Thoughts on Presentation showers?

Temp174496125006552 · August 2009

I got an invite yesterday to a baby shower for the wife of one of DH's friends. I saw her a couple weeks ago at the wedding of a different friend of DH's...and while talking to her, she mentioned the shower and was saying that she's really uncomfortable about all the attention she will get by opening gifts. Lo and behold, the invite says bring the gift unwrapped because it's a "presentation shower".

I don't know if it's the big ol' AW in me or what, but I just don't the idea of this. My MIL wanted my bridal shower (the one that MY mom was planning and paying for - but that's a whole other story) to be a presentation shower and was pretty adamant about it. My mom told her that she knew that I would not be comfortable with that, and I wasn't. IMO, it puts too much emphasis on the gifts. I was more interested in seeing and chatting with the people at my shower, not having it be a display of the stuff people got me. Don't get me wrong, I like presents....but it's a bit much/weird to me. Plus, I think people like to watch the reaction of seeing you open what they got you.

I guess if I had anxiety about being in front of people I may feel differently. If anyone suffers from this, is it really that bad to have your friends and family looking at you while you open their gifts? I'm genuinely curious.

Tess12 · August 2009

I've never heard of a presentation shower. What is it?

Gina418 · August 2009

I have no idea what a presentation shower even is - does the mommy-to-be just hold up each gift - I'm confused!!!

Stacyc625 · August 2009

huh. i have never heard of such a thing. like you- totally not something i would do.

NewlywednOhio · August 2009

That is a little odd. I never heard of a presentation shower before.

Nonetheless, I don't normally have anxiety, but I did while opening my gifts. I was worried people were bored watching me open gift after gift, and I tried to be quick about it. I also made it a point to not read each and every card even though my mom was encouraging me to read each one out loud.

However, I still think it's more special when you get to open a gift in front of the person that bought it for you.

habsoilers · August 2009

I know that the whole purpose of a shower is for gifts but a presentation shower just doesn't sit right with me. It seems to be too much about the gifts at that point. OK, so it takes some of the anxiety away from the guest of honour but I can see it provoking some anxiety in the guests themselves - "Oh, everyone is looking at what I got her, I hope no one thinks my gift is stupid" or "Oh no, it looks like everyone went all out and I only spent $40. I hope no one notices."

ETA: I know that people will still see what you got the guest of honour even if she does open the gifts in front of everyone but that's only for a few seconds versus your gift being "on display" for everyone to judge, LOL.

citygirl_ · August 2009

I think it's odd.. ?isn't a shower to "shower" the person with gifts? ?Usually that means OPENING the gift, right? ?I mean - I don't enjoy being the center of attention or anything but that's just part of the tradition of showers. ?Kind of strange. ?I'm a traditional gal though.

BlueBelle2004 · August 2009

I've never heard of this before... seems weird to me. For some reason I'd feel awkward as a guest walking in with unwrapped gifts.

carolinag · August 2009

i have never heard of this. sooo weird.

annam829 · August 2009

I kind of think its a good idea, but of course not one of my family or friends would agree....look at all of the saved paper & gift bags

franciscaz · August 2009

I don't like showers in general that dictate gifts. I think it is tacky. If you don't want to open gifts wait and do it after the shower and send timely thank you notes. But don't put more stress on guests.

katydid2007 · August 2009

I've heard of them and like you, I don't really like the idea. It's like she can't even be bothered to open the gift. Just bring the present and put it on the table so the bride can see it and not have to ruin her manicure opening packages.

MsTammy · August 2009

You probably didn't know this about me, but I'm a huge AW. Stick out tongue I personally don't liek the idea of this. I feel like your being judge as soon as you walk through the dor. Like "Oh, look, she only got her that or only spent this much". It just seems even more awkward.

Toosdai · August 2009

Well that just cuts to the heart of the matter, doesn't it? Showers annoy me because it seems like everyone knows the purpose is just for gifts but then it is consider tacky to actually act like it is all about the gifts.

This seems like it just puts it all out there but I think people need the 'pretense' of a shower to make them feel warm and fussy.

It's 'Green' though, isn't it? No wasteful wrapping paper or gift bags to throw away.

KGsky · August 2009

Toosdai:

Well that just cuts to the heart of the matter, doesn't it? Showers annoy me because it seems like everyone knows the purpose is just for gifts but then it is consider tacky to actually act like it is all about the gifts.

I agree--in part. Showers don't annoy me but considering it tacky to actually act like it is all about the gifts does. Showers are all about the gifts. BFD? I find them fun, both to attend, throw, and have thrown for me. But back to the OP, I'm still not sure I understand what this is. A big room with the presents that people can just walk by and see what you got and the guest of honor is not there? Can someone please enlighten those of us who still think a shower is a party where you bring gifts for the guest of honor, eat sweet stuff and cake and have girl talk? LOL

vanillacourage · August 2009

Tacky.

I don't like being the center of attention when opening gifts either, but I sucked it up to get the loot! If it really bothers you that much, just don't have a shower. It's a trade-off.

Dobie_Mama · August 2009

*francisca*:
I don't like showers in general that dictate gifts. I think it is tacky. If you don't want to open gifts wait and do it after the shower and send timely thank you notes. But don't put more stress on guests.

That would be my suggestion too - open them after the shower.

I'm terrible in front of people. We only had 50 people at our wedding and I honestly thought I would pass out before hand because I was so nervous. I asked my friends and family to not throw me a baby shower at all because of my anxiety. I think showers should be about fun and wanting to puke in front of tons of people is just not my idea of fun. My coworkers still threw me a baby shower and I was extremely uncomfortable the entire time. Of course I was, and still am, very thankful for the thought and effort but it was stressful.

little_mrs · August 2009

nms, I like opening gifts & I like watching other people open gifts.

Temp174496125006552 · August 2009

MsTammy:

You probably didn't know this about me, but I'm a huge AW. I personally don't liek the idea of this. I feel like your being judge as soon as you walk through the dor. Like "Oh, look, she only got her that or only spent this much". It just seems even more awkward.

Really? I had no idea!! Must be why we get along so well.

But seriously, I had that same thought. With me just getting my first unemployment check today and not totally having a handle on how I'm going budget/make this work, I don't think I'm going to be spending what I normally would if I had the security of my bi-weekly paycheck. I'll spend what I can, but don't want to feel like a cheapskate walking in the door.

Toosdai~ I will admit that the EFF girl inside of me does like it for that reason though.

swedish-fish · August 2009

I've never heard of them, but they a presentation shower definitely sounds tacky to me. My anxiety peaked during my pregnancy and I remember feeling all shaky and sweaty while opening my gifts, but I did it anyway! It's a small price to pay for all the generosity from your friends and family, I think.

MrsKellyOrBust · August 2009

I would never do it but I don't think I would mind if someone did it at their shower- sometimes opening presents can take for-ev-er! Maybe that's because in my family no one ever pays attention to the gifts being opened- we are all too busy gabbing.

CFO · August 2009

I threw a shower for my best friend. She didn't want to open gifts in front of everyone, and requested that I inform the guests that there wouldn't be a gift opening. She has a strong fear of public speaking/attention. Luckily for me, her mother spoke to her and talked her out of it. She ended up really enjoying it, and her DH helped. I respected her fears, but was glad I didn't have to initiate that w/ the guests.

flgator · August 2009

*francisca*:
I don't like showers in general that dictate gifts. I think it is tacky. If you don't want to open gifts wait and do it after the shower and send timely thank you notes. But don't put more stress on guests.

this

MattsWifey<3 · August 2009

i once went to a shower that was similar. we were asked to wrap it in clear celophane(sp). i thought it was odd. i gave a card with a gift card in it

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