   Part of it is saying goodbye to the crazy partying years, part of it is worrying that I won't be able to handle it, and the other part is looking around my apartment wondering where the hell we will put the baby.  You are not alone, i'm sure it will all go away once we hold those itty bitty babies in our arms!
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  • maeghan21maeghan21 member
    I go back and forth. I think a lot of it for me was I had severe cramping etc when I found out so I was resigning myself to a bad outcome. But after going to the u/s etc I get more and more amped but I'm not a real jump up and down kind of person. As much as we both wanted this of course the minute it happens we go "oh the house wont be finished" " no new car this winter" etc. but really none of that matters b/c in the end this is what we wanted. I think it's normal for your mind to think of all the possible missed nights our and vacations etc. Think these feelings will come and go during pregnancy and heck, there will be times where you say to yourself "what have I done" when the baby is crying non-stop and wont sleep!
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  • KABKDKABKD
    You are definitely not alone. I felt the same way with DS and the excitement grew as it became more and more real. Don't feel guilty this is very normal. People just don't feel as comfortable talking about it as the excitement.
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  • nannyannienannyannie

    I definitely did not jump up and down with excitement when I got my bfp....of course, that was probably because boyfriend and I were using bc, and really are not "ready" for a baby.

    However, the longer I've been pregnant, the better its gotten. While we were never planning to have children (and I do mean ever, I wanted to get my tubes tied last year and no doctor would do it because I was so young) we are slowly getting used to the idea, and we are very thankful that our little buntin was an unasked for blessing rather than something we could never have, no matter how badly we wanted it.

    That being said...yes, I cry at night sometimes thinking about how my body is going to look and the stress this is going to add to an already fragile relationship. But that goes away in the morning, and I think eventually it all goes away, because you don't care how your life is changed, since you got to meet this person...

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  • biddybabybiddybaby
    I was excited when we found out and 90% of the time I still am. But every now and then I feel panicked and wonder what I have gotten myself into. But to get myself out of those moods I think about all the things I am looking forward to about being a mom. One of my favorite things is thinking about having a child to share Christmas traditions with, and all the excitment that I felt as a child and seeing that on my child's face. Not saying thats what you should think of, but it helps to picture the positive and not the negative.
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