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Infertility
susan1017
member
Cant tell my mom if we do IVF
susan1017
member
in Infertility
We have decided that if the next IUI cycle is not sucessful we are telling my parents that we are choosing not to continue trying.
We have been doing tons of research and have decided to go outside the U.S. to do IVF. We are totally OOP for IVF and doing it domestically gives only one shot finacially. Going abroad lets us try 2-3 times if neccessary. My mom would not understand AT ALL. She would freak the hell out and not get that we did a very stringent vetting process and got all the stats and info before hand.
It kind of makes me sad that I cant share this with her. I am learning through my IF journey that she is pretty limited in what she can grasp with this process. Making it sadder is that she went through secondary IF too and it took her 5 years to have me! She refused to acknowledge that she had and IF problem, only that it took her a long time and thyroid meds (which she doesnt see as related...she can be really dense when she wants to be.)
If the IVF works we will be like.."We went on vacation and came home PG"...She would totally eat up it because she has told me on more than one occasion that she thinks I will get pg if I relax and stop with all the medical intervention. Makes me sad but for my own sanity and to spare her the worry we are keeping under wraps.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Cant tell my mom if we do IVF
I'm sorry, that is really unfortunate. I think it is hard for the previous generation to comprehend a lot about ART, because it is so different from what they're familiar with and how things were when they were young and having kids. Well it is hard for anyone who didn't go through ART to understand it. But I'm sorry that you can't share this with your mom.
Good luck with your "vacation miracle!"
IVF#1 gave us a BFP on 8/24/09, DD born May 2010
Surprise, natural BFP July 2012 ended in miscarriage 9/4/12 at 10w4d
FET#1 January 2013
Sorry that you can't share your decision with your mother. Do you think she'll have a problem with the IVF or IVF abroad?
She would have a problem with IVF abroad. Mt sister is currently pg via IVF and she seemed ok with that...but this is my sister's first child. I dont think she gets that you can have one but not another without help. My other sister had her first at 41 so that is not helping my ART cause any either. :-(
My mom is a great lady but I am realizing that as she is getting older, more things stress her out and not telling her is more about not causing her undo stress then not being supportive. Although she could take a few lessons in that department as well. :-)
Where have you been looking? We are between Barbados and the Czech Republic. They sounded like such odd choices to start but the more I research, the better they are looking!
Good luck to you!
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
my parents are very traditional (Indian)...they have kind of poo - poohed IVF when I brought it up - basically disapproved - saying that where they come from people who can't have kids don't have them...
i am wondering if I do IVF if I will tell them - in the end it won't change my decision if they express disapproval - it will only stress me out - that is the last thing I need - plus when the grandkids are here will it make a difference how they came about?
I have to keep reminding myself that how we conceive our children is between DH and me and is no one else's business....