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Attachment Parenting
SeaSoul
member
Your thoughts on Internet use and AP.
SeaSoul
member
Sometimes I feel I am on the internet too much. The majority of my internet use is at work (yeah - slow job, but one I need nonetheless) or after DS is in bed, but I will admit to spending time on the 'net at home sometimes while he is playing. I don't have that much time w/ him since I work FT, and yet I still do it. Part of me feels like this goes against my AP philosphy and isn't fair to him.
What's your LO doing when you're on the internet, and do you feel any guilt about that time spent?
Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Your thoughts on Internet use and AP.
I'm usually nursing DD, or she's sleeping on my lap, when I'm online (like right now). I'm a one-handed typing expert.
I'm also online most of the day at work, too, between appointments and meetings.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
When he was smaller, it was easier. He'd lie on his playmat, swatting at the dangly bits, and if he fussed, I would read him some of what I was reading and whatever it was, he liked it. Even when I read him the tax code. (Internet use was manifestly NOT unfair to him at this age, and given his personality.)
Then he learned to walk. And press buttons. For a while there, internet use when he was awake was unfair to ME - there would be sticky baby fingers all over everything, and lost projects, and strange error screens the likes of which I had never even heard of before.
Now that he's a preschooler, I try to set aside certain times for him - right when he gets home from daycare, for example, and DH and I split up the pre-bedtime routine so there's some room in it for each of us to slack off while the other focuses on the kid. We try to involve him in the things we're doing when we can (setting the table, cleaning up). He's pretty young and our success is mixed. On weekends, we do certain things with him (playground! beach!), but we do also encourage independent play. DS is quite capable of demanding that we entertain him non-stop, but he has way more energy than we do, and we're not capable of doing it. Sometimes, in order to recharge, we need to slack off and tune out for a little bit.
Also, for the times when I badly need to entertain a small boy and just cannot move myself, I have a collection of bookmarked YouTube videos - Really Cute Kitten, Red Bull Helicopter Does Backflips, and Cat vs. RC Helicopter will keep my son entertained for as long as I can stand them. It's like the stash of treats in my purse (used when I realize at, say, the grocery store that he REALLY did not eat or nap enough) - a small indulgence that can get us through a rough spot.
I feel like that a lot even before I had a baby. Why, but then it's no different from the hours and hours I used to spend on the phone talking to my friends. This is the new hour long phone call.
I am on when he's asleep or playing with dad or busy doing something that he doesn't need me for, like playing with his trucks.
Usually he's asleep or nursing if I'm on - the nursing part is probably a bad habit but I started back when he was little and would nurse forever! Sometimes I'm on when he's awake but hanging out with DH - usually that means I'm supposed to be working.
I spend way too much time online in general I think. At least I don't really watch TV...
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yes, seriously. have you not had a moment where you wondered if you were doing right by your LO? AP or not? that's all i'm getting at.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
Yes, seriously. There are a lot of moms who are on here all day long. Some of them are at work, but some are at home. Sometimes I am guilty of it and I know I am not meeting all the needs of my child. I know there are other moms on here WAY more than I am, so I wonder WTF some of their kids are doing.
Whoever above does the "only while baby is sleeping" approach, I think I might try and adopt that one. I think it will be worth it. I think the 5 hours I am awake at night while he is sleeping is enough internet time for me.
During the weekdays, I'm on at work and after DD goes to bed.
On the weekends I'm on if she's asleep or playing by herself. At this age, it's pretty common for her to tell me, "No, go. I play" if I sit down and "bother" her while she's playing with blocks or books something. That's fine with me. I'm big on interaction but I think that her exerting her independence is sorta the flip side of AP, you know?
When she was younger, I was on much less on the weekends.
I don't think anyone is saying that it's bad for LO to have some alone time, etc. every now and then, but I do think that the internet has an addictive quality that at least has the possibility of taking away from some otherwise one on one time with the kids.
All in all, being online doesn't keep me from my kids. Most of my time spent catching up on emails, etc., is while they are napping or nursing. But I have caught myself, at times, using the internet as a quick escape. Like when I've had a long day and am frustrated with my DD's whining, I'll catch myself wandering to the computer, just to surf and tune everything out. I'm not sure if that's healthy or not. Also, the handful of times when the internet has been down or computer not working, I find myslef having to be more creative with the time I spend with my kids. That, I think is a sign that it shouldn't be such a quick go-to spot for me. So I try to limit it to naps.
This exactly! When I am at work, I only use the internet to check email or look something up quickly. During the week I will go on after DS is in bed and on the weekends I will come on when he is napping. Honestly, part of this is it is just a pain in the butt to be on the computer when DS is awake. Even if he is playing by himself he will see me on the computer and run over to check it out. And, like PP stated, I will have sticky keyboard keys and oh yes, the error messages. Not saying that I don't do stuff "for myself" or around the house when DS is awake, but usually I try to do activities that he can be involved with or it won't become more work for me. For example, DS loves the vacuum, so I will vacuum and he will chase me around. Also, not trying to sound rude, but since I work full-time I try to enjoy all the time I have with DS on the weekends. Would I like to be surfing the net or doing other activities that I enjoy, of course....but priorities in my life have changed.