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Ladies...i need your help

hopeful34hopeful34 member
in Infertility

For those of you who have pregnant co-workers how do you deal? I am sinking into a depression. My last & final iui didn't work and now we are on a forced break to save for IVF. I am soon to be 36 yrs old and the co-worker is 29 has 2 kids already and was going to abort this one but then decided not to.

I can't listen to her everyday....she sits right next to me. I have withdrawn from everyone at work and now everyones asking questions and for me it makes it worse.

Please help...how do you deal with this? I can't go on like this for the next 6 mos and i'm sure it's going to get worse from here.

Thanks... 

 

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Re: Ladies...i need your help

  • ashlyroseashlyrose

    I'm going through the EXACT same thing. My co-worker sits next to me too. She is just a couple years older than me but has a 11yr girl. First it went from not wanting to get married & then she did & then not wanting children but he did so they got pregnant & I work in an office that everyone knows her. She is currently off on her leave but everyone always asks & it just bites a nerve everytime. It's only going to be worse when she comes back. It if VERY hard to deal.

    I had a m/c before she even got preg. so she knew we were ttc & as the diag kept coming & I had to leave for appts, I just told her what is going on. I find that to be a lot easier that the girls in my office know (only 3 total that I work with) because they will understand everytime I cry about a loss or another problem. I get asked too "do you have kids" by the cleaning ladies & other pt's here & I say "nope, not yet". I found it easier to tell ppl that "we just have a few things to work out". They will get the hint hopefully.

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  • gringa78gringa78

    Oh, honey I'm so sorry about your BFN.  I've been looking for you around here lately and thinking about you.

    I wish I had some good advice for you...I'm wondering if you just tell her outright that you're struggling and you would appreciate it if she kept the baby talk to a minimum.  Sometimes when people are aware, they shift their behavior.

    Hang in there.  ((HUGS))

    PCOS, lupus anticoagulant, MTHFR (A1298C, one copy) 2 IUIs & 1 IVF = BFN FET#1 = It's a girl! Born 7.1.10 FET#2 = c/p FET#3 = Twin girls! Born on 3.16.12 at 33w2d due to severe pre-E. After 4 weeks in the NICU they are home! Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
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  • Dragonfly1226Dragonfly1226 member
    I wish I had some words of advice that would make it easier. Truth is, it sucks! It's not easy. I'm sending you (((((hugshugs))))).
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    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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    TTC #2
    After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!

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    Surprise! Baby #4 is due in March!
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  • hopeful34hopeful34 member

    Ladies...she knows about my IF struggles....that's the hard part. She has no sensitivity filter at all....I just don't know how to deal with it anymore. It's killing me inside...

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  • ashlyroseashlyrose
    Can you move away from her? IF sucks in general & to have to be faced with it at work everyday makes it harder. I'm sorry.
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  • yodasmistressyodasmistress member
    I have two coworkers who are both due in two weeks.  One of them had her baby shower the Satruday I started bleeding after my first IVF.  Needless to say,  could not force myself to go. The last 9 months has been HARD.  Seeing their bellies grow.  Seing them going to lunch together (they weren't friends before the shared bond of pregnancy).  Seeing them giggling and planning nurseries together.  Seeing them rub their bellies at the copier... or worse when one of them is standing in my office at my desk, with their belly literally at my eye level.  One of them one time even came in and pulled her shirt up to show me the baby moving - called it "alien baby".  I almost died.  Before I was in this situation, I read about others who were and literally couldn't understand how they did not go insane.  But the truth is, you just do what you have to do.  It isn't easy and it isn't fun... but you survive.  ((HUGS))
     
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  • Angel1122Angel1122 member
    I'm sorry, some people can be very insensitive at times. ::hugs::
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  • DC+PittsburghBrideDC+PittsburghBride

    yes this all makes me sad for us.

    Here is my story of the week.  One of my co-workers is getting married in a few weeks.  There are four of us that are young and female in the office so I suggested we plan a night out to celebrate.  Well two of the four of us have had young kids in the past two years (not me, not the girl getting married).  One of the moms replies and says why don't we combine this with an opportunity to see my daughter, so lets have a picnic with the kids instead.  GAG me!  I'm so pissed and REALLY not wanting to do that.  I thought about replying and saying no thanks, but how do you tell people it is painful to be around their kids???

    That is one thing I HATE about IF...it has made me not want to share and be with people.  It has made me not want to be around babies...what a horrible thing.....But it is the truth of what I am (and we) are going through.

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