I shouldn't be pregnant
So, I am cautiously excited to be expecting, but still really, really scared. I have been told since I was 17 years old (and by 6 different doctors) that conception would be a less than guarateed adventure that would likely have to involve a gifted doctor, great healthcare coverage, and modern technology.
I am 37 years old. I have been married for 14 years, and we had an unexpected pregnancy that resulted in my wonderful daughter 6.5 years ago! At the time, I had been told by my current physician that at 30 years old, with PCOS, Type II diabetes, and overweight - birth control may be a bit of overkill. So we stopped taking it in 2002... and had a daughter in 2003.
Then 4 years ago, while ON PRESCRIPTION BIRTH CONTOL, we conceived again - this time resulting in a heartbreaking miscarriage at about 8 weeks. Although we were not (and never have) tried to get pregnant, as soon as I suspected we were, I wanted that baby. I still feel sadness thinking about not having a 4 year old in our family along with my daughter.
Imagine my surprise, when after switching to another method of birth control and doing so for 4 years, I realized I wasnt having PMS symptoms. Although I dont have a regular period, I do have regular symptoms. I sat through a whole dinner with friends and never felt the urge to assault someone for the nachos & salsa... I knew something was odd. I took a HPT (ok I took several of them), and sure enough, it showed I was pregnant - even though I wasnt expecting my period for another week.
I am afraid to be hopeful... I have told my sisters, my husband, and a single close friend, but I am really worried. I am guessing I am about 5.5 weeks, but don't have an ultrasound until 9/16. I once saw my ovaries on an ultrasound - to quote the technician administering the exam, she said "That, my friend, is NOT normal". I don't know why I have gotten pregnant so many times. We were in the middle of engaging an adoption agency to adop an older child.
I have sooooo many worries: how do I prevent miscarriage, how do I keep my breasts from getting as big as they did the last time (ok, so admittedly should not be my biggest worry, but you would understand if you had seen them), how to safeguard my career, when should I tell my boss, my employees, is business travel safe, how to be in two places at once, how do you tell a 6 year old that mommy is pregnant, is my husband the only hubby who thinks pregnancy is a deadly disease, what if that quick EPT result a week before my missed period is because THERE IS MORE THAN ONE IN THERE (OMG)???
I am at least glad that I have a chance to share somewhere without freaking out my husband or telling people I am not ready to tell.
Re: I shouldn't be pregnant
Hello! Welcome! Congratulations! Sticky baby vibes!
And one thing at a time. You just have to take it day by day here.
Obviously, whatever else is up with your ovaries, they are producing perfectly good egg cells. You have a daughter that proves it.
I can't help with the breasts or the miscarriage concerns (although I especially share that last one). We can only guess at the cause of most miscarriages, but something like 50% of all conceptions and 20% of confirmed pregnancies don't make it. We don't know why.
You might want to wait until you see the doctor to tell your daughter what's up, or you might want to tell her now. Break it to her as happy news, but be prepared for her to have some trouble adjusting. Had you discussed your adoption plans with her? That might be a good starting point.
Business travel is as safe as anything, up until late in the third trimester.
Hold off on telling your boss for a while yet - unless you're friends, it's none of his business until you need to start thinking about maternity leave (when exactly you need to think about that depends on the nature of the business, but see the doctor, hear a heartbeat, get past the first trimester in any case).
The early EPT result is most likely the result of ovulation very early in your cycle. You might have more than one in there, but don't sweat that possibility unless you have to - it's not the likeliest.
And really: Congratulations.
Whoa! Take a deep breath, and RELAX!! You are pregnant, and that's wonderful! Maybe you "shouldn't" be, but you are and things happen for a reason. I have a cousin with PCOS and she got pg with the help of fertility meds, another friend who was told she would have a very hard time getting pg because of endometriosis and got pg on their first cycel.
You can't prevent a miscarriage. Worrying about having one is only going to stress you out.
Tell your daughter when you're ready. She's at an age where she'll probably be excited. Especially if she's into dolls, she'll probably think of the baby as a real-life doll. Have her help you pick out baby clothes, decorate, etc so she feels a part of it too.
I waiting until near the end of my first trimester before sharing the news with my boss and coworkers. Look into your maternity leave policy to see how much time you get. Don't forget you can use FMLA ifyou need to. And travel is fine up until about your last month.
As for big breasts? Can't help with that but I'm there with ya, mine went up another cup size after my son. I hope it doesn't happen again or I'll seriously consider breast reduction!!
Congrats! I am glad you have found this board cause it is such a great source of support and I think you will enjoy getting to know these ladies through out your pregnancy.
Like the others said, you've got a lot going on so you have to take it one day at a time. I was just thinking to myself how I have done my pregnancy such an injustice because from the minute I got 2 lines - I have worried and expected things to go terribly wrong, like they did in my first pregnancy. Now, I do still have time - but at 22 weeks I was told we would work really hard and try to get to 28. I am now knocking on 33 weeks door with no end in sight. Sadly, I am just now starting to feel at ease and excited about my baby and thinking less about all the things that could go wrong.
I wish we had a crystal ball. I wish I could tell you not to worry and have certainty about that. But I do now, if anything is gonna happen - it will happen whether you worry or not. Why not try the more enjoyable way???
You will figure all your questions out. But if you do figure out the big boob thing - I think you can sell that, I'd buy - mine are out of control!!!!
Hang in there and keep us posted! Congrats again!
congrats!
i can relate. i have PCOS and am a bit "fluffy" myself. we were given a 10% chance of conceiving with clomid and now have a beautiful (objectively speaking of course!) DS.
as for miscarriage, i have heard there is a higher rate of miscarriage with PCOS. i have also heard that metformin can help reduce the risk of miscarriage for a PCOSer back down to the "normal" level. the flip side is that it's a category B (i think) drug and it hasn't been tested for side effects during pregnancy. that being said, i was on metformin all the way through my first trimester and DS is perfect. you may consider talking to your dr about metformin. the hard part is finding a dr that takes PCOS seriously. i had a heck of a time. a lot of OBs don't have a full understanding of the issues that can result.
as for the rest of the stuff, try to relax and take it one day at a time. easier said than done i'm sure!
good luck and hang in there!
I too have PCOS. I've been trying on and off to prevent getting type II diabetes. I'm also overweight, kind of chunky. It seems my arms and legs want to stay skinny but the middle likes to be round. As for the breasts, I would LOVE to have a reduction. Ever since elementary school they've been big for my size. They've gone up in a cup, formerly a 40G now a 38GG.
I was skinny until mid-20s then one day my periods decided to be irregular. And the PMS symptoms decide to take it up a notch. I was told that my chances of having children was that it would be difficult. In a sense they were right, I have had 2 miscarriages due to blighted ovums but I still didn't give up. However, at 39, I am pregnant with our first child. I currently struggling to keep my bp down and finally got that (hopefully) in control last thursday.
I always feel like I am some outsider looking in and the past few weeks as I struggled to get my bp down, I've wished that I could be like those women I always see having a pregnancy that has barely any problems and they are always so happy. I thought my family would be excited, grateful my in-laws make up for it. They are overjoyed. Everyone in my family fussed over my sister in law when she was pregnant and I feel like cinderella wishing to be allowed to go to the ball. I just wish the in-laws were in the same city and maybe I wouldn't feel a bit ignored or disregarded. Because of the high bp, my DH told them not to stress me out but it seems that is all they want to do. It's just so frustrating at times.
I was told that I would be lucky to get pregnant in a year or two with IVF.. I had endometriosis and was overweight, etc.
I went off b/c (depo shot) and didn't get a period for three months. ?I lost about 25 lbs in that time, which I think caused my periods to come back. ?I got ONE period at the end of January and was pregnant by the end of February.. and our BFP was before I missed my period too. ?It wasn't on any medication (no metformin or clomid, etc).
GL and Congrats! ?Try to enjoy it..