Step-sister vent!!!! long

laurel_howeth · August 2009

So... we had a gender guess at our NT scan yesterday and I was very excited to tell my step sis. So last night I FB messaged her and said it's a BOY!!! She didn't answer. I just assumed she had stepped away from the comp and dropped it.

Quick back story... she is going through alot with her step-son and having custody issues. Which I was well aware of and know it has been hard on her.

Ok back to the venting... So today I messaged her again and said " Having a good day?" and she replied "no" to which I said " I am sorry, but just think you have a little nephew coming, yay!" and this was her response " Look, I just can not deal with this right now. I have to much on my plate". Now I am not trying to be insensitive to her at all and would have been content with a simple "congrats" but no. I know I am probably being super emotional, but it really hurt my feelings.

Am I silly?

vmm0016 · August 2009

Give her some time, it sounds like she is having a rough time.

CKLee1107 · August 2009

I don't think you are silly to be upset. You are right how a simple congrats would have been enough...However, if you know that she is in a tough time it might be a good idea to let her get excited in her own time. It can be hard to be excited about something during a very tough and emotionally draining situation as custody battles usually are. Try to be patient with her...if you feel the need to mention anything, be kind about it. "It hurt a little that you couldn't be happy for us and your nephew. I know how hard it is for you right now but it still hurt." Something simple to explain how it made you feel but not forgetting her situation right now. GL, I'm sure she is happy for you and will love to meet her nephew!

laurel_howeth · August 2009

MandJS:

I don't think you're being silly. This is your (step)sister whom you are obviously close with. She may be going through stuff of her own, but that doesn't change that she has a nephew on the way.

That said...

CONGRATS! It's a boy!! :-)

Thank you! Sometimes I feel like I overreact due to emotions and horomones! Yay a boy!! Good luck to you and your little one.

larsos · August 2009

I don't know if you should be upset or angry. But I would be. It's not like your good news makes her bad news worse. It's too bad she's going through something right now, but to say she "can't handle" your news is a little severe ... especially since she hasn't confided what exactly is so wrong in her world right now. I've noticed a few situations with people in my life where they seem almost resentful when I want to share good news with them. It's really strange, but it's kind of shown me who the supportive ones are and who the selfish ones are.

That may be too harsh, but it's my opinion

GraceOMally · August 2009

Congrats on your news!

As far as your sister, I think you should listen to what she said and back way off. I don't know your relationship but I am sure she will be happy and excited with you she just can't right now. Sounds like she is doing her best to let you know that she needs her space. Just find other people who are ready to get excited with you and she will jump in when she is able.

ak1234 · August 2009

I will disagree slightly, and say you should cut her some slack. You should have let her congratulate you in her own time, and not tried to force her to be excited at that particular moment. I wouldn't even tell her that you were hurt, but I personally think your message to her was a little insensitive (it was basically "eff what YOU are going through right now, I'M having a baby and YOU need to be excited FOR ME RIGHT NOW)

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