Community› The Bump Message Boards› Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New Discussion

pretty mad at DH

loveisforeverloveisforever
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
today's bleeding is much worse. I called Dr. thinking we knew this was going to happen and I thought he would say to just wait till next week and then we can make sure everything was taken care of. He told me I needed to come in today and no later. I informed them I had my son and they told me I needed to come so bring him with me. I told DH how stressed I was going to be. He asked if I was in any pain and I told him light cramping in the front but my back really hurts. He asked me if I could take him to daycare for an hour. Umm not unless we want to pay $80 for the day. He basically said he hope DS would do good. He is NEVER out of work and he is always there before he has to be so his work would not get mad if he needed to leave and he only works 10 min. from the house so he wouldn't even need to leave that early. Never once did he offer to leave work and take care of DS for me to go. I am just pissed right now. He has no clue what this feels like. I stand up and have to run and change pads, I have to go to the dr. and DS (who is almost 2 and not an infant who would just sleep) will prob. scream b/c he won't want to be in the stroller and deal with everything BY MYSELF. This almost made me want to walk out. I know his problem is he feels he would have to explain to work what is going on. Uh no, just tell everyone I wasn't feeling well and had to run to the dr. UGHHHHH
Report Reply to Post

Re: pretty mad at DH

  • MarriedandlovingitMarriedandlovingit member
    I'm sorry you are going thru that. Men handle things very differently than we do. Maybe you could ask him to take off work. Sometimes, they need to be prompted to do what you need them to do.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Blighted Ovum 7/2008 (D&C)
    Ectopic 7/2009 (Emergency surgery:removal of left tube)
    Blighted Ovum 1/2010 (Natural m/c)
    DS #1: 2/7/11
    Ectopic 2/2012
    BFP: 12/24/2013
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • smileychic10986smileychic10986
    I'm sorry you are going through this right now, and not having the support you need from your DH.  Like pp said, maybe you just have to tell him you need him to come home, it's too hard on you and you are going through so much as it is.  I'm sorry...  :(  Men sometimes just don't get it.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • lax15bsulax15bsu member
    Ditto pp. Def talk to your dh and tell him you can't handle all of this alone. I'm so sorry you're going through this without much suppoirt. Just know all of us here are always here for you.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • vkbaby09vkbaby09
    I'm sorry that your DH is being like that, but like pp said, sometimes you have to spell it out for them.  Did you ever ask him to come home today?  If not, I really think you should.  You're under enough stress with the m/c that anything further isn't fair.  My thoughts are with you.
    Report Reply
  • loveisforeverloveisforever

    I was in a hurry to type this b/c DH was walking in the door for lunch (he always comes home for lunch). Sorry about all the grammar and spelling errors. 

    DH knew I was not happy. I pretty much ignored him and cleaned the house and started to get snack ready and DS bag ready so we could leave when he wakes up. I prob. went 10 min. answering yes and no to questions then he finally asked me if I need him to watch DS. I hate sympathy help and then went off on him. I think some of this has to do with my DH just doesn't think of others and that really bothers me. He has never been the type to stop and think hmm what can I do to make anyone feel much better today. We were at church last night when a neighbor was talking how they had cookies and cake left over from the other night that we could have b/c they were really good. They asked if DH could come and let their dog out and said for us to take some b/c they had to much. DH went over there to let their dog out and ate a cookie and a piece of the cake and came back home and didn't bring DS or I a single piece and was talking about how it tasted. Ugh, would have been nice for him to bring us something as the neighbor told him to ahead of time but he didn't. He just doesn't think. I know some men are like this but he NEVER does anything that is not asked of him. After I had DS I never got a card, flowers or anything from him. 

    After I went off on him he is going to come and meet me at the Dr. office and watch DS while I do what needs to be done. This way I don't have to drive there and back with no one in the car and have more thinking time and get more upset. The busier I stay the easier it is.  

    Report Reply
  • loveisforeverloveisforever
    oh and did I mention it is pouring outside. 
    Report Reply
  • Amanda78Amanda78 member

    I'm really glad he's meeting you-but sorry you had to go off on him for it to happen.  Hugs to you.

    BFP 4/23/09. D&E 7/17/09 16W5D. BFP #2 3/10/10. EDD 11/15/10 Babycakes was born 11/5/10! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • KelleyBeanKelleyBean member
    Can you ask him to take DS for the night so you can have some time to just rest and relax? It sounds like he is willing if you tell him exactly what you need. I know it can be very frustrating though. I swear men speak another language than we do.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • TAGoldenTAGolden

    Men just don't get it.  I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, but I'm glad he met you at the hospital to take care of your little boy.

     

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"