DH's odd comment this weekend...
DH and I were talking about the boards and how we pitch in and help fellow Bumpies in times of need. He thinks it's strange but good. Strange inasmuch as in most cases we have never met the people we are helping / doing something nice for but good that we are doing it anyway.
He doesn't get how you can feel close to people you have never met.
I can't remember his exact wording but it was something along the lines of ...helping people who IRL, you may find you would never actually be friends with.
So that got me thinking. Here's a question for you. Are you IRL friends with other posters? Would you WANT to meet people from the board?
We share so much private and sometimes embarassing things here, would that make it wierd meeting someone you know so many intimate things about?
And what about the board inherently being so transient? I mean, that some ladies get on here, share their journey and if they are one of the lucky ones, get their BFP's quick sharp and skedaddle off here so fast it makes your head spin.
Could you invest in a friendship of sorts knowing that a BFP from either side has the potential to screw it up? Let's be honest here - someone else's BFP is easier to deal with on the Great Annonymous Nest than IRL. We have all dealt with that.
On the other hand, we share shuch a unique journey here. To have that IRL as well as on the boards would be... good, I think.
Thoughts??
Re: DH's odd comment this weekend...
I have one IRL friend who posts on a different board. She came to my play group when Harmon was an infant in Las Vegas w/her new son and recognized me, It was a neat way to instantly bond w/someone and helped DH w/the whole thing. Last March we had a SAIF reunion and I briefly caught up with a few of the girls on that board in vegas. It was a lot of fun. So the few occasions I have met folks it has been really nice. Now living in NM I wish there nestie GTG b/c I work so much (in a family company) it has tougher to make friends.
I think the BFP issue is a touchy one. Many of my friends at church announce pregnancies all the time. It is something that is still painful b/c it is so difficult for me to get pregnant and hearing about their healthy pregnancies is a bittersweet thing as well. Oddly enough if they have IF, difficult pregnancies, or issues I haven't had like losses this pain doesn't really show up. For that reason I think I would find it easier to be anyone of you ladies friends IRL. Like you said we all have a common bond.
With that said I really owe a big thanks to all of you all! Your support has been awesome. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you all have let me stick around and be mod to the board. I really love being able to root everyone one on just as you have rooted for me.
I do not know anyone from the boards IRL. I think it would be fun to actually have a G2G to put faces to screen names! I have been funny when others get BFPs in IRL. There will I think always be a little part of me that hurts whenever I hear of someone just having sex and getting pregnant! I am fickle though about it because I do not want a friend to EVER go through what I have gone through. When I have friends who struggle with IF, I am more than ELATED when they can announce.
WE need to plan a g2g if you ladies would ever be interested!
I don't know anyone from the boards IRL. I probably wouldn't share so many personal details if I did. My DH doesn't understand either about how I can care about people I've never met. I really like all of you on this board. I feel genuinely happy when I hear of someone here with a BFP. I don't ever remember feeling that way on T-TTC. I think having a child changes things. In my opinion, SIF is still painful, but it's so different than when having T-TTC DC #1. I was truly devasted when we had trouble conceiving DD. I cried everyday and just had no hope. At least this time around, DD would distract me and I was so very thankful for her.
I'd love to gtg with you all someday. I think I could be friends IRL since we all have a common bond.
I know one person from the SAIF board and in a couple of weeks I am going to a SAIF get together for our area so I will get to meet some more. Before having kids I would have thought that meeting people from the internet was strange...but now it is nice to have "friends" that are in or have been in similar situations. And you can never have enough friends that have kids!! Playdates!!
But yes, drive by BFPs would be hard to deal with if you knew the person IRL, I think. But as for the sharing of info...I am a pretty open person to begin with, so that wouldnt bother me.
This is an interesting question as I _AM_ friends with some of the posters on here, TTTC and SAIF in real life. Has our IF journey made things touchy at times? Sure.
For example, one of my IRL friends (who also posts here and she'll know who she is after I write this) got PG about 3 months before me. I was full on medicated, monitored, having proceedures and surgeries and very technologically invasive. Because of her location, her OB gave her unmonitored Clomid with the option of traveling hours one way to get monitored. They opted for unmonitored and got PG before us.
Now, don't get me wrong - I was OVER. THE. MOON. THRILLED. for them (and still am) but that IF envy beast did creep up now and again in wondering, "How in the h3ll can I be doing all of this crap and not get PG and she takes a few pills and whammo!".
I don't thing it ever affected our friendship but it affected my esteem in myself for a while. Which, I obviously got over. But I think those types of feelings are inherient in the IF journey. Its not about being fickle with BFPs its about related other, completely logically UNRELATED BFPs to our body. Its comparing and contrasting and trying to find sense in the non-sensical. Its trying to match and mingle with other people's medical histories to see if any of their puzzle pieces fit onto your board.
All of that said - I think that I'm better friends with IF'ers than I am with people who haven't traveled these roads. These are bumpy, scary roads full of twists and turns and while I haven't traveled the same road as anyone with whom I'd befriend - I at least understand where they're coming from when they come to me ragged and beaten (or elated & extatic) from this rollercoaster.
To answer your question - I wish I had a teleporting machine and we all could gather together, group hug, b!tch it all out and just be there for one another as we are on these boards because I don't see a separation of "worth" in my friendship with those online versus in person. :-)
I dont know anyone from here IRL but I do wish I could meet some. No one IRL really seems to understand our 2IF pain, especially not like you ladies, and it would be nice to have someone to cry with, laugh with, etc.
You ladies are amazing and the bfp thing makes me sad as I hope you all stick around like fran did and share your pregnancy with us. I intend on it as long as I am welcome (though I may post on other boards as well but I havent found any like this one)
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
You know, I see this every week when I do the check in. Our BFP list is looking pretty healthy these days and we are getting a good few a month now with all the new traffic but so few actually stick around afterwards.
I am a board veteran over here
I hopped on at the end of page 1 with Fran, Tonya, MrsS, FTG and a couple of others who have stuck around. For the year that this board has been going I have rooted and hoped and prayed and cried for these ladies. Majority have gotten their BFP's and are never heard from again.
Maybe I am a little jaded by it all today who knows. It's hard to know that I am the only one out of the original ladies that still isn't pg.
I am so thankful for you ladies. Whether I ever meet you IRL or not. For my Board Buddies who are having their beautiful babies now and in the next few months, thanks for sharing your pregnancies with me. Thanks for being there when I need it even though your struggle and your need to be on this board is over.. for now anyway
Aww Josi ((hugs)) Your bfp will come one day and we will all be so thrilled!
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
Ditto this... I have no pics up and don't really want to put any personal info on here. I could not ask some of the questions I have asked and be so open if I knew that there were people on here reading it that knew me IRL. That is what I like about these boards is that I can feel free to say and ask anything when I might be embarassed IRL... there have been gtg's by me on SAIF and I am always intrigued but have never gone.
editted: Really I am so thankful for everyone on here though and their support! I don't want to leave that part out! and I am sticking around...when I login this is the first page I come check out
I'll post bellies pics and everything someday soon 
and I definitely get much happier hearing a bfp on here then someone IRL who hasn't gone through IF....
*Waves hand* I would be the one sommerrayne is talking about.
We actually knew each other before IF (met through the knot and then met IRL) and I know she has held my hand through many a heartbreak. When I got my BFP it was one of the happiest but also sad times because I was so happy to finally be pregnant but so heartbroken to know she had not gotten her BFP.
I live in a very small rural area where I swear EVERYONE is hyper fertile but myself. Online and mostly with sommerayne is the only place for me to ask questions, vent and just talk about IF in general. Anyone around where I live just doesn't understand or get it and so I would have no outlet for my frustrations and stress with out the internet and online friends. I can barely even talk to my doctors because they are just general prac and my "real" IF doc is 2 hours away.