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NBR: Help with cover letter & Resume

KamiSuzanneKamiSuzanne
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

 

There is a new verizon store opening here and I am going to apply. The ad nsays to apply to an e-mail address. I am going to put the cover letter as the body of the e-mail and my resume as an attachment. The ad says "Z wireless retailer now hiriing ambitious and friendly sales reps and mgmt for new store. Sales experience a plus personality a must. FT. competative base + commission, Bonuses,PTO  and Benefits"

 

Please make suggestions and tell me what you think I could add, or take away. Thanks Much!!

 

ADDRESS

 

Cover letter:

 

August 25, 2009

 

To Whom It May Concern

I am writing to express my interest in the sales representative and Management positions. 

I believe my degrees in communication and business would be a great help to me in this position. I am a very organized individual and learn new tasks very quickly. I handle multi-tasking very well, and get projects completed in a timely manner. All of the position I have held in the past have included a great deal of customer interacition and sales. I believe that I would be a great asset to your company and to fellow employees.

Thank you for your consideration. I can be reach at PHONE#. Please contact me if you have any further questions. I hope to meet you in person soon.  

Sincerely,

Kami Lastname

Attachment

 

Resume

Kami Lastname Address Phone Email   Education   Northern State University, Aberdeen, South Dakota Major in Speech Communication with an emphasis in Public Relations Minor in Business          Cando High School, Cando, North Dakota Graduated May 2004   Internship   University Relations             December 2008 ? May 2008             Aberdeen, South Dakota   Work Experience   The Buckle             December 2007- May 2008             Aberdeen, South Dakota   Minervas Restaurant and Bar             August 2006 ? May 2008             Aberdeen, South Dakota   Towner County Medical Center             May 2006 ? August 2006             Cando, North Dakota   NSU Theatre Department             August 2005- May 2006             Aberdeen, South Dakota   Activities   Campus Activity Board (CAB)             September 2004 ? May 2006   Student Ambassadors             April 2005 ? August 2007   Football Cheer team             August 2006 ? May 2009     References available upon request  
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Re: NBR: Help with cover letter & Resume

  • yo.mamayo.mama member

    Reduce the number of times you say very, and take out I believe from you degree sentence (take it out of both sentences). Also it should be degree not degrees. Instead of saying you handle multi-tasking, simply say you multi-task. Add an s to position in the sentence that begins with All.

    On your resume, you need to include what degree you earned and when you graduated. If you did not graduate, then you need to remove degrees/degree from your letter, and maybe just mention your formal education in communications and business.

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  • BabyMenzelBabyMenzel
    you're explaining your job duties under your jobs you've had correct? if not, make sure you do that
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  • CMDR513CMDR513 member

    Changes in Bold

    imageKamiSuzanne:

     

    There is a new verizon store opening here and I am going to apply. The ad nsays to apply to an e-mail address. I am going to put the cover letter as the body of the e-mail and my resume as an attachment. The ad says "Z wireless retailer now hiriing ambitious and friendly sales reps and mgmt for new store. Sales experience a plus personality a must. FT. competative base + commission, Bonuses,PTO  and Benefits"

     

    Please make suggestions and tell me what you think I could add, or take away. Thanks Much!!

     

    ADDRESS

     

    Cover letter:

     

    August 25, 2009

     

    To Whom It May Concern:

     

    I am writing to express my interest in the sales representative and management positions. 

    I believe my degrees in communication and business would assist me greatly. I am a very organized individual and learn new tasks quickly. I handle multitasking very well, getting projects completed in a timely manner. All of my previous positions have dealt with customer interaction and sales. I believe that I would be a great asset to your company and fellow employees.

    Thank you for your consideration. If you have any further questions and/or concerns, please feel free to contact me at Phone#. I look forward to hearing from you.

    Sincerely,

    Kami Lastname

    Attachment

     

    Resume

    Kami Lastname Address Phone Email   Education   Northern State University, Aberdeen, South Dakota Major in Speech Communication with an emphasis in Public Relations Minor in Business          Cando High School, Cando, North Dakota Graduated May 2004   Internship   University Relations             December 2008 ? May 2008             Aberdeen, South Dakota   Work Experience   The Buckle             December 2007- May 2008             Aberdeen, South Dakota   Minervas Restaurant and Bar             August 2006 ? May 2008             Aberdeen, South Dakota   Towner County Medical Center             May 2006 ? August 2006             Cando, North Dakota   NSU Theatre Department             August 2005- May 2006             Aberdeen, South Dakota   Activities   Campus Activity Board (CAB)             September 2004 ? May 2006   Student Ambassadors             April 2005 ? August 2007   Football Cheer Team             August 2006 ? May 2009     References Available Upon Request  
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  • TexasLadyBugTexasLadyBug
    ADDRESS?Cover letter:?August 25, 2009?(Address )?(Dear, Find the name of the person who is hiring) To Whom It May Concern?I am writing to express my interest in the sales representative and Management?positions.?(Pick which position you are requesting)?I believe ( I would take out word believe) my degrees in communication and business would be a great help to me in this position. I am a (take out very) very organized individual and learn new tasks very (take out very) quickly.?I handle multi-tasking very well (pick something besides very well), and get projects completed in a timely manner. (This enite sentence needs to be re-worded) All of the position I have held in the past have included a great deal of customer interacition and sales. I believe (take out believe) that I would be a great asset to your company and to fellow employees.(I look forward to discussing my qualifications with you in person during an on-site interview. Thank you for your time and consideration.)?Thank you for your consideration. I can be reach (spelling reached) at PHONE#. Please contact me if you have any further questions. I hope to meet you in person soon.??(your phone number will already be in your resume)Sincerely,?

    Kami Lastname

    Attachment?

    ?


    Photobucket
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  • KamiSuzanneKamiSuzanne

    imageBabyMenzel:
    you're explaining your job duties under your jobs you've had correct? if not, make sure you do that

    I was told by my advisor in college that I shouldn't. Was he wrong?

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  • BabyMenzelBabyMenzel
    imageKamiSuzanne:

    imageBabyMenzel:
    you're explaining your job duties under your jobs you've had correct? if not, make sure you do that

    I was told by my advisor in college that I shouldn't. Was he wrong?

    hm. not sure. any resumes that i have done have always had specific job duties included.

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