Let's talk about sex...

MommyMar2010 · August 2009

Here I am, approaching 16 weeks and TOTALLY un-interested in sex. I feel bad and force myself to do it, b/c DH and I were a couple that did it at least 3-5 times a week and now we're down to once a week if i can even bear it. Last time we did it, it was SO uncomfortable and not enjoyable for me, the whole time it felt like someone was pushing on my bladder and I was just hoping he would finish so it could be over.

I feel SO bad--to even have thought that. We used to have this great sex life and now i dread it. I know DH is reluctant to approach me like he used to since I'm mostly like "i'm not in the mood" or "i'm achy" or whatever, and i feel really bad.

Anyone else? Can someone tell me this gets BETTER?

mommys.gummy.bear · August 2009

i'm right there w/ you. we started to fool around last night and i just couldnt get into it. i feel really bad for DH. :-/

Wake_Life · August 2009

Well, I can tell you the desire for sex comes back. Pretty stong actually but enjoying it is about the same. Foreplay is nice and all but the actual doing it part is not fun! I think everything has shrunk.lol that's the best way I can describe it, it doesn't feel like there's enough room!

saracaceres · August 2009

i am in the same boat...

it just hurts too much for me, and my husband doesn't ask me anymore bcuz he knows it hurts. i feel bad but there isn't much i can do...

The bigger your belly gets you can try different positions to see if it helps, sorry to say it didn't with me.. it just became more painful. My hubby doesn't like missionary anymore, he thinks he is squishing the baby.lol

talk to your doctor about it...

Sara

litlmermd · August 2009

Can't tell you when it gets any better, cause it still sucks for me. My hubby and I got in a huge fight last night over it because he thinks that I wasn't trying and was not in the mood because I didn't find him attractive any more. I had to convince him that it wasn't him, it was me and that having extra weight in front of me does not make it easy to get the deed done. I also don't feel real sexy right now....we talked for a long time and he understands now...it's good to know that I am not the only one who feels this way!!!

laureneyoung@hotmail.com · August 2009

same here. our sex life used to be amazing! now, i'm too worried about hurting the baby, etc thta i can't enjoy it.

lostaspen · August 2009

For me it's gotten better in the past three or so weeks. During the first tri it was okay, but in the second tri it was really uncomfortable. What has helped with me is lots of foreplay and lube. But still, after I finally do orgasm, DH better be done within like 5-10 seconds because I get really sore/tender after orgasm.

TXTwisterBabe · August 2009

Yeah not interested at all. But one difference...I don't feel guilty lol. DH has two hands and a slew of photos of me, he can manage.

MommyMar2010 · August 2009

You are def not alone. I"m with you on the not feeling sexy part either. Right now I dont really look that pregnant, I feel just kinda fat and if I'm on top everything jiggles (including my boobs...ugh let's not even go there) and it's SO hard to get in the mood.

We tried it from the side (like the doc suggested) and i felt so much pressure on my bladder it was not fun but I felt bad telling DH to stop since it had been so long since we've had sex and I wanted him to at least enjoy it, even if I wasn't going to. I just NEVER thought I'd dread having sex with my DH.........it's so hard to deal with and I feel so bad b/c he said he feels so much more connected to me when we do it..........ugh.

littlemaybaby · August 2009

Unfortunately, for me it has not gotten better - it has gotten worse. Like you, we were pretty regular with sex prior to pregnancy, and now it's a whole lot less than once a week!

Early in second tri, it was uncomfortable, but not terrible. But this past week, it was really bad. Borderline painful actually - to the point that I'm worried DH may not get any again for the next 15 weeks.

I'm planning on talking to my doctor about it at my next appointment - just to make sure that she doesn't think anything is wrong. I mean, I never expected to be a "horny" pregnant woman, but I also didn't expect sex to be SO uncomfortable either.

mrs.priss7 · August 2009

I have been way into it, but we were extremely active prior to me being PG so maybe its just an ndividual thing? It sucks now that my bellys big, cause I def don't feel sex, but that doesn't stop me! Plus I read the more you do it the more likely you are to have the baby earlier than 40 weeks, I would love for him to get here at 37 or 38 so I'm gonna push myself even if I do lose interest and its good cardio!!!

Wake_Life · August 2009

TXTwisterBabe:
Yeah not interested at all. But one difference...I don't feel guilty lol. DH has two hands and a slew of photos of me, he can manage.

I Love It! I was just thinking if you feel guilty there's always a good BJ.

blessedinthewest · August 2009

I guess it is different for everyone. I personally have enjoyed it all through out my pregnancy so far. There have been a lot of days when I was too tired or didn't feel well but that isn't all the time.

I've found that during the day time on the weekends is the best time because that is when I am least tired or feeling sick.

We had to go several weeks without because of placenta previa but that has cleared up and we are back on track.

rhannan · August 2009

Wake_Life:
Well, I can tell you the desire for sex comes back. Pretty stong actually but enjoying it is about the same. Foreplay is nice and all but the actual doing it part is not fun! I think everything has shrunk.lol that's the best way I can describe it, it doesn't feel like there's enough room!

I agree, my desire came back at about 14 weeks, and I love the foreplay, but the sex--get it over with! I feel so bad too, but DH andI talked about it and he said he read something similar in one of his "daddy" books so he gets it. I told him that I had read the US Weekly this week with Kendra Baskett (I know, I read crap!) and she said the same thing--she likes sex but wants it over with fast, if Hank doesn't finish fast she'll say she's done and get off him. I told DH that I will always let him finish, but to try to make it quick!! I told him that whats best now is the proverbial "2-pump chump"!! Wink

CaptainD · August 2009

Same boat for sure! DH and I just talked about this last night and I started crying when he said it had been almost a month. I couldn't believe it had been that long! I decided that I would make an effort today (especially since he is starting a one week "stay"cation so we have more time on our hands) and it turned out being pretty nice, actually! I was on top and it helped me control everything a little better (we tried the from-behind-on-the-side and it was very uncomfortable). I thought my belly would be in the way but it wasn't and I kinda forgot all about it.

I think, as long as there are open lines of communication and each person is comfortable with whatever decision is made, it is all ok. DH wasn't pressuring me to do it today. I really wanted to try because I missed that connection with him. But, obviously, a month went by and I didn't even know it!!! Being pregnant really changes things for a bit. I am sure it will get better!!

ShannonLK · August 2009

Up until a week ago I had no interest and was just flat out too tired to have sex. It's picked up and we had sex twice yesterday.

DH was a happy man! He asked me yesterday morning if I was coming to the part of the pregnancy where I was going to want it more. I told him I didn't know. I guess after last night I can say I am!

loregopar · August 2009

Same here. It's pretty tight down there! We're down to once a week, though it can be 2 weeks. We're using lube and that has helped. But today having him on top of me was impossible! it felt like he was really pressing my belly.

But it's definitely still to tight for comfort, ti's almost like my body is saying "you already did your job, get outta here!" LOL

MFalor · August 2009

After reading all these posts, I'm realizing now how lucky I am that my DH is sensitive to my feelings re: sex. I don't think I could've married him if he wasn't. Personally, there's no way I can make myself have sex if it's uncomfortable or hurts. It would feel like rape or something. Seriously, if he's putting pressure on you to do it you need to talk to him about it for sure.

mrs_sherod · August 2009

At 25 weeks, I can't tell you it gets better! I'd really rather not do it. Even with lots of lube, I don't enjoy it. I'm sure others enjoy it though. I just knew being pregnant would make it even better, but not for me.

mrs_sherod · August 2009

TXTwisterBabe:
Yeah not interested at all. But one difference...I don't feel guilty lol. DH has two hands and a slew of photos of me, he can manage.

Hahahahaaha, I agree with this!

loregopar · August 2009

I should add I have some of my desire back, and sometimes I get super horny, but it's still tight and painful!

YayMom · August 2009

Sorry, I can't help you. I have the sex drive of a 18 year old frat boy...but it is starting to feel weird when little one is kicking while we are having sex, therefore ruining my drive for the moment.

Jeni182 · August 2009

I was thinking about making a post about this exact topic! Most of the time I have no desire what so ever. There has been a time or two where i've had a particularly juicy dream that's put me in the mood and the foreplay is great but I could do without the sex part. It's painful and it just feels not right down there. I know it drives DH batty and I wish there was something I could do but honestly I think I could go this whole pregnancy without sex and be just fine.

SRose27 · August 2009

We finally had sex yesterday for the first time in about 4 months. I was in the mood, but it was quite painful and not really enjoyable. We did use some lube which helped. Like previous posts say, it feels like everything shrunk!!! haha

pinktea · August 2009

Yeah not interested at all. But one difference...I don't feel guilty lol. DH has two hands and a slew of photos of me, he can manage

Ha! I love it and I'm with you!

eee23 · August 2009

So with DD I had NO sex drive at all and we had sex twice during the whole pregnancy. I know, I know, pretty pathetic. Well, we have been together for 10 years so he had many good years of TONS of sex. So, after I had DD my sex drive never came back. I was so sad and was even about to talk to my dr about it but decided to wait until after this pg. Again, this pg, NO sex drive........until about 2 weeks ago! Yippee!! It's back! I don't know who is happier me or DH. Party!!!

TXTwisterBabe · August 2009

and like someone said above, if you feel so bad about it there's always a good BJ. Unless you're like me and your gag reflex is way up since being pregnant.

adriennevla · August 2009

I was totally not in the mood for it, ever, until this past week. Now I want it pretty much every day, however, it takes more patience on his part than it used to. Even if I want it, I need more foreplay than before or else it'll hurt. It just takes a bit to get used to, but after a little while I'm ready to go. Before that, I just gave him blow jobs which he doesn't prefer because he feels selfish getting them, but it's better than nothing.

I hope it gets better for you!

sila129 · August 2009

TXTwisterBabe:
Yeah not interested at all. But one difference...I don't feel guilty lol. DH has two hands and a slew of photos of me, he can manage.

lol i dont feel guilty either. im the one one getting fat and feeling like ***... he will survive.

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