My SD is almost 3 and as a very active imagination, which is not a bad thing but now she is starting to lie. Yesterday I took her to walmart with me to pick up some more milk and bread while DH and our daughter stayed at home. On the way there she starts telling me to look at the red mark on her eye, there is nothing on her eye or in it. So I ask her what she is talking about, she tells me that her sister(my daughter) pushed her and she fell on her eye and got an ouchie...which didn't happen, SD pushed her sister and my daughter ended up cutting her lip. And I know that she is just a little kid and she is going to start lying b/c she doesn't know any better, but we want to teach her about lying and that it's bad but we aren't quite sure how to tell her in a way that she will understand how bad it is to lie and get people in trouble for no reason...any advice ladies?
Re: Lying?
Well, lying and telling the truth has come up frequently in our household lately as BM keeps making up lies about us. SD is only 5, but I thought she was old enough to understand the difference between the truth and a lie. Since BM accused DH and I of abusing SD because she had a little bruise on her back, we really wanted to make sure she understood how important it is to always tell adults the truth. BM has had SD lie before!
So we just asked her if she knew what a lie was, she said not really, so I made up a scenario, like if I said I had pancakes for breakfast but she saw me eat waffles, did I tell the truth or a lie? We did a few of those and then she did some and it was clear she knew what the difference was so then I explained that it's important to tell adults the truth even if you are worried you might get someone in trouble or make someone mad, you have to tell adults the truth. And I explained further that it's super important to tell me and daddy the truth because we love her and we just want to be here for her and help her, etc. Now when her BM tells her a lie and we clear it for her, she asks if that means her mommy lied and we usually just turn that around and ask it back to her if she thinks her mommy lied and she'll say yes. So she gets what a lie is now.
I don't know if that will work on a 3 year old or not, but it worked with a 5 year old, good luck.
I went thru this phase when I was five and started kindergarden. I'd make up these crazy stories and it was just for attention. They were bewildered like you, but figured out I just felt lost when I started school. I was around all these kids that I didn't have exposure to growing up somewhat isolated on the farm. I was the baby of the family and got lots of attention at home, but at kindergarden I didn't get that. I had to do things to stand out and I chose to lie about stupid stuff. Just because.
My parents calmly dealt with it, explained to me that lies are not right that I can not make up stories about people because they can hurt people and make me look bad when others find out the truth. And just like that, I stopped.
There's a reason behind it. Find out why and try to find ways of filling that need for attention in a positive way.
Thank you ladies
DH talked to BM about SD lying about random things and found out that she has been telling TONS of lies there. We have figured out that here she tells them when she doesn't feel like all attention is on her b/c of her sister needing a diaper changing or when I'm trying to keep them both calm while i finish making them food. She doesn't have any siblings when she is with her mom and is lying there more than here. So we can't figure out what the common factor is? Only thing I can figure out is that her mom takes everything to heart and believes her b/c she is at work all day and doesn't know if it really happened or not and I'm with her all day when she is here so I know what really happened to her. They have decided to talk to each other about thinks that SD says about each of them before reacting to anything that SD says so that they aren't feeding into her lying. And his mom found her a book about lying and we are reading that to her every night when she is here
I hope this works out and helps her learn before she starts lying about serious things:(