XP: Did you or someone you know have two showers?

Dancer6978 · August 2009

I have a friend at work whose sister is throwing her a baby shower on the 29th. (I just got the invitation yesterday.)

Today in my inbox, all the people who work in her section, along with all the officers (we're military, and this is not uncommon at all to throw work parties for big events), got an invitation for another shower for her, which happens to be on the 28th.

I am going to attend both. I'm not a stingy or cheap person, so if you tell me I should get her two gifts, I will. Just wondering what the norm is on this. Thanks!

whitneyandbrook · August 2009

I am having two, but with completely different guest lists. I would not attend two showers for the same person, that's just silly, IMO.

jldittber · August 2009

I actually ended up w/3 showers. One w/close friends, one with family an a work one. My best friend came for 2, she got me my "main gift" with my friend shower and she just got me a few tiny things for my second shower, a pack of towels and wash clothes.

So I would say if you are good friends with this person and want to attend, I would get a few small things (which are fun to open anyway), but if you're not that close, I wouldn't go.

misses625 · August 2009

I had two showers with DS because my parents are divorced and each parent wanted to have their own thing for me. My friends who attended both showers got me two gifts. One friend got me clothes at one shower and something off my registry for the other. No need to spend a ton of money, just split the gift up between the two showers.

sgrl · August 2009

I'm having three - one for primarily family, one at work, and one with a small group of friends.

I'm surprised you were invited to both. I was actually really embarassed that one of my high school friends somehow got invited to both (I think I told my friends to include her, but then decided she'd be more comfortable at my family shower since she knows my family but not this group of friends as she lives in a different town). She RSVP'd yes to one and no to the other - but she told me she'd love to go to both, she just had a conflict.

Jocelyn0415 · August 2009

Apparently, I'm having 3! Our parents are throwing us one, FI's work is throwing us one, and my work is throwing us one.

first-time-mama · August 2009

I wouldnt say to get 2 gifts.. I am having 3 showers and my Best friend is attending 2 of them..I told her not to get me anything for the second..just show up for support. That can get expensive. imo Wink

carimeli · August 2009

I'm having a total of 5 different showers, but they are all from different people, so the people coming will only attend once. I would probably get 2 smaller gifts and bring gift to each shower if you attend both. I don't think she should expect a gift at both, though.

(Yes, 5 is complete overkill, but I work 2 jobs and they both are having one for me, my DH's job is having one, my family is having one, and my neighbors are throwing one.)

MrsBro6116 · August 2009

I've had friends that have had 2 showers, although the guest list is usually completely different... Hmm

baby926 · August 2009

I am having two showers but different guest lists. I would only attend one of them. One gift is enough.

rinny627 · August 2009

I had 2 showers and the only people invited to both were the grandmom's-to-be and my SIL's.

They bought gifts for each, but I wasn't expecting them too. I don't think you have to buy 2 gifts.

neesh776 · August 2009

Maybe get her one nice gift or break up into two smaller, like baskets of baby necessities? I'm having two showers also but I wouldn't expect someone attending both to get me two presents.

roxyrlh · August 2009

DH and I had 6 ! And no duplicate guests.

ellemoney:) · August 2009

whitneyandbrook:
I am having two, but with completely different guest lists. I would not attend two showers for the same person, that's just silly, IMO.

This exactly.

I had two.. but one was my family and friends thrown by my Aunts.. and the other was DH's family and friends thrown by my MIL & DH's Aunt.

?

PizzaBride · August 2009

whitneyandbrook:
I am having two, but with completely different guest lists. I would not attend two showers for the same person, that's just silly, IMO.

Ditto. I'm having 2, possibly 3, showers, but all with different people invited. If I were you, I'd attend the work shower, but not the one her sister is throwing her. If you want to attend both, then yes you need to get her two gifts.

laura1980 · August 2009

I am having one that my family is throwing in Virginia and then my co-workers will be throwing me one here. There won't be anybody that will be attending both. I wouldn't expect them to buy 2 gifts if they were attending both.

Soap1 · August 2009

I had two (one for family/friends here, one for family/friends in DH's hometown), and only a couple people attended both.

I would suggest getting her a present for one, and then a small package of diapers for the other!

mrskisses · August 2009

I had 2 showers but with completely different guests with the exception of my mom and my MIL. They were even in different states.

I'm not sure if I would bring her two gifts, perhaps a card to both, but just a gift to one. Or a small gift, like a small practical gift to one and a small fun gift to the other.

I got a mommy gift at my shower last weekend that had cocoa butter & stuff in it so maybe that would be something you could do for one shower too.

(on a side note, I have the same dress and I LOVE wearing it! I wore it to both of my showers!!!)

KandM05 · August 2009

IMO if you attend a baby shower, you should take a gift. But, your not obligated at all to attend both. You choose whether or not you want to attend one or both, but if you RSVP to both, you should take a gift to both. It doesnt mean you have to spend twice as much though, figure out how much total you would want to spend and just divide the items between the two parties.

Dancer6978 · August 2009

Thanks, all! The reason I was invited to both is because her supervisor did the inviting for the work one; she was not invited to the personal one, so she probably has no idea there even IS a personal one. (The way it works in the military is you're not supposed to be "friends" with your supervisor or suborindates because of conflict of interest, so that is why her supervisor didn't know about the personal shower.) I don't feel comfortable showing up empty handed to either of them, so I do like the idea of breaking up the gift into two smaller ones.

Ncaminiti · August 2009

Normally it's not with the same people. I would agree with PP's. If you really wanna go to both get some fun to open gifts for the other shower. Or if you give an item you can do complimentary pieces for the second shower.

LilMissSunshine · August 2009

My SIL had two showers. One with her family, and one with our in-laws. I went to both and gave her her "main" gift at the in-law shower, and a small gift for her (not for the baby) at the shower her mom had.

If you decide to attend both, you should give two gifts.

tanya8 · August 2009

My MIL threw me a shower a few months ago, and today the ladies that work with my mother are throwing me another (though I am not in the same city, so I am going to call and thank them on speakerphone!). They were very upset that I was unable to make a trip down to see them! My mom has worked with the same group of ladies for over 10 years, so they treat us kids like their own (even though we are all grown up). It is very sweet of them!

smilelari · August 2009

I'm having 3 but it will be different people at all of them

A S-ski · August 2009

neesh776:
Maybe get her one nice gift or break up into two smaller, like baskets of baby necessities? I'm having two showers also but I wouldn't expect someone attending both to get me two presents.

This is what I would do if I went to both. I always hate walking in empty handed.

BrideInLondon · August 2009

I would use the same etiquette that you use for a wedding... decide how much you want to spend total on a gift, then decide if you want to get just one gift, or two, but for the same amount you already decided you would spend.

I also had one friend who came to two showers of mine. One was a surprise work-friends lunch shower, and the other was my real shower. She bought me a few small items for the lunch shower, and then the main items for the real shower.

But I wasn't expecting her to bring gifts to both.

Hope that helps!

blushingbrideoct07 · August 2009

I had two showers one my mom threw and one my MIL threw. ?My sisters and SIL were invited to both. ?In no way did i expect them to give me gifts to both showers. ?I also made sure to mention the gifts that they gave me at either of the showers so this way the guests knew of their generosity. ?

?

My SIL gave us one gift at my mom's shower and some handmade gifts at my MIL's shower. ?You can do this if you are crafty and do not want to go empty handed to one of the showers. (or get a children's book??)?

pregnantchica · August 2009

Depending on how close I am to the guest of honor...I'd buy two gifts. On the other hand, I've attended both showers and just bought one gift. I'd at least get a card for the second shower...,.

smyrnagirl · August 2009

I am actually having four....yea, completely out of control. My in-laws live in Michigan and they had a cookout/shower for us in July and then my relatives in Ohio had one for us too. The other 2 are being thrown by my best girlfriends and then my mom's friends are having one for me. So, obviously these are all completely different guestlists and I would never expect anyone to buy me multiple gifts.

sgrl · August 2009

mrskisses:

I got a mommy gift at my shower last weekend that had cocoa butter & stuff in it so maybe that would be something you could do for one shower too.

Ohhhh THAT'S a good idea! I will make out with anybody who gives me a GC for a pedi at this point!

luss0025 · August 2009

whitneyandbrook:
I am having two, but with completely different guest lists. I would not attend two showers for the same person, that's just silly, IMO.

This. The only people who were at both showers were my mom, little sister, MIL, and younger SIL. And they each just got me one big gift which they gave to me at their own shower. I think your pg friend would understand if you only got her one gift...or get her 2 smaller gifts and give her one at each shower if you don't want to come empty-handed to either. GL

angie05161 · August 2009

I'm actually having 4 showers. One with friends, two with family (parents are divorced and require separate showers), and one at work. Those that are invited to both (friend and coworker), I told not to get me two gifts. I didn't invite them for the gifts. I invited them because they are friends.

jen5-03 · August 2009

I had 2 last time - one at DH's work, one for everyone else... but his good friends from work were invited to both. They gave us a nice gift at one and something like one onesie at the other, just a token gift.

My BFF had 3 - I threw one and attended the other 2. Honestly I don't remember what I did for the other 2 showers but I gave her a changing table and then some token gift. For her bridal showers I had one gift that I broke up between her 3 showers (tablecloth at one shower, 2 placemats and napkins at another, 2 placemats and napkins at the third). If you pick something you can break up like that I think it's a fun idea.

HapPapFam · August 2009

baby926:
I am having two showers but different guest lists. I would only attend one of them. One gift is enough.

This.

myantonia · August 2009

I actually had three (with almost completely different guest lists). Those who were invited to more than one, I specifically told them not to get me more than one gift.... they were my two best friends and my mom, though, so I felt comfortable having that conversation. If it was a work friend, I think I would probably just choose one shower, but if you're definately going to go to both, I would maybe get her two smaller presents.

Mee83shell · August 2009

I'm having 3 actually--one for mom's side of the family, one for dad's side, and work is throwing me one...but there are NO duplicates in the guest list except for my mom wanting to come to the family showers. I'd say get her two gifts but make them two reasonably priced gifts...or one inexpensive gift and a gift card for the other. But I do think it's odd that you're invited to both showers...

sjp · August 2009

I had three with my DS--but only my sister, sil and both moms where invited to two-- (one was a work one)--the guests lists apart from that were different. I would go to both if you want, but you are only obligated to take one gift--or you can do part 1 and part 2 of a gift (like bath supplies or something like that . .. )

jwpbride · August 2009

jldittber:

I actually ended up w/3 showers.

So did I- one thrown by my school, one by my friends and one by my church (however, they were all different people except for my aunts/grandmama). I would go only if you feel up to it- she wouldn't be offended if you didn't go to both. I think two small gifts off the registry would be a good way to go so you're only spending as much money as you would going to one shower.