if you were/are undecided about finding out the sex

QCinOct · August 2009

What are your reasons for indecision? If you were undecided, but found out the sex or are staying team green, why did you decide that way?

We're up in the air on finding out the sex. I think we'll do a gender neutral nursery regardless. We have names picked out for either sex. I feel like maybe I'll bond better with the baby in utero if I know the sex, but part of me wants that romantic notion of my husband saying 'It's a boy/girl' after delivery.

Barneso · August 2009

Another thing that I didn't think about (until it was too late!) was this. If people attending your baby shower don't know what the gender is, you're more likely to receive items you actually need (stroller, pack and play, diaper bag, etc) than just clothes, clothes, clothes.

Sounds greedy, I know, but several girls on the Bump have pointed that out and I thought it was a pretty good idea.

Battlebaby09 · August 2009

We haven't really ever been on the fence. I agree that it will help you bond. Our nursery is going to be blues either way. I'm just not a pink kinda girl. It is a romantic thought to have your husband say what the baby is, but that only last seconds. Take the time to bond and prepare for your little one. Good Luck!

QCinOct · August 2009

kimbarnes83:

Another thing that I didn't think about (until it was too late!) was this. If people attending your baby shower don't know what the gender is, you're more likely to receive items you actually need (stroller, pack and play, diaper bag, etc) than just clothes, clothes, clothes.

Sounds greedy, I know, but several girls on the Bump have pointed that out and I thought it was a pretty good idea.

I told my mom yesterday that we're still undecided and she complained that we'll just get a lot of green, yellow and white clothes. I don't really see anything wrong with that though

HannaBabe · August 2009

We are still undecided. I really want to know because I hate secrets, DH doesn't care either way. All he said was if you know I want to know and if you don't then I'm fine waiting. You make a really valid point though!

ablou · August 2009

We decided to find out the sex because I was having some bonding issues... I was not feeling connected at all to this little baby. I was more annoyed and uncomfortable than anything... We picked out a boy's name and a girl's name before we went into the big u/s... knowing that we would walk out calling the little baby in my belly a name. Being able to personalize him... calling him a him and calling him by his name has been a godsend. I feel so connected to Charlie and very much like a mommy!

If you're having a problem with connection, I definitely recommend finding out. If you want that delivery room moment, then don't find out... it's a personal choice, and I totally respect both of them!

ETA: we're also doing a neutral nursery (mostly... going to have two valences that are blue toile)... will use the nursery stuff for baby #2

Barneso · August 2009

QCinOct:
kimbarnes83:

Another thing that I didn't think about (until it was too late!) was this. If people attending your baby shower don't know what the gender is, you're more likely to receive items you actually need (stroller, pack and play, diaper bag, etc) than just clothes, clothes, clothes.
Sounds greedy, I know, but several girls on the Bump have pointed that out and I thought it was a pretty good idea.
I told my mom yesterday that we're still undecided and she complained that we'll just get a lot of green, yellow and white clothes. I don't really see anything wrong with that though

The clothes you get will definitely be green, yellow and white (but those are still soooo cute!) but you'll get LESS clothes from people (if that is something you're after) just simply because the green, yellow and whites are not as "fun" to buy.

lostaspen · August 2009

I didn't want to find out because I didn't want to get all boy or all girl themed items. We're doing a neutral nursery because we plan on many more kids, and I'd like all the other items to be the same.

I wanted to find out because...I don't know, it was so cool!

In the end we found out, but decided not to tell anyone. When they ask, we tell them that we told the tech not to tell us (which is true--but she did show us

murfygirl · August 2009

We have had 2 early gender ultrasounds to try and find out what LO is and both were a no go (he she is a total leg crosser) Our ultrasound tech said LO might be this way the entire pregnancy and finding out just might not be in the cards for us :-( We have our big ultrasound on September 11th I am so hoping to find out but if not we will reluctantly be team green.

As far as shower stuff goes I am not worried about people not buying what I need hey we need clothes too. We have loads of target gift cards stocked up for what we don't recieve at our baby shower.

I feel bonded not knowing the gender it took a while but I think it was when I heard the heart beat it was like ah something is in there and its alive LOL

Finding out gender is a total personal choice.

CarlyL · August 2009

I've always said I would wait to find out- I just love the idea of the delivery room announcement and announcing it to our families that day. Plus, I want most things to be gender neutral anyway so we can use them for any future children we may have. It's funny because I was really not all that tempted at our big u/s to find out and I thought I would be.

On a more shallow note, I think you get more practical baby shower gifts when you don't know

CarlyL · August 2009

Oh, and I have not had trouble bonding with the baby at all, especially since I've been able to feel the baby kicking so much lately!

nemtown · August 2009

We didn't fine out and I felt just as attached to the baby as anyone else. I think it's exciting not knowing.

I wanted to know and DH didn't. I knew I would paint the room pink or blue and buy clothes for the baby and DH would find out, so I didn't find out, either.

It was kind of nice because people aren't telling you what to name it, how to dress it, how to decorate the room, etc. If you want to buy a toy or clothes or something for your baby and you DO know the sex. Too bad! Someone else will buy it for you. Want to buy bedding? Too bad! MIL saw the cutest thing at the store and now you have to use THAT.

However, there is something to be said for planning ahead. I would have loved to plan ahead, but I wouldn't change the way we did it.

BTW, our u/s was wrong. It said girl but he's a boy!!!

vtgirl1949 · August 2009

We decided to be surprised with DD#1 and it was exciting in the delivery room for DH to announce that it was a girl. For this pg, I decided I didn't want to know. DH was 50/50 in his decision to find out this time, but decided not to put up a fight on it (and there is no way he could keep it a secret!). I think it's more exciting.

For my shower with DD, I got some clothes in white, yellow, and green, but not a lot and I'm glad that I have them for this baby. This was fine by me not to get a lot of clothes b/c I got a lot of the equipment I needed. After DD was born, I got a TON of pink / girl clothes from friends and family as baby gifts. Also, I did the nursery in gender neutral green, so it is still fine if I have a boy this time.

getnmarried910 · August 2009

kimbarnes83:

Another thing that I didn't think about (until it was too late!) was this. If people attending your baby shower don't know what the gender is, you're more likely to receive items you actually need (stroller, pack and play, diaper bag, etc) than just clothes, clothes, clothes.

Sounds greedy, I know, but several girls on the Bump have pointed that out and I thought it was a pretty good idea.

THIS!!!! I can only tell you from my experience, but I had several friends pregnant with me at the same time with my first and it was their first as well. They all found out and shared the sex. They all got a ton of clothing and not a lot of necessities. My best friend got more pink homemade blankets than she could use, and she had a few those big rubber made storage containers full of 0-3 month and 3-6 month girl clothing that never got worn because she got so many clothes!

We didn't share the sex of our first two, but knew, and we got most things off our registries. We bought some clothes, but after delivery, we still got clothing as gifts, even from people who gave shower gifts, which was totally unexpected! We didn't have to buy hardly anything off of our registry. We had to buy more clothes than other people we knew, but clothes are much cheaper than the travel system, pack n play, breastpump, swing, etc.

I haven' thad a bit of trouble bonding with this baby and not knowing the sex. I feel as attached and bonded to this baby as I did the other two. We never called them by their names because we didn't want to slip up in front of other people anyway.

getnmarried910 · August 2009

kimbarnes83:
QCinOct:
kimbarnes83:

Another thing that I didn't think about (until it was too late!) was this. If people attending your baby shower don't know what the gender is, you're more likely to receive items you actually need (stroller, pack and play, diaper bag, etc) than just clothes, clothes, clothes.

Sounds greedy, I know, but several girls on the Bump have pointed that out and I thought it was a pretty good idea.

I told my mom yesterday that we're still undecided and she complained that we'll just get a lot of green, yellow and white clothes. I don't really see anything wrong with that though

The clothes you get will definitely be green, yellow and white (but those are still soooo cute!) but you'll get LESS clothes from people (if that is something you're after) just simply because the green, yellow and whites are not as "fun" to buy.

My sister is having a boy, but she actually prefers the greens and yellows to blues, so I told her she probably would have been better off not telling people because she would have gotten that! You tell people and they automatically think pink or blue-and that is mostly what is out there for gender-specific clothing, but it's harder to find different colors for boys than it is girls.

Meli0604 · August 2009

We're on Team Green and I've always wanted to be on Team Green long before I was pregnant...but my fiance took some convincing (to be honest he's still very reluctant lol).

1. I think it's so exciting to wait until the delivery to find out. I can't wait to hear the words "It's a ___" after all that pushing.

2. I wouldn't want a blue or pink nursery regardless of the gender - I love neutral colors and that's how I would decorate the nursery regardless.

3. Like other people have said - you receive much more practical gifts. Every single baby shower I've been to people have received clothes that they would NEVER dress the baby in...or just never get the chance to use. I'd rather receive things I know I'm going to use and things I actually picked out for my baby.

4. I honestly believe you can plan just as well even when you don't know the gender. We have a boy name and a girl name picked out...we have all the necessities picked out (crib, stroller, car seat, etc)...the only thing we will not have is an entire closet full of clothes.

5. I have no problem bonding with my baby. But it's different for everyone. I talk to my baby, I not-so-patiently wait to feel the baby move, I've seen the baby bouncing around on the u/s and even the heartbeat. I dont need to know if LO's a boy or girl to feel that bond.

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