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Baby Names
Julia-Henry
member
How do you resolve it when you can't agree on a name?
Julia-Henry
member
in Baby Names
Dh and I are stuck - there are some names we kind of like, but the ones that we each prefer don't appeal to the other. None of our compromise names really excite us, and it feels like we're stuck.
Anyone BTDT? How did you get through and choose a name? Any tips or advice for when you just can't agree on a name?
Thanks!
2012 Races:
Mar 24: Great Human Race 5K. April 28: 5K for Fitness
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Re: How do you resolve it when you can't agree on a name?
How determined are you to know the baby's name before your LO arrives?Maybe you could go to the hospital with each of your fave names in mind and then see which one baby looks/feels like. If you'd prefer to decide ahead of time, I'd say you should go back to the drawing board and come up with a new list. Maybe something new will jump out at both of you.
Or you could beat your H into submission
Good point. Since you've already decided on a girl's name, maybe let the debate rest until you know what you're having. The search for a boy's name may not be necessary:)
I made a deal with DH. I told him I get to to name the girl and he could name the boy. Mostly because I've had a girl name picked out for awhile now, that he's not that big of a fan of. My only stipulation was that he can't be a junior. He came up with a boy name that I really didn't like but I told him I would stick to the deal. Well slowly but surely I kept putting different boy names out there that I liked more and he ended up liking the one I liked the most, it grew on him. So I won on both names tee hee hee }:)
Also my parents didn't agree on names for me either. My mom wanted Bailey and my dad wanted Lacy. Both didn't like the others name so they compromised on Shelby. My name fits me perfect, I'm not to sure Bailey or Lacy would have fit as well.
So just try and go with the flow and just throw some stuff out there and he may come around. But don't stress out about it. I'm sure it will definitely come to you the closer it gets. Also compromise can be a good thing.
My last baby ... DH disliked all the names I chose, but picked "Lauren" very early on which I frankly ignored. Around the time I was 8 months pregnant and exhausted and simply sick of trying to find one he liked I gave in. She's a perfect Lauren! But there was no compromise.
This time I've picked a name and am waiting for him to give in!
Good luck!
I would say, just wait until your baby is born. We have names that we like, but we won't decide until birth.
My parents had a name in mind for my little sister through the entire pregnancy. We called her that to her tummy, had things embroidered, etc. When she was born, my dad held her and said, "This is not a Shayna. This is Chelsey."
And thus, they changed her name. I think there's a lot to be said for seeing the baby. Do what works for you, but you have plenty of time.
Does your husband tend to be stubborn? Maybe he gets in the habit of saying 'No' no matter what you suggest? If that's the case, maybe try to resist discussing names at all for a few months. Then he won't get set against anything. Once it's more pressing, he might be more agreeable or even come up with longer lists of his own suggestions.
Maybe he's not stubborn, but it just takes a while for names to grow on him. My hubby tends to dislike anything that he perceives as unusual. Every name he chooses belongs to someone we know. Since we don't know many baby's, the names tend to have a real 70's and 80's flair - Jennifer, Brian, Steve, Lindsey, etc. I've been working on him by just 'dropping' the names that I like over and over. I don't make a big deal about them or discuss them, just mention them. It's giving his ear a chance to get used to them. So when he walks in tonight, I'll just say, "So here are some names: Lila, Avery, Payton, Zoe and Melissa." He'll say, "I like Melissa". I just say ok and smile. I've been throwing in my key favorites every couple of days and recently he said that Lila is starting to grow on him.
So it's a combination of not forcing him, letting him choose from a wide range, and letting him get used to names that he's less familiar with.
Maybe that will work for you, since you have plenty of time?
First, I would kind of drop the topic for a while. You still have a very long way to go, so it's still a bit early to get too worried about it. Plus, if you find out what you are having, then you only have a name for one gender to contend with and not both.
That being said, after months and months of arguing, DH and I just picked a name last night. I sent him an email (he was on a business trip) with 25 acceptable names, he narrowed it down to 10, I took off 3 more, and then he cut it down to four and added middle names. He told me to choose. I told him to choose because I liked them all. So now we have a name. A bit of an unusual method, but it worked and didn't end in a major argument.
I have no idea...with #2 I'll be in the same boat with my DH.
We have a boy name (we were on team green for DD so we had both a boy and a girl name ready, although I changed the girl name a month before she was born), but we CANNOT agree on a girl name.
He's not helping...I have thrown out at least 15-20 possibilities, he has shot down every one for one stupid reason or another, and sticks like glue to the only 2 that were his suggestions, both of which aren't acceptable in my opinion.
This might be a "wait and see the baby" situation when all is said and done...
If you figure it out, give me a holler.;)