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Need opinion on gift for BM

lwilkinsonlwilkinson
in Blended Families

Ok, maybe I'm crazy but it just so happens that we will be seeing the BM on her 40th birthday due to a major event happening in SS's life - so I was thinking about getting her a necklace that either has her kids initials or their names and birthdates - like an etsy type purchase.

 Do you think this is over the top? I know it's not necessary but she's really been making an effort since our baby was born and I'd like to honor that. Strange??? Cool??? What do y'all think? TIA! 

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Re: Need opinion on gift for BM

  • SaranSaran member
    Will the gift be from the SD to her mother or from you & DH? I have a great relationship with BM but any gifts given to her have the kids names on them (eventhough I pick em out) and she does the same. I'm sure when I have my baby, she will give a gift but put the kids name on it eventhough it will probably be her idea.
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  • lwilkinsonlwilkinson
    imageluckyangel:

    I think its really cool that you have that kind of relationship with BM and would do that for her.  I'm sure it would mean alot to her. 

    I think alot of the girls on here would probably like to choke their BM's with the necklace, but in your case, it sounds like a cool thing to do.

    Oh no, most of the time I'd like to strangle her with it. It's only since LO was born that she's started to come around.

    And pp: I think I could have it be from the skids. We dont get them that often but I could pull it off. I'm sure BM's new husband will take the skids to get something for her as well.  

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  • ScissorTailedFlycatcherScissorTailedFlycatcher member

    I personally think it is a nice gesture, but probably unnecessary. If you do want to go ahead with it (kudos to you, girl! really!), then she will appreciate just about anything you (the kids) give her. That being said, a necklace without anything on it may be appropriate enough. My BM has given me a bracelet from the kids (nothing too spectacular, but a nice gesture), but to be honest, I don't wear it. It reminds me of her, and I just don't like that.?

    So, if you are going to get her something, I wouldn't spend too much money or effort on it for fear that she won't wear it (or two, think it was from your DH). JMHO. You obviously know her better than we do.?

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  • lwilkinsonlwilkinson

    imageshortyred919:

    My BM has given me a bracelet from the kids (nothing too spectacular, but a nice gesture), but to be honest, I don't wear it. It reminds me of her, and I just don't like that. 

    So, if you are going to get her something, I wouldn't spend too much money or effort on it for fear that she won't wear it (or two, think it was from your DH).  

    Very, very, good point that she may not even wear it. She's obsessed with my LO right now too. She wants to hold him etc... she spent 20 minutes talking to him when we dropped the skids off. 
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  • ScissorTailedFlycatcherScissorTailedFlycatcher member
    imagelwilkinson:

    imageshortyred919:

    My BM has given me a bracelet from the kids (nothing too spectacular, but a nice gesture), but to be honest, I don't wear it. It reminds me of her, and I just don't like that.?

    So, if you are going to get her something, I wouldn't spend too much money or effort on it for fear that she won't wear it (or two, think it was from your DH). ?

    Very, very, good point that she may not even wear it. She's obsessed with my LO right now too. She wants to hold him etc... she spent 20 minutes talking to him when we dropped the skids off.?

    I have a feeling my BM will be like that, too. She already does that with my chihuahua.

    ::rolls eyes::?

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  • lwilkinsonlwilkinson
    imageshortyred919:
    imagelwilkinson:

    imageshortyred919:

    My BM has given me a bracelet from the kids (nothing too spectacular, but a nice gesture), but to be honest, I don't wear it. It reminds me of her, and I just don't like that. 

    So, if you are going to get her something, I wouldn't spend too much money or effort on it for fear that she won't wear it (or two, think it was from your DH).  

    Very, very, good point that she may not even wear it. She's obsessed with my LO right now too. She wants to hold him etc... she spent 20 minutes talking to him when we dropped the skids off. 

    I have a feeling my BM will be like that, too. She already does that with my chihuahua.

    ::rolls eyes:: 

    Good luck. I think my BM wants another baby but it hasnt happened yet so she's living it out through my LO. She said the next time she sees him she wants to hold him... Needless to say - I wont be bringing my LO to the drop off until he's like 5. LOL
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  • ScissorTailedFlycatcherScissorTailedFlycatcher member
    imagelwilkinson:
    imageshortyred919:
    imagelwilkinson:

    imageshortyred919:

    My BM has given me a bracelet from the kids (nothing too spectacular, but a nice gesture), but to be honest, I don't wear it. It reminds me of her, and I just don't like that.?

    So, if you are going to get her something, I wouldn't spend too much money or effort on it for fear that she won't wear it (or two, think it was from your DH). ?

    Very, very, good point that she may not even wear it. She's obsessed with my LO right now too. She wants to hold him etc... she spent 20 minutes talking to him when we dropped the skids off.?

    I have a feeling my BM will be like that, too. She already does that with my chihuahua.

    ::rolls eyes::?

    Good luck. I think my BM wants another baby but it hasnt happened yet so she's living it out through my LO. She said the next time she sees him she wants to hold him... Needless to say - I wont be bringing my LO to the drop off until he's like 5. LOL

    Good idea. :-)

    My BM told me that she is getting the baby fever. I just wanted to tell her that maybe she should try being a better parent to the two she has first. Ahh, BMs...?

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  • lwilkinsonlwilkinson
    imageshortyred919:
    imagelwilkinson:
    imageshortyred919:
    imagelwilkinson:

    imageshortyred919:

    My BM has given me a bracelet from the kids (nothing too spectacular, but a nice gesture), but to be honest, I don't wear it. It reminds me of her, and I just don't like that. 

    So, if you are going to get her something, I wouldn't spend too much money or effort on it for fear that she won't wear it (or two, think it was from your DH).  

    Very, very, good point that she may not even wear it. She's obsessed with my LO right now too. She wants to hold him etc... she spent 20 minutes talking to him when we dropped the skids off. 

    I have a feeling my BM will be like that, too. She already does that with my chihuahua.

    ::rolls eyes:: 

    Good luck. I think my BM wants another baby but it hasnt happened yet so she's living it out through my LO. She said the next time she sees him she wants to hold him... Needless to say - I wont be bringing my LO to the drop off until he's like 5. LOL

    Good idea. :-)

    My BM told me that she is getting the baby fever. I just wanted to tell her that maybe she should try being a better parent to the two she has first. Ahh, BMs... 

    ROFL - you are SO right!
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  • karay81karay81
    I think that's a great idea to give BM a gift. But I agree a necklace might be a little too personal. Maybe something smaller, like a framed photo of the kids or some chocolates? This is the site my work uses for clients' gifts: https://intemperantia.com. They have very tasty truffles!
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  • DREWLILYDREWLILY

    I think it's cool of you. If you and BM have a semi decent relationship, then a gift would be very thoughtful. But if any gift you get her is going to come across to her as anything other than what you intend it to, then skip it.

    A necklace is a nice idea but might be a bit much. Again, I don't know how your relationship with her is though. Maybe have the kids make her something. That is extremely thoughtful and a little more low key.

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  • PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member
    Meh I am thinking a gift voucher or something small but not a necklace thats to personal. 
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  • thewhitzthewhitz member

     I think it sounds like a good idea. I agree that you shouldn?t spend too much money on it and that you should make it from your SS.

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  • goldenjesgoldenjes member
    I think it's very cool, and your idea sounds great.

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