Question for a friend — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

Question for a friend

Butting in from TTTC. I hope this is the right place to post this. My close friend of 20 years wants to have biological children ( will adopt if he cannot) He's gay and we are trying to find out how he will go about this. My plan for him is to get an egg donor and a surrogate. The RE and clinic I go to have these options but he's not comfortable just going there and asking about this. I know just talking to my RE about DE the number $29,000 came up, and thats without a surrogate. He thinks we can find a donor and surrogate cheaper but Im so afraid of him being taken advantage of, someone taking the money and running. Should he make an appointment with an RE or does anybody have any ideas or forums we can go to for advice? TIA

1-20-09 BFP third month of Follistim IUI 02-19-09 MC 06-24-09 MC July IUI Follistim Ganirelix Ovidrel Crinone=BFN Aug. IUI Follistim Ganirelix ovidrel Crinone=BFP= scared sh**less 10-12-09 MC = 1 ectopic 1 perfect Dec. IUI Gonal-F Ganirelix Ovidrel Crinone Lovenox 01-02-10 BFP=scared sh**less again 01-06-10 CP SAIF ALWAYS WELCOME : ) March 2010 - IVF in progress converted to IUI 03-30-10 BFN April 2010 - IVF - BFFN June 2010 - IVF - BFFN July IUI BFP! March 26 2011 Gracie is here! imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic

Re: Question for a friend

  • I dont have too much help to provide, but you might find some info on surromomsonline.com.  At the very least, he may be able to get a sense for how much surrogates are ususally paid.  In my experience, though, there is no way he's going to find a DE and surrogate for less than $29k. 

    Regardless of where he finds his egg/surro, he will definitley want to seek out a good lawyer. 

    best of luck to him!

  • It's my understanding that very few states regulate surrogacy so a good lawyer is definitely important. It is cheaper if the GC is also willing to provide the eggs but I know some GCs aren't. I would suggest looking for a local LGBT parenting group and asking for local resources through there.

    If he is interested in adoption I was just sent and email about an agency actively seeking gay and lesbian couples.  Send me an email at janet and karyn @ yahoo dot com and I'll forward it to you.

    [URL=http://alterna-tickers.com][IMG]http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/i/in4tofau9.png[/IMG][/URL]

    [URL=http://alterna-tickers.com][IMG]http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/7/71kdg0nzi.png[/IMG][/URL]
  • Loading the player...
  • imageTwo*True:

    If he is interested in adoption I was just sent and email about an agency actively seeking gay and lesbian couples.  Send me an email at janet and karyn @ yahoo dot com and I'll forward it to you.

    Thats tough to find!

    ygm ;)

  • Since he is considering an egg donor and a surrogate I would strongly recommend he work with an agency, not an RE. They can steer all parties to the best RE's, handle all the legal work and coordinate every aspect of the process.

    There are quite a few reputable ones who will work with LGBT intended parents . I have personal experience with some of them. If you would like the names please PM me and I will pass along their contact info.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards