What's the point in a registry if people are going to buy what they want anyways?

laureneyoung@hotmail.com · August 2009

this is probably completely rude and selfish of me to say, but my dh's family doesn't have the best taste in decor/apparel, etc. his aunt made a comment to me today saying that i need to announce my theme so that everyone can buy me bib, blankets, spoons, just about everything with elephants on it. elephants will be my bedding but i don't want every single baby items in the shape of an elephant. what's the point of a registry if the guests aren't going to use it?

spappy · August 2009

There's a post a couple of lines below asking the same thing. haha. Long story short, I told her that I understand completely, but you have to be grateful for what you get? They don't have to throw you a shower, or buy you anything. If it's not what you wanted, take it back and get what you need/want. Just try to enjoy your shower and be grateful. Not all of us have family that will even buy them stuff. So just smile!! It will turn out fine. Big Smile

KateLouise · August 2009

Could you say, "we don't really have a theme for our nursery. But we have a registry with things we'd like, if you/they're interested"

LittleApple · August 2009

A registry is a wish list or SUGGESTIONS of things you like. People can choose to buy you something off that said list or something else. You cannot dictate what people buy you. My favorite items were those that were not shrink wrapped or made out of plastic and metal.

The ungratefulness of so many pregnant women is astounding.

nooniesgal · August 2009

Registry is a guideline...helpful suggestions. That is all it is. If someone wants to give you a 5 foot stuffed Elephant, just say thank you and see if there is a gift receipt in the box. I will however say that half of your guest list will not take the time to hit up 10 different shops until they find something with an Elephant on it.

If people want to look at a registry they can...if they don't want to then you need to feel blessed to have friends and family attend. Showers are expensive and in this economy they might think they can find you a better deal for their budget if they can shop around too.

RoxyLynn · August 2009

A registry is YOUR list of what YOU need. Nearly everyone is going to research different strollers, car seats, cribs, etc. to figure out what they want - whether they share that list as a registry or not.

moonfaerie · August 2009

I found that people buy what they like, not really what they think you need or want. Like I got a TON of newborn clothes, and more than half the babies I know are born bigger than 8lbs so they wear 0-3 months right away. I'm not ungrateful, but waiting to see what she weighs when she comes out. My sister has awesomely offered to exchange all the NB stuff if we can't use it.

Also people don't want to buy things that aren't cute. We got mostly clothes and stuffed animals, not things I think I need like a baby tub, diaper disposal system, etc. I guess my point is don't get your hopes that you will get what you need at your shower. You will get nice things but you'll definitely still have to go shopping for necessities.

Irishsapphire · August 2009

I think that you view your baby registry as a way to have order to the gifts that you are receving. And you are managing your own pregnancy, the transition to being a mother, and then all of the gifts--which can be like managing a zoo. Instead of the gifts that you are given feeling like it is helping you--it is causing extra stress--I am going to have to take back certain items because I received too much of one size or a size in the wrong season, or I received duplicates--oh it is another trip to Goodwill.

I think good gift giving etiquette is attaching a gift receipt. I have worked a lot of retail, and the happiest customers are the ones who really got what they really wanted. Mothers-to-be are no different--they are a consumer like everyone else.

Some of the people buying gifts for you may not be perfect at gift giving. In their mind, they are, but they are really not perfect. It is like the chef who keeps serving the bad piece of key lime pie.

In the end, the best gift will be your baby, and that is the most precious gift that you are getting. And hopefully the zoo of gifts can be tamed.

lovejonesy77 · August 2009

I don?t know why people get so up in arms about this when someone posts that they want what they registered for. If they didn?t want it, they wouldn?t have put it on the registry. Especially first time moms, who have never had a kid, it?s hard to only get clothes when you hear that you are going to need this and that to soothe a newborn or when people say "OMG, this one thing was a lifesaver!". But all you got were super cute clothes, I don?t think that is going to pacify a baby because its dress really well!

I don?t think its greed necessarily, it wasn?t greed when we had a wedding registry and got tons of stuff we didn?t "need" but wanted. And those $200 place settings weren?t even to support a life and probably haven?t even been used. My stance is especially because of the economy, the return policies out there are crap. I bought one item myself, online at BRU and realized I I couldnt use it. I took it back, with the packing slip and because I didn?t have a receipt (which I don?t think was even in the box) I only got a store credit. My other choice? Keep the item, no if ands or butts!

So I too, am really worried about getting stuff that I can?t do anything with. Especially after my own experience at BRU. The whole point of the shower is to celebrate with friends and family, not the gifts, but it does cause some stress, so people need to back off!

mAnYaSha · August 2009

It's frustrating when people ignore you registry that was carefully researched and put together. However, there is not much you can do about it if there is no gift receipt, store will not accept a return without one or if you cannot identify where items came from. Worst case scenario, your registry will help you make sure you have everything you need and having registry at BRU and Target gives you 10% all items left on the list.

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What's the point in a registry if people are going to buy what they want anyways?

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