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2nd Trimester
vent.. drama.. sorry to post it, but have no one to talk to.
If any of you have been following my other posts, you'll probably remember that i was engaged for a while but he abandoned me in my first trimester. We recently started to try and work things out and we were doing really well, until his ex of 7 years got involved. I was going through some pregnancy blues, and i just needed some support from him, and he made all these nice plans for us, then cancelled on me because she wanted to see him. She always wins. That was the last straw. I spent our whole relationship competing with his history and her memory for his love and affection, and i will not subject my son to that. Anyways,,, I've been crying my eyes out hysterically for about half an hour now. I called my ex because i was feeling lonely and having some worries about being financially stable and being ready to be a single mom, and he went nuts on me. Said im psycho and next time he'll get her pregnant and that he never wants to call me again and will see me in court. Im just so upset. When i first got my BFP, i lost my job, and i was searching desperately thru severe morning sickness to find a new one. He makes a lot of money. He has been in the army 8 years and works for the military fixing tanks. When i started to get too sick to function thru my daily routine, he told me he wanted me to take it easy, and not worry about finding a job, and that he would pay our rent and our bills until i felt better. Of course, i trusted and believed him, because he was my fiance. I thought he was the one man i could trust my world with. Anyways, he abandonded me high and dry. I was broke, unemployed, sick, alone, pregnant, scared AND i owed my landlord 2 months rent. So i had to leave my apartment and move into my mothers basement. I've HATED pregnancy. I know that may sound bad, but its truly been one of the worst times in my life. And i blame him completely. Pregnancy is about love. You make a baby when you're in love with somebody you want to create a life with. I love my son with all my heart and soul and would give my own life for him even though i havent met him yet, but that doesn't mean im enjoying this ''life changing experience''... how can i? I'm broke, i don't have a place to call my own, i'm working my way to the third tri and have nothing bought no nursery no furniture no nothing, as of labor day i'll be unemployed again, and most of all i don't have a partner to share these experiences with. It brings me to tears when i feel him kick and look around and realize nobody is there to share that moment with me. I don't have a DH to talk to my belly. I don't ever get told im beautiful. I never get flowers. I never get dinner.... Pregnancy is supposed to be bliss [give or take some nasty symptoms!!!], and its been hell. And i feel guilty for saying that because i never want my son to feel like a burden. I would do all of this a billion times over and over again to bring my son into this world. I'm just all sorts of screwed up. I'm trying desperately to find work ANYWHERE so i can support my LO. I'm trying stores, restaurants, fast food, telemarketing.. everything. I truly believe one day i'll have the life i dreamed of and i'm so blessed that ill have my LO right there with me, i'm just really upset that his ''sperm donor'' turned out to be such a disappointment. I'm sorry this was long, if you read it i really appreciate your time. I'm not really looking for advice.. i just wanted to write this and let it all out since i have no friends that will listen. 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: vent.. drama.. sorry to post it, but have no one to talk to.
-you are beautiful.
I am sorry you are dealing with this.
If you need someone to talk to- I am here to listen
::hugs::
DS #1- Ares Christopher
DS #2- Taj Lee
DD #1 Alba Gray
Baby #4- coming in May
I'm so sorry that your ex is such a sh*thead and put you through hell.
You are beautiful and somehow you will find your way though this and through the next chapter with your son.
{{{HUGS}}}
big brothers 12.2009 and 02.2012
Gosh, I am so sorry about your situation. I believe you shouldn't have to apologize for how you feel in any way. You are super emotional right now because of many things and have every right to be. I applaud you are not giving up and still trying to find work. I might get flamed for this, but I think it's right in the right situation`If you cannot find a job to fully support yourself or if you do find a job but STILL don't make enough money, I would go on assistance of some sort temporarily. Don't give up. You will make it! Maybe this did happen for a reason, I don't know but you will make it. Believe in yourself and everything will work out.
Take care.
First Hugs to you. Second I want to say that in no way your baby is at fault for your x-FI being an a$$hole. It's not your fault either. You were supposed to trust him because that's what you do in relationships.
I know you just wanted someone to talk too when you called him but honestly he was not the good choice to call. Since you guys are not together anymore you need to start building yourself a support system that doesn't include him. I can understand the feelings you are facing about your pregnancy and the situation but honestly this could have happened with him if you were pregnant or not. He sounds like a tool. Next time you need to talk you can call me instead of him! I'll listen with and honest heart and not give any advice unless asked.
Screw him! It's his loss to not be apart of your son's life. You CAN do this and things WILL get better.
I'm sorry you are going through this... there are plenty of open ears here if you need advice or comfort. There is no reason for anyone to give you eyerolls... this isn't your fault and it's out of your control.
::hugs::
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Do you live near family? Is it possible to go somewhere else where you have a good support system. Either way I think you should completly distance yourself from him. He's no good for you and obviously doesn't care about the welfare of his child. You deserve better!
I know there are support groups out there for single parents. Maybe you can find one in your area and try to work through some things.
Good luck! I wish you all the best.
;;;Big Hugs:::
I agree with PP you should focus on you and your son. i will keep you guys in my prayers and I hope you fin a job very soon.
I just wanted to say that I am sorry, too, that you are going through this. Like a pp said, the father will have to pay child support so please do make sure that you go through the process to get that.
Also, don't be too hard on yourself! There is no shame in living with your mother. Use this time to save up any money that you can make and to plan for the future. Look for cheap (but safe) used baby gear on Craigslist, knit your own baby blankets, etc.
Most importantly, don't forget that even though you are so heartbroken right now, you are getting the best thing out of this: your son! However big a douche bag your ex-fiance is being, you get to be mom to a little miracle and he can't take that away from you.
Good luck!!
Ditto to all of the above. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this alone.
(((((HUGS)))))
Your best bet is to cut off contact with him for the remainder of the pregnancy. You don't need all that drama in your life right now. When the baby's born, get a paternity test and get a court order for child support. But attempting to cling to a relationship that's basically just a hot mess is not going to help you or the baby.
I understand that pregnancy hormones are rough, but at some point you're going to have to take responsibility for your choices - it did take two to make this baby - and do what's right for your child and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's fine to have a good cry every now and then, but wallowing in it is not going to get you anywhere. GL
First, I'm sorry you are going through this. Second, I'm sorry, but your ex sounds like a complete waste of space.
Take him to court when your baby is born, get the child support your son deserves, stay with your mom until you can find something more permanent, and don't ever go near that man again. He has a lot of nerve to pull this crap.
Good luck and hugs to you.
You ARE beautiful, you ARE worthwhile and you WILL make an excellent mother.
Listen sweetie, you NEED to turn this around yourself. Screw him, screw the fact that you don't have a man in your life. You don't need a man in your life! Right now things are bad, but trust in yourself that they will not be bad forever, you can turn this around. Be positive (i know this is easier said than done), cut him completely out of your life until it is time to go to court to collect child support, do not contact him.
You need to focus on things you can be thankful for, that you have a mother who can help you until you can get on your feet, that you have a place to live and that you and your baby are healthy. You'll find a job, you'll eventually get on your feet and find an apartment. Focus on the here and now not on the what if's and i'll never's.
::hug::
I am sorry you are going through this. My DD's father was in the airforce and he left me when he found out I was pregnant. It was tough being a single mom but it was well worth the struggles.
Go after him for child support and all the military benefits that your son is entitled to. I had to fight my ex for them, but with a few letters to his boss's and state senators. I got the benefits for her.
If you need help with that or need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.
Listen you have the world by the fingertips!
You don't need a man in your life to be happy. My BFF had 2 kids by 20 lived with her mom because her SO was a coke head and not supportive. She went to Dental Hygiene school in the day time delivered newspapers in the wee hours and now she has 4 kids married to a wonderful guy and makes 90K a year!
She got a free ride to college..Look into Dental Hygiene It pays great and you can pick your days...It's great I love being a Hygienist
PM me if you want info..
I have been following your posts, and I am sorry that this is where your situation is right now.
You ARE beautiful and very strong. You don't need a man in your life who is going to treat you like this. Do you think it would be better if you cut off contact with him? You might feel better if you were not subjected to his childish behaviour. I agree with PP about contacting his comanding officer to try and get some financial help from this jerk.
Hang in there, please vent to us when you need.
You are going to make it.
I'm sorry you're sad. But, you don't need him to have this be a joyful experience.
I'd talk to a lawyer. You'll need to get your ducks in a row so you can start receiving child support right away. A lawyer will be able to tell you what you need to do and what your options are.
Keep looking for jobs. Try a temp agency. I worked for one before, and I was always getting called for jobs. Keep applying at places.
Have you considered going back to school? Maybe your mom will let you remain there while you work on a degree. That way, you're using this unemployed time to prepare yourself for a future career, instead of just looking for a temporary job. Many universities have part time jobs that'll work around your class schedule. Also, your financial aid could be used to supplement your income. You'd have to pay back the loans one day, but student loans are pretty reasonable about not making you pay them back until you can afford to.
Sit down and make a plan for your life. What do you want to do? You'll feel better, and be a better role model for your son, if you take life by the horns and use this opportunity in a positive way instead of being sad or depressed about where you stand.