talk me down ladies....
I know some of you know my backstory. (reasons why I call spermdonor the spermdonor) He has not called to talk to DS in OVER 2 YEARS. We even go to a neutral exchange site to exchange him. He does his visitation with him and that is it. Some of the times he isn't even there. He doesn't have anything to do with school ever. Even told DS once that if he ever lived with him, he would never have to go to school again.
This afternoon we got home from the ice cream social at the school, (starts tomorrow) I checked the caller ID and low and behold he called. He didn't leave a message and hasn't called back yet. Why, oh why is this bothering me so much? I keep looking out my windows to see if he drives by. I just know because it is in not in DS's normal routine, it is going to throw him off. I will let him talk to him if he calls back, last time he spoke with him, (over 2 years ago) I had it on speaker phone and he was telling DS how we don't take care of him and he better be careful. (this coming from a guy who almost shook him to death) Ok, i'm done.
Re: talk me down ladies....
I don't know your backstory, but I'd be concerned about the random drive-by. What if DS had been outside & seen him? Was he planning on stopping to talk?
I think you are wise to be cautious, and the speaker phone is a good idea. I hope he just called to wish DS a good first day of school and leave it at that.
Take a deep breath - maybe he won't call back.
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With school starting tomorrow I would not let him talk to him. Like you said it will throw your DS off his routine, and he does not need that the day before school.
Honestly, unless there is another family member who is in need of being able to contact you at all times, then I would take the phone off the hook. That will be the best way to take control of the situation.
I am sorry he is such a horsesass.
Aw hun I feel for you SO much. It's so much to deal with but you are so strong for your little man.
I must say though that reading your posts gives me a little bit of insight to the hell my dad must have endured. My BM was the crazy unstable abusive one. When we were at her house I would literally prop a chair against my bedroom door in case she went crazy during the night.
However, in the end I can tell you that the kids really do understand the reality of life. Your sweet DS will soon grow more disdain towards the spermdonor, as you quietly enjoy the revelations as a neutral party knowing that you will triumph in the end.
knmommy - Take a deep breath. I'm with xmary on this - if he wanted to call back he could have. Don't dwell on this any longer or you'll make yourself sick over this.
I know this guy is a deadbeat but if he starts to come around and wants to be there more for DS you should be happy about that.
That being said, if the guy is a threat to your DS's safety then thats a separate issue and he shouldn't have visitation at all. Its hard when the BM or BD pops back up and wants to be there because you know that in the past they havent been reliable...sometimes them being around more now can just mean more pain in your kids' future...we're dealing with the same thing. Sorry you have that stress.
Luckyangle-he has always "been" around, he just doesn't call. He keeps his visitation for control issues and because his daddy makes him. He is emotionally abusive and still is toward DS. Won't go into details. No he should not have any visitation, however, the court system sucks! He is an indicated child abuser. Ok, so now I'm going again!
Anyhow thanks for the support to everyone. I am already worried about him calling today, can't let my self worry about it. It will make me sick!