Holy hell!!!
So, back in May DH asked if a friend of his could stay with us for a little bit. I said sure, as I was under the impression this friend was coming to TX for a short visit. It turns out he moved here (from MD) and DH told him he could stay with us until he found a place. I was a little annoyed, but thought whatever...I'm sure he'll be able to find an apt quickly.
Well that was 3 months ago and he is still here! I am livid! I won't even go into how I think he is a horrible roommate (a small sample: he leaves his dirty q-tips on my coffee table), but my real concern is that he is in the baby's room. I have asked him again and again when he is going to move out, and he keeps telling me he is "trying".
At the beginning of Aug. I finally gave him a Sept. 1st deadline to be out because I wanted him to know I was serious. I told him that we really needed to get the baby's room ready and that I'm in my 3rd trimester now and would really like some private time with DH during these last few months. He said he understood and that he knew he had overstayed his welcome, so I was hopeful.
Since then I have seen absolutely no effort from him to find a place. (He also doesn't have his own car, so he relies on DH and I 100% for transportation. This is how I know he has not gone to look at apts). DH told me yesterday that they were going to go look at places during their lunch break today, but this morning this roommate decided he is "sick" and is not going to work (this is his 3rd sick day in 2 weeks, if he really is that sick I'm going to have to do a thorough cleansing of that room).
Does he really think he can find a place and move in, in less than a week? OMG!!! Please help me, what should I do?
Re: Vent- I'm going to lose it! (Long)
You are a much nicer person than I am, haha. For me, dirty q-tips on the coffee table = GTFO of my house. lol
The answer to your question as to what you should do is - stick to it!! Get your DH behind you and enforce his Sept. 1st deadline, no matter what. You deserve time to get your baby's room ready and the two of you have been generous enough to him.
I would be all over DH's ass until this guy was out of my life
And yeah, it sounds like the only way this dude is leaving is if his shiit is on the front lawn. (Who would want to move away from a place to live, a maid - aka you - and a chauffeur service??)
This 100%. ?You need to talk to your DH and he needs to tell his friend that he has to go. ?You've put him up for months and it's time for him to get out. You need to prepare for baby and not have an unwelcome visitor still there!
He'll probably listen to DH more if DH seriously sets him down and says he has to get out. For all you know, DH could be undermining you and just saying that it'll all be ok until he finds a place, kwim? ?Not in a mean way, just I can see DH doing that. ?"Oh she'll be ok, I'll talk to her, blahblahblah"
Good Luck! ?
That is BULL SH*T!!! ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am fuming for u!!
That is so gross about the q-tips... I mean.. get a clue dude. Has he even helped u financially for staying there? Talk to DH and let him know that a FIRM GTFO date needs to be set!! He is now taking advantage and obviously does not respect either of you.
The guy kind of sounds like a mooch. If he moves out how is he going to get to and from work? I'm sure that's a big thing keeping him at your place. Does he even have money to move anywhere? Once you get a deposit and first months rent in there moving gets pretty pricey. I wouldn't have the heart to kick someone out of my house, but something's got to happen if he's in your baby's room. Is there anyone else in the area who he could possibly stay with?
Where I live we have these free little booklets at places like Hy-Vee that list all the apartments in the area. Do you have anything like this that you could toss at him so even if he doesn't have a car to get around he could at least be calling the apartments and seeing which ones he likes and can afford.
GL! This is def not a situation I would want to be in!
Thanks! Yeah, he is paying rent, but I'd much prefer him out than have the money.
I guess yall are right. I need to talk to DH, its just hard because DH is an introvert and has a real hard time with confrontation and being assertive. (He loves to compare me to Carrie from 'King of Queens' because I'm the one who stands up for us if there is a problem). But at this point, I don't know what else I can do.
Thanks for your advice.
THIS!!!!!
Seems like a simple solution to me. If he's not out by Sept. 1, put his stuff on the lawn and change the locks.
If your DH has an issue with it because he is his friend, please make it clear that real friends do not mooch and impose on others like he has.
Zach Rance 4 President
I agree with this - I was going to suggest moving ALL his stuff into a laundry room or closet or something and tell him he has to sleep on the couch because you're painting LO's room and then start setting up the baby stuff.
And the suggestion about bombarding him with rental information is good - or instead of having it be lunchtime when he and DH go look at apartments make it EVERY NIGHT after dinner. You can give them a list of 5 places to see every day and make the appointments for them if you have to - maybe go along to make sure they see them. Maybe renting a room in someone's house via Craigslist or someone else at work might be better for him than a whole apartment (cheaper, sometimes furnished, etc).
I like this strategy, in addition to talking to your DH
Kick his ass out. He is being beyond ridiculous. There has to be somewhere else he can stay or he can go to a hotel. Paying for a place to sleep might make him take apartment hunting a little more seriously.
I'm really sorry you have to deal with this stress.
Ha! I like this the best. He'll definitely get the point.