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IL's mean well but at it AGAIN! (LONG VENT)

ShainaShaina
in Success after IF

I posted here about the same time last year about how negative my FIL ws about the whole nanny situation and how he doesn't envy us in finding and trusting a nanny etc....Well, he is at it again this year and so is my MIL too!  I mena, I know they ultimately care about their granddaughters' safety and if they didn't they wouldn't be so concerned...but STILL--there are ways to say things  and WAYS to say things...and they are REALLY getting on my nerves.

AGAIN:  1. Maybe it should occur to my IL's that I have a CAREER that I enjoy and that I worked hard to achieve and am actually HAPPY and satisfied to work (civil litigator) 2. Way to make me more upset about missing my girls while I am at work 3. If you are so concerned about us hiring a nanny, then why don't either of you (MIL or FIL) offer to watch our girls instead of hiring a nanny?  OR better yet why don't you offer to help pay our bills and then some so I can stay at home instead of working to help pay for these things 4. Be HAPPY we continue to stay in NY, on Long Island, probably the HCOL area in the country or pretty damn close to it.  We live here and are 5 minutes from YOU and YOU have access to these kids any time you want.  Do you want us to move out of state to a much more ridiculously affordable state, where we could comfortably live on DH's current salary alone, probably buy a McMansion and 2 luxury vehicles and I could SAHM?  Because we have thought about it...is that what you want? So you could maybe see your grandkids 2x a year at best?  BE HAPPY WE ARE CLOSE TO YOU.  5. Not every nanny is a child abusing baby snatcher.  We had a very good one this last year. 6. A nanny is a more economical option for us right now, over daycare BUT, since you mentioned daycare, do you want to be our backup to watch the kids when they get sick every other week the first few months of day care?  Because that is what will happen and the judge I have a trial in front of will not care that I can't be there b/c my child is sick AGAIN from day care but I had no one to watch her.   

THAT is why we have a nanny.

So sick of them right now.  If you have nothing nice or helpful to say, PLEASE keep your mouth shut then, IL's. 

FWIW, my mother would have been 1,000% proud of me working f/t and raising my girls.  It would be great to hear THAT instead of my IL's.

OK-VENT IS OVER!

 

 

 

It is unreal

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Re: IL's mean well but at it AGAIN! (LONG VENT)

  • alison43alison43
    i think what you're doing makes perfect sense for you and your family.  it would be nice if other people would just keep their mouths shut sometimes, huh?
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  • firsttogofirsttogo
    I nannied for triplets, and a singleton. The GP was there all of the time. I know in the beginning he was checking up on me, but he came to see that I was there for the right reason, and backed down. I bet they just want to be the ones with the girls, but know that is not reasonable. Offer to allow them to be there 1/2 day each week... see if that helps!
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  • kamcfarlanekamcfarlane member
    my MIL, SIL, and SIL are(were for MIL) all SAHMs. i suspect one of my SIL and my MIL have very strong opinions on my choice to continue to work. to the point that my MIL wouldn't help us out by watching DS when our daycare closed for a week (i wasn't asking for the whole week, just a day or even a half a day). after paying for my law school and her son's, staying at home just isn't an option. it's one of the many reasons i'd like her to go away. Smile
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