Pennsylvania Babies
Anyone suffer from PPD?
I'm thinking that I may have postpartum depression. I expected the baby blues however it is not going away and I can't stop crying all the time. I have a nervous/anxious feeling constantly and I'm not eating much of anything anymore. I panic when I am here alone with Keaton and miss my DH like crazy. I feel like I have no motivation and sit on the couch all day long. I really feel guilty because I miss my "freedom" to do what I want when I want....then I look at Keaton's little face and I start to cry because I feel bad for feeling that way. My DH thinks I am definitely having issues (he works in the mental health field) but I'm struggling to make that call to get help. I know that it is important for me and my baby to get the help I need but I've always been a strong woman and feel like I can fix this myself...however it is getting pretty bad. Anyway, now that you all think I am a bad mother, anyone have any experience in this? Thanks!
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Re: Anyone suffer from PPD?
Hi Lesli, just wanted to send you some hugs and let you know that I'm thinking of you! You are in NO way a bad mother. PPD can/could effect any of us and you're doing the right thing by speaking up.
While I don't have any information on PPD, I think that you should call your doctor. Regardless if its PPD or just the baby blues, it sounds like you're recognizing that you just don't feel right. Asking for help will only help things get better.
Good luck and Keaton is lucky to have you as a mom!
No one will think you are a bad mother. PPD can happen to anyone, and the fact that you and your husband are aware that there is a problem and are ready to deal with it is a huge step.
Have you had your six week check-up? They will go over it with you there, when you arrive they give you a questionaire to fill out and then they go over it with you during the actual appointment. They pretty much repeat all the questions just to see how you answer. They can help you determine what the best course of action is.
I hope you start feeling better soon <<hugs>>
I have PPD and am still on medication for it. I was the same way... I would just cry. ALL. THE. TIME. I felt horrible about myself and there was no part of me that was happy to be a mom... I would see my beautiful children and not want to change a diaper. I did do everything but I was more going through the motions than doing it because I loved doing it. I finally decided that I needed help and talked to my doctor. She prescribed Celexa and recommended therapy. The therapy did not work out because we would have to pay out of pocket and I just did not have the time. It really seemed to help. I wish I had gotten help sooner because I feel like I missed out on some of the good times when they were younger. I am thinking of going off the meds soon, I have to set up an appointment with the doctor to discuss it.
If you have any specific questions let me know... my e-mail is all screwy right now so if you don't want to post it on here just send me a PM.
Best wishes to you! I would talk to someone, it can be so much easier!
Lesli, we'd NEVER think you're a bad mother. Know that we're all here and will support you in any way we can. That being said, please talk to your doctor.
(((HUGS)))
Aw, Lesli you aren't alone. It is such a HUGE adjustment becoming a mother. It's fantastic but all of a sudden you lose this big part of yourself and your life now revolves around this whole tiny person who depends on you for everything. Honestly I am starting to wonder if I am suffering from delayed ppd since I cry almost every day lately.
You should definitely talk to your doctor and you know how to get in touch with me if you need me!!!!
Lesli,
I know exactly where you are coming from. I was there once too. I was diagnosed with PPD around 8 weeks after giving birth to DD. I absolutely knew what was wrong and I was perfectly aware that the feelings I had were not the "real" me. Only difference was that I desperately wanted the help, i.e., medication, etc. I turned to my family doctor (the OB missed the diagnosis even though I cried at the doctor for an hour at my 6-week checkup). My family doctor (a man, no less) promptly started me on antidepressants and within a few weeks I began to deal much better with things.
You are not a bad mother and what you are feeling is normal in some cases. For me, I had very negative feelings toward my baby, but by no means did it change the way I took care of her. I just resented the way she changed my life...but it all had to do with hormone changes, etc. My DH didn't help matters either...but it sounds like yours is very supportive.
Feel free to email if you want to talk any further. Sometimes it just helps to sound off to someone who truly understands. holly9599@comcast.net
Things will get better. Don't feel ashamed of how you feel. Getting help will be the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself.
Lesli - I think you are being a wonderful mother by listening to your DH and your own gut on this. Becoming a mother is a huge adjustment and I always felt like I was supposed to "love" it more. I'm still terrified of doing the first year over again with another...I wish I could just get another one that is 14 months or so without all the demands and sleep deprivation!
I pray for you for the courage to talk to your doctor even though it is hard to admit your fears.
Banbear- PPD can happen and be expected any time in the first year or so!
TTC since Jan 07. Dx with PCOS Jan 08
Everyone gave great suggestions and advice!
Having a baby is a life-changing event, there's no doubt about that. It takes a full nine months to even get ready for the baby to come, and then wah-la...he's here and rarely is it ever what you anticipated the nine months prior. There's a LONG adjustment time.
I think we're most underprepared for the overwhelming feelings of guilt. You feel guilty because you put him down, because he's crying, because he's sleeping and you didn't spend enough waking hours with him, because you want time for yourself, because you let a diaper on too long, because you're not spending enough time with your husband, because your house is a mess...I could go on and on!
Talk to your doctor at your appointment and definitely keep your husband aware of your feelings. I found setting small daily goals for myself kept me sane and gave me a sense of accomplishment, which helped with my blues.
The fact that you're recognizing these feelings alone makes you a great mom!
Hang in there girl! I def. think you should talk to your doctor too. There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it.
My heart is breaking hearing what a struggle you're having:( Especially because I can completely sympathize with you and it's SO hard. I had a much more difficult time after I had Nick than I did with Amelia and making that call to the doctor was the best decision I've made. I still beat myself up for being on medication, but it's made me a much better mom - especially in the daily stuff like keeping up with housework and cooking, etc. so that I don't feel so completely overwhelmed and frustrated and I can enjoy my kids so much more. I still struggle on a daily basis, but it's so so so much better than it was.
Definitely another vote to call your doctor and speak with them. Even if it means a suggestion to even just see a counselor to really talk about your feelings and figure out what's "normal" new parent stuff and what isn't. Having a baby is so hard and it's amazing how much you never could have even imagined that you wind up feeling/experiencing/etc isn't it? You're a wonderful mom and I think that the fact that you're even thinking about all of this just proves that! If you ever want to talk at all - I'd be more than happy to be an ear for you when you need it. It took me a REALLY long time with both kids to get over the anxiety of being alone with them all day and to deal with not having my freedom anymore. I think that's probalby one of the hugest things that so many people feel but never say out loud because of all of the million layers of mom guilt - it's just one more thing that we all think someone else will judge us for:(
Good luck with whatever you decide! This probably sounds weird to say, but if you're not doing it already, try to go out for a walk when it's cool enough for him. It's one of the only things that got me through the anxiety when I thought there was no way I'd make it until DH got home. Even if you just go around the block and even if you do it with tears streaming down your face(I've done that on more than one occasion!) it'll give him something new to see and give you a sense of accomplishment of something for the day!
Big big big hugs to you, too banbear!! I'm definitely still struggling with it on a daily basis, even on medication, 5 months later. I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time, too:(
You are an amazing and selfless mother just because you and your husband are aware and in-tune with what you're experiencing. By recognizing the cues and considering next steps, you're doing the best thing you possibly could for you and your family.
It takes a strong, strong woman to recognize and admit when something may be wrong. Sounds like you're that woman to me.
Best of luck in whatever you two decide. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, as will the rest of you ladies who have dealt with PPD and the baby blues.