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Told my mom (long vent)

BMWwifeBMWwife
in Infertility

My mom is making me crazy. Every time I see her its when am I going to be a grandmother? Oh you look so natural holding Jessica (baby cousin). Your eggs are gathering dust better start using them soon. She knows all about my PCOS since I was Dx at 14. She is an RN and has done a lot of reading on PCOS so she should get it.

So yesterday before my brothers party I decided I would tell her and my brother that we are in fact trying so please lay off. My moms says "Well Duh I figured that out months ago". You did, gee thats funny since I haven't had a period since April so we weren't really trying. She then said that the large bottle of vitamins on my counter 3 months ago tipped her off. They werent even prenatal vitamins. They were crappy gummy vitamins my MIL had put in my Easter basket that I was just getting around to using.

I proceed to tell her about AF MIA and the new Dr I'm seeing. I told her I started on Provera to which she replied "No wonder youve been so crazy the past couple of weeks"... um I'm day 8 of 10 on provera... Im crazy b/c you wont stop with the baby innuendos!! I tell her about the clomid and she says " oh great we can expect a June baby"!! ARE YOU NOT HEARING A SINGLE THING IM SAYING. I then explain to her that I'm keeping my expectations pretty low about the clomid and that PCOSers have a high m/c rate.

Finally I told her I really dont want anyone to know that we are trying b/c I'm afraid its going to be a long road. I dont what to have people staring at me every month trying to figure out if i'm pregnant or not.  To which she replied "I already told Leah (my aunt who is 5 yrs older then me) b/c her and Tommy said they were going to try again soon (they have suffered 2 m/c last one was in july @ 20 wks)". Then she added "Well Ill just keep bugging the crap out of you about when I will become a grandmother and that will keep everyone else at bay" I really hate her logic!!!!!

Sorry that was long but I just wanted to beat my head against the wall by the time we finished talking.

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Re: Told my mom (long vent)

  • ladychicagoladychicago member
    oh gosh.... i would be SO frustrated, too.    i'm sorry!    :-(
    Brought to you by IVF, ICSI, limited fert, and oocyte cryopreservation.
    Because we're fancy like that.

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  • MouseygailMouseygail member

    oh my....  Beer?

    unbelievable...

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  • taraandkyle06taraandkyle06
    imageBMWwife:

    My mom is making me crazy. Every time I see her its when am I going to be a grandmother? Oh you look so natural holding Jessica (baby cousin). Your eggs are gathering dust better start using them soon. She knows all about my PCOS since I was Dx at 14. She is an RN and has done a lot of reading on PCOS so she should get it.

    So yesterday before my brothers party I decided I would tell her and my brother that we are in fact trying so please lay off. My moms says "Well Duh I figured that out months ago". You did, gee thats funny since I haven't had a period since April so we weren't really trying. She then said that the large bottle of vitamins on my counter 3 months ago tipped her off. They werent even prenatal vitamins. They were crappy gummy vitamins my MIL had put in my Easter basket that I was just getting around to using.

    I proceed to tell her about AF MIA and the new Dr I'm seeing. I told her I started on Provera to which she replied "No wonder youve been so crazy the past couple of weeks"... um I'm day 8 of 10 on provera... Im crazy b/c you wont stop with the baby innuendos!! I tell her about the clomid and she says " oh great we can expect a June baby"!! ARE YOU NOT HEARING A SINGLE THING IM SAYING. I then explain to her that I'm keeping my expectations pretty low about the clomid and that PCOSers have a high m/c rate.

    Finally I told her I really dont want anyone to know that we are trying b/c I'm afraid its going to be a long road. I dont what to have people staring at me every month trying to figure out if i'm pregnant or not.  To which she replied "I already told Leah (my aunt who is 5 yrs older then me) b/c her and Tommy said they were going to try again soon (they have suffered 2 m/c last one was in july @ 20 wks)". Then she added "Well Ill just keep bugging the crap out of you about when I will become a grandmother and that will keep everyone else at bay" I really hate her logic!!!!!

    Sorry that was long but I just wanted to beat my head against the wall by the time we finished talking.

    did you tell her to go F herself?  her behavior and antics are totally unnecessary and are completely childish...especially since she is a nurse - what happened to having COMPASSION??  especially with your DAUGHTER??  gosh, i'm so mad for you!

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  • BMWwifeBMWwife
    imageMouseygail:

    oh my....  Beer?

    Oh trust me I drank after that! I have a new favorite beer after last night. Blue Point Blue Berry!  

     

    Thanks Girls! I just wanted to make sure I'm not being over sensitive about that. It really makes me regret telling her.

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  • Peanut1334Peanut1334
    I'm sorry she is not being there for you like she needs too. (((hugs)))
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  • mrs.mastromrs.mastro member

    I'm sorry... why don't Moms understand that they are always supposed to be supportive, not cause us more stress??

     My mom is really hard to talk to about IF stuff too.  She had 4 kids in 5 years, so I get the feeling she thinks this is my fault or something because she obviously gave me fertile genes.  I really don't even want to talk to her about it anymore and I almost wish I'd never told her in the first place.

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  • slizsliz

    my mom is somewhat like this - she is an OB RN - and she does not know anything about infertility because everyone in my family is super fertile...

    she is not supportive of me being on medication though - or IVF - if we go that route I'm not sure what I'll be in for....

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  • slizsliz

    mrs. mastro - yeah my situation exactly - my mom got married pretty late for a traditional indian lady and had me at like 34 and was KO'd with my brother when I was 8 months old...no issues there....she worked the ENTIRE pg both times pretty much...

    here I am, 8 months after a m/c and I can't conceive....and she doesn't get it....like it's my fault...

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  • mrs.mastromrs.mastro member
    imagesliz:

    mrs. mastro - yeah my situation exactly - my mom got married pretty late for a traditional indian lady and had me at like 34 and was KO'd with my brother when I was 8 months old...no issues there....she worked the ENTIRE pg both times pretty much...

    here I am, 8 months after a m/c and I can't conceive....and she doesn't get it....like it's my fault...

    I'm sorry to hear about your loss, and wish you good luck in the future.

    This is what I have to look forward to whenever we are lucky enough to have a baby -- my sister has a 8 week old right now, and throughout her pregnancy my mom was always telling her how easy all of her pregnancies were and now it's all about how easy babies are!  She has no empathy for my sister whatsoever.  She is really driving both of us crazy! 

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