If you have 2+ kids... schedule?
Baby4OT
member
I don't remember exactly when, but I know sometime during DD1's first year of life we developed into a nice schedule with a morning nap, afternoon nap, BFing 6-7x per day at times that were predictable. Now with DD2 I'm having the hardest time. She's actually an easier baby than DD1, but I have DD1's life to deal with too and, as a result, DD2 is in no real routine.
She takes a morning nap only if we're out and about and she falls asleep in the car. Otherwise she falls asleep BFing sometime in the morning and then when I put her down to tend to DD1, she wakes up and that's the end of that nap. After DD1 has lunch and I get her down for her afternoon nap I BF DD2 and she falls asleep again, but only stays asleep is I hold her until she wakes up. I usually try to do that just so she gets some daytime sleep, but I'm quickly losing patience with that because I never have any downtime and I can't get anything done. By the time DD2 is sound asleep for the night it's usually 9 or 10 and I can put her down and she stays asleep. That's when I can finally do chores, have any personal time, shower, etc. As a result, I end up being awake until 1 or 2am and then the whole thing starts over a few hours later. I'm beyond exhausted. She's in no routine and not getting enough naps so she's cranky. I'm at a loss for how to get her into some sort of routine when DD1 occasionally has playdates or (soon) preschool, we have errands to run, etc.
What did you do for your second or subsequent children? I'm desperate!
Re: If you have 2+ kids... schedule?
Our mornings are kind of like yours - DD2 gets no real nap. Generally I hold and jiggle DD2 until she falls asleep and then take her upstairs to nap in some kind of peace and quiet. We get an hour max out of this.
Then I give her a bottle after DD1 goes down for her afternoon nap and get DD2 to nap then. I either hold her and get a nap myself or put her down already asleep in the swing. That usually gets a 2-3 hour nap.
However the big difference for us seems to be in bedtime. DD2 is asleep by 7PM each night at the latest. She generally sleeps until betwen midnight and 3AM, wakes up to eat and goes back to sleep until 5 or 6 AM. She will sometimes wake up at other times and need to be rocked back to sleep but generally she is OK in her crib. DD1 is in bed no later than 8PM and usually by 7:30PM. This gives me some small amount of time to cook, eat dinner, get ready for the next day and maybe do a chore or two before getting to bed by 10 (I wish it was 9 but that never happens).
The all me part makes it a lot tougher. DH and I tag team at night to get them both in bed and everything ready for the next day. I would be up super late too if he wasn't giving DD1 her bath and bedtime routine, making bottles and everyone's lunches for the next day.
Can you come up with things DH can do that don't require lifting - like bring him the laundry to fold while he sits on the couch. Have him watch DD1 while you try and get DD2 settled for a nap - if she is 6mo old you can always try Ferber if you are against CIO. He can make lunches for the next day if you bring him the ingredients (if he can't stand either due to the injury). I know it may seem easiest for you just to do it but it could help a little if you drop things off for him to work on while you do other things.Can any family come and visit to help out for a little while?
Also, there is a lot of crying in our house. DD1 cries because i am holding the baby (and usually wakes her up). DD2 cries because I am trying to get DD1 settled for lunch, etc so that I can attend to DD2. I try to minimize it but there is still a lot of crying when I am taking care of both by myself.
Oh dear, that sounds so hard, with your DH not able to help and everything. I don't know how SAHM's do it.
Anyway, when DH is traveling, and I'm alone with the kids on a weekend, our schedule is pretty good. #2 wakes up around 6:30, #1 wakes up around 7:00. I give #1 her breakfast and give #2 her bottle.
#2 goes down for her big nap for the day around two hours after waking up, so let's say 8:00 or 8:30. She'll stay down around 2 hours, which gives me time with #1.
Around 12:30 or 1:00 I TRY to get them both to nap at the same time, sometimes it works! That's when I try to get lunch for myself and some relaxation time.
#2 will usually wake up from that nap first, so I'll hang out with her for a while.
Later, around 5:00 or 5:30, #2 will take her third and shortest nap for the day, just enough time for me to feed #1 dinner. Or at least get it prepared/cooked (yes, sometimes I resort to Stouffers frozen dinners at this point)
After #1's dinner, I start the baths and bedtime routines. #2 goes to bed around 7:00, #1 7:30 or 8:00.
8:00 - mommy eats dinner and I'm so exhausted I usually just watch TV after that - fold laundry, pay bills, whatever.