Moms working FT

SuLu · August 2009

First, I am not a mom. I have a good job with a company I've been with for several years. My problem is, I have a terrible schedule and a long commute. I'm away from home 9am-to-7:15pm. I wonder how would it ever me possible to keep this job and have a child or 2. When would I see the child? Are they not in bed very early? It doesn't look like my schedule will be able to change, nor would I be able to work from home.

I've considered trying teaching grammar school. I have wanted to be teacher in the past, but will honestly be switching careers just to see family more at night and all summer long. I'm sure that my commute will be closer and a time savor.

If you had my schedule, how many hours a day would you see your child? 2 tops?

Cyrbia · August 2009

I spend the majority of my morning with my son. I tried to get him to say up later at night but he just can't do it. He's slept from about 7 at night until 6:30 in the morning for over a year now. I don't leave the house until 8, so I get up at 6, shower and get myself ready then have 1 1/2 hours to spend with him (granted, I'm getting him ready too) in the morning and then have about 1 1/2 hours again at night...plus weekends.

I do know that some children prefer to sleep from a later time and wake later. My friend's little one sleeps from about 8:30pm until 7am.

Changing jobs is an idea. And as an investment in your family might be ideal for you.

Good luck!

Valerie120408 · August 2009

Your child(ren) may have a specific schedule but based on my experience you would probably spend about 2 to 4 hours on a working day with them. DS is up at 6am and goes to bed around 7pm (I drop him of at DC at 8am and pick him up around 5:30pm). I love my job and the hours are fine with me so I wouldn't switch careers but that's a personal choice. We spend all the time on weekends and holidays together and it's working out great. GL to whatever you decide to do.

makclair · August 2009

I am away from home from 8 am till 6 pm and I work some weekends.And this winter I'll be getting home later (i'm a pediatrician, so winter will be crazy). To me, the leaving home at 9 gives you a couple of hours in the am with the child, so it doesn't seem that much different.

Pesky · August 2009

Well, DD finally has a more set schedule. She gets up between 6-7 so I would see her until taking her to DC probably leaving by 8:30. She does go to bed at 7 so I wouldn't see her until the next morning. That bedtime will naturally be pushed back over time as she gets older but that will take some time. DS doesn't have a schedule so it's hit or miss. He usually gets a bath and goes to bed around 8-9 but is usually snoozing before then anyway. So with your schedule, yeah, I wouldn't see them much. Fortuantely my schedule is somewhat flexible but I am usually gone from 7:30 in the morning until 5:30 in the evening. I don't see DD that much in the morning as DH gets her ready until I take her and drop her off (and soon DS) at school/DC but I do get to spend time with her in the evening before her bedtime.

erbear · August 2009

you should not become a teacher for the schedule. In my first 3 years, I was at school 7-6 and worked many weekends. Plus, you'll be a shitty teacher if you're going into it for the wrong reasons.

jen5-03 · August 2009

2 hours in the morning and 1.5 hours at night.

But if your DH's schedule gets him home earlier, then it could be a good thing by minimizing time in daycare and giving you both one-on-one time with your DH.

MrsAmers · August 2009

With that schedule, I would see my daughter for 2 hours in the morning and 45 minutes at night. Although she will sleep in on the weekends, so if that was my schedule we would probably push her from an 8pm to a 9pm bedtime and get her up at 8am instead of 7am. I think family dinners are really important, so evening time is more valuable to me than morning time. And as long as kids get the right number of hours of sleep, I don't think a certain bedtime is important.

I currently have about 30 minutes with her in the morning and 2 to 2.5 hours with her in the evening. Not great, but doable. I get to spend a little more time with my son, but that's because he takes an evening nap and goes to bed a little later.

mwlynn · August 2009

I spend about 3 hours a day with my son during the week. I get him up for school and we head out early. I leave work at 4PM and usually have him by 4:30 or 4:45. He goes to bed between 7:30-8:00.

The guilt still gets me...especially on Mondays. But, he LOVES his school and teachers so that makes it a little easier.

2more2go · August 2009

You will see your child a couple of hours in the morning and eve. We cosleep so I never felt like I was missing out.

mrsbookworm · August 2009

At least 4 and a half hours. My son commutes to the city with me to his daycare, so we spend nearly 2 hours in the car per day together and I start my work day around 9 too. Also, there's close to an hour spent together in the morning getting dressed and eating breakfast. In the evenings, he rides home with me and we get home around 7 to eat a late dinner, read together, have playtime and then bath/bedtime.

It can be done!

TheMalleys · August 2009

That schedule would be really difficult to have children or a family. You would probably have to hire a nanny or have your H stay at home, because day-care you would have to pick them up by 6:30pm and no later. Also because you are not home till 7pm, that means someone else would have to feed dinner, do the bedtime routine, etc. My DD when she was an infant went to bed at 7:30pm, so that would not leave you much time at all. If you are thinking of starting a family, I would definitley look into another job. I switched jobs about 6 months before I get pregnant, because my last job was not family friendly at all. Now I am much happier. Good luck.

DallasHorn · August 2009

Honestly, that's a hard schedule b/c what you are not including is the time it takes you to get ready in the morning or potentially dropping off the kids at a DC. As another poster mentioned, most DCs require you to pick up by 6 or 6:30 at the latest.

Your post is not clear...do you not leave your house until 9 AM...if that's the case, then really you would get mornings with the kids. You could work a schedule where you really do mornings and DH does evenings. Could you look into working 1 or 2 days remotely? If so, that would make a HUGE improvement.

AshlynsMom · August 2009

First, I do teach school and I work way longer hours than 9-7, so, while you do have a few weeks off in the summer and education tends to be fairly mom-friendly, it's not an 8-3 job like a lot of people think. I usually work 7:30-6, then several hours of work at home or so, not during coaching season (that's more like 7:00am-11:00pm). I commute 45 minutes each way. I'm cooking baby #2 now.

Sometimes it sucks and I would go two or three days without seeing DD awake (during the season only). But that made the time we did get on the weekends, especially more awesome. We instituted a 'treat day' when she was about 2 when I'd make sure to get home early and we'd do something fun together. It's all about priorities, and, sadly, sometimes DD just couldn't be priority #1 at that moment.

But to answer your question, I see my kid about 4 waking hours a day during a regular weekday, so that's what I'd say for you.

AmyDrinkie · August 2009

On the days I drive in to the office, I am away from home from 7-5 if I work through lunch. I see him for about 45mins in the morning and 2.5hrs in the evening. On the days I work from home (2x per week) I only see him an extra 30mins in the afternoon.

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