Please discuss....(also clicky poll)

JenyM · August 2009

My friend and I were discussing this topic. It took her 18 months to conceive her first, 2 rounds of clomid/ iui and finally injectables/iui that did it. I have gotten pregnant relatively easy but misscarried each time.

She says she would almost rather get pregnant and m/c so she knows her body is "working" Indifferent . I feel like either way it sucks. What's the point of getting pregnant if you still don't have a baby?? There are treatments for TTC no treatment to prevent a m/c when all your tests are normal.

meh I can almost handle taking one m/c for the team (cause they are so common blah blah blah). but, recurrent ones are ridiculous. I'd rather get AF instead of sufferring another loss.

[Poll]

katie9136 · August 2009

i picked the third one.

LC0479 · August 2009

I picked the third too..i know first hand m/c sucks and I know so many people who have tried forever to get pregnant and it doesnt happen and it just wears them down...so, imo, both suck!

Temp356619000002780 · August 2009

They both suck, but u need to remember those who have never been pregnant don't understand where we are coming from. It's so hard to deal with the loss of a pregnancy in comparison to never being pregnant! Every time you get a BFP u can't even relax and be excited like most people, you're too busy worrying and wondering when this one will be taken away yet again!

heathergirl67 · August 2009

That's what I've never understood about when people say, "At least you know you can get pregnant!" Okay... but if I can't stay pregnant then why would it matter? I'd rather know I can stay pregnant because, like you said, there are lots of things you can do to help you get pregnant.

Can't Wait To Be A Mama · August 2009

I have had several friends who had TTTC say "At least you can get pg." But really they don't know the pain of loosing, I would think, to me at least, that is worse. Regardless I wouldn't wish either on anyone.

Jacquiemark · August 2009

They both truly suck.

lil_rhody · August 2009

I think TTTC would be easier for me to accept. DH and I had discussed that as a possibility previously and what we would do. We never expected to get pg easily and then miscarry repeatedly. It's a whole other ballgame emotionally for me.

Ehoff33 · August 2009

I picked the third one...I felt so quilty today because I woke up thinking..god I would be ovulating right now if I wasnt pregnant and had a m/c last month...thats horrible! I feel so quilty thinking man I wish I just didnt get pregnant and went through everything and would just have to wait a few more months to get a BFP!

Anyone else feel like this sometimes??

PeetiePie · August 2009

Um, the third one was my choice. I've only experienced one m/c and it blowed. I can't imagine TTTC is any better.

cour10e · August 2009

They both truly blow in different ways. At first I got pg twice in three months and m/c shortly after each time...which sucked. Now I have done 9 months of temping, peeing on things, charting CM, being on meds, having follie u/s, you name it, without another pregnancy...also really sucks.

ColindaP · August 2009

I think they both suck, but I think repeated mc's are suck worse than TTTC. Like you said, there are treatments to up the odds of conceiving, but not to prevent a mc. Also, I wonder if maybe it has to do with the fact that we've all surely thought about not being able to get pg, because it gets lots of media attention, etc, whereas miscarriage does not. Honestly, till it happened to me, it never even occurred to me to be afraid that I'd have repeat mc's. It was not even in my concept of reality, whereas having trouble getting KU was.

lil_rhody · August 2009

Hmm, I wonder what the results would be like if you posted this on TTTC.

Also, I know they both suck, but I kind of feel like that answer is a cop-out. (Sorry gals.)

1stTimeMommy2Be · August 2009

i'm not sure about all the ranking of which is worse.. i think that TTTC (not after a loss) would very much suck; however, the lack of a the act of losing a child you have already made is a completely different ballgame... aka m/c... i gotta imagine that TTTC after a very long time is just a completely DIFFERENT kind of pain... i think for me though... i'd prefer to have TTTC... the loss of a child that should have been is harder on me that i think not being able to conceive on my own would be... at least it would be an accept and move on kind of thing rather than continuous disappointment

jen-dale · August 2009

I picked the third one too. I can see your friend's side too, but I think both scenarios suck equally.

If you TTC forever and think your body doesnt work it is devastating. Yes they can usually treat it but the cost is so incredible and still no guarantees that they will work

If you continually m/c then you still think your body isnt working and it is devastating. Yes they can test and maybe find something wrong...again cost can be incredible and there is no guarantee.

I think the only difference here is really once you get a BFP. Those of us that continually mc will spend the next long months in agony obsessing over every twinge and inspecting every piece of TP that comes in contact with our vajayjay. I dont think those TTTC would be in the same position at that point.

almnole · August 2009

All three suck for sure. But I prefer to get an AF rather then a BFP and a MC...I have found that the only people that truly understand are the people that have experienced it....

yogisunam · August 2009

This poll sucks.

smilee · August 2009

Coming from the place of it taking a team full of Drs to get me PG

and miscarrying every time I do...

I vote for #3

I_am_DCA · August 2009

They both suck - there is no question.

krissyh21 · August 2009

I don't think there should be a comparison - hurt is hurt, unless you are there and experiencing it you do not know how much it sucks. Why must there be a pain olympics.

What I would really prefer is noone need to go through m/c or t-ttc to get what they desire, a healthy little baby in their arms.

beadgirl2 · August 2009

I picked 3, They both suck. And when you have them both together, they make each other suck even more.

I guess the question is, do you like to take the pain in concentrated form or would your rather add some water and have it drag out through the years? Or perhaps you'd like both? Either way it's pain, it sucks, and you can't pick which way it happens to you.

*Willis* · August 2009

I didn't vote, but they both suck, in different ways. It's a real kick in the gut to need significant medical intervention to even get pregnant, and then m/c. Twice.

candycane3t · August 2009

I think they both suck

grr_aargh · August 2009

I think they both suck, badly.

Badly.

redshoegirl · August 2009

mari2003:
They both suck, but u need to remember those who have never been pregnant don't understand where we are coming from. It's so hard to deal with the loss of a pregnancy in comparison to never being pregnant! Every time you get a BFP u can't even relax and be excited like most people, you're too busy worrying and wondering when this one will be taken away yet again!

This is why I voted for #2. They both definitely suck - but I'd rather have trouble and get a sticky baby in the end.

LCB34 · August 2009

beadgirl2:

I picked 3, They both suck. And when you have them both together, they make each other suck even more.

This. I am coming over from TTTC and it kind of upsets me that a quiz like this is even here. I don't get why women are constantly trying to play the pain Olympics. It sucks to m/c, it sucks to have trouble TTC, and it sucks to have the two put together. But I don't understand how someone can say that one of those options is "easier".

shipoopiisforme · August 2009

LCB34:
beadgirl2:

I picked 3, They both suck. And when you have them both together, they make each other suck even more.

This. I am coming over from TTTC and it kind of upsets me that a quiz like this is even here. I don't get why women are constantly trying to play the pain Olympics. It sucks to m/c, it sucks to have trouble TTC, and it sucks to have the two put together. But I don't understand how someone can say that one of those options is "easier".

as someone who has dealt with both, i couldn't agree more. the pain of m/c is terrible. but i don't think it is better or worse than the pain of having tttc. and to say the pain of tttc is "watered down over a long period of time" is complete and utter bs. every month you deal with the pain that you can't do what seems to come naturally to everyone around you. and not only do you have to make a huge time commitment to whatever medical regimen your dr and you decided is best, you then have to fight with health insurance to get what is owed to you, that's if your lucky and don't have to pay for these incredibly costly treatments out of pocket.

the grass isn't greener on either side of this fence. no one's "tragedy" is better or worse than any one else's. the sad reality is that many of us who have tttc are statistically at a higer risk for m/c, and many of us have suffered them. so we have to jump through hoops for our bfp and then be scared, just like you.

islelily · August 2009

I picked the third option. I've dealt with both. I'd want neither of them as they both are painful.

For TTTC it is difficult to hear other women talk about how they're planning out their babies. I've had a few friends say that they decided to try X month, because Y and Z months wouldn't be the best fot them, and TADA, they're pregnant. I think that is the frustration behind the phrase of "at least you can get pregnant".

Of course it is just as scary to have m/cs and always fear if this current/next pregnancy will end up the same.

So I don't think you can compare them against each other. Its like comparing apples to oranges. Yes, they're both fruit, but they're not the same kind!

katerena · August 2009

islelily:

So I don't think you can compare them against each other. Its like comparing apples to oranges. Yes, they're both fruit, but they're not the same kind!

THIS!!! Totally.

Want a personalized experience?

Please discuss....(also clicky poll)

Re: Please discuss....(also clicky poll)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards