Northern California Babies

Parenting books, I give up! Vent!!!

Ok, I read the Dr. Sears book, co sleeping indefinitely is definitely NOT for me, and since it is such a hard habit to break, I would not get on that track personally. 

Now I am reading the Healthy sleep habits book and although he has good points, this guy really has "attitude". He says he has studied infants and the ones who nap well are more agreeable and focused and the ones that don't are essentially fussy 'brats" who are more intense and have problems with concentration. Well have you proven that the fussy and intense temperament is not what caused the sleep problem as opposed to vice versa.? And how can you call children brats? That is just rude!!!!!!!!! (can you tell I was mad reading this?)

Anyway I like some of the stuff they say, but I feel like they are so opinionated and based on so little evidence.  

I also bought a breasfeeding book that has about two pages on pumping. Big fat book, how can it have only two pages on pumping? I'm starting to feel like no one is writing books for practical purposes. Am I missing something obvious?  

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Re: Parenting books, I give up! Vent!!!

  • I think it was tobearichards that told me - STOP READING BOOKS!!  Its true... I found WAY MORE practical parenting advice here on The Nest than anywhere else.  That... and specific articles on specific things (like pumping) on the web. 
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  • My personal opinion on "parenting" books is that they all suck.  And each child is different so what works for one family won't work for the other.  For me, the best advice I ever got was from the real moms on this boards.  Not everything worked for my son, but it was nice to have LOTS of options and opinions.

     

    Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
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  • I can't help you with the BF book...

    But I will tell you what I tell people who say things to me about how we plan to raise Bunny: "There's only one right way to do things. The way that works for you."


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  • imageMy.ABC.Life:
    I think it was tobearichards that told me - STOP READING BOOKS!!  Its true... I found WAY MORE practical parenting advice here on The Nest than anywhere else.  That... and specific articles on specific things (like pumping) on the web. 

    Ditto everyone! 

  • ditto Alison!

    Stop reading books! You'll find your groove, and figure out what fits best for your family.

  • Co-sleeping was not a hard habit for us to break.  Ryan went to his own room pretty easily at 18 months and Aaron is totally happy to have the bed to himself on the occasion that we don't sleep there ;)
  • There are SO many parenting books, and they all have different opinions. Sometimes it just gets frusterating trying to figure out which route to take with your baby.

    Read while you can now. I get all my books on tape, or the video version now!

  • I agree that everyone has their own style and their individual needs! But I was hoping for some helpful tools, so I could try different things and see what worked best for us. I know a lot already, but I wanted to see what all the hoopla was about, since I hear about this stuff all the time, eg AP an CE, etc. I guess I was better off before and just talking to you all. 

    I do like Happiest Baby on the Block DVD.  And Baby Bargains is a good book, give you some practical info. 

    and of course Elena will be the easiest baby in history and never give me a hard time HA!!!!!  

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  • image2bearichards:

    imageMy.ABC.Life:
    I think it was tobearichards that told me - STOP READING BOOKS!!  Its true... I found WAY MORE practical parenting advice here on The Nest than anywhere else.  That... and specific articles on specific things (like pumping) on the web. 

    Ditto everyone! 

    Double ditto.  I will warn you, however, your DH may get tired of hearing "well, I read on my Mom's board that..."  I know mine is!!  Doesn't stop me, though!!!

  • imagejntboss:
    image2bearichards:

    imageMy.ABC.Life:
    I think it was tobearichards that told me - STOP READING BOOKS!!  Its true... I found WAY MORE practical parenting advice here on The Nest than anywhere else.  That... and specific articles on specific things (like pumping) on the web. 

    Ditto everyone! 

    Double ditto.  I will warn you, however, your DH may get tired of hearing "well, I read on my Mom's board that..."  I know mine is!!  Doesn't stop me, though!!!

    LOL, when I was planning my wedding it got to the point where he would say " what do they say about that on the Knot?". I love that man!  

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  • imageamyfelice:

    LOL, when I was planning my wedding it got to the point where he would say " what do they say about that on the Knot?". I love that man!  

    LOL!!  Sometimes my DH tells me... "Ask The Nest"   HA!

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  • Can I just say I love the name Elena.
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  • imageabvernon:
    Can I just say I love the name Elena.

    Yes you can!!! Awww, thanks!  

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  • I have to admit I'm kinda scared of reading any parenting books...  I have the feeling that they'll just make me feel like I ought to have all these expectations that i don't want to have....  !! 
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  • imageamyfelice:

    I agree that everyone has their own style and their individual needs! But I was hoping for some helpful tools, so I could try different things and see what worked best for us. I know a lot already, but I wanted to see what all the hoopla was about, since I hear about this stuff all the time, eg AP an CE, etc. I guess I was better off before and just talking to you all. 

    I do like Happiest Baby on the Block DVD.  And Baby Bargains is a good book, give you some practical info. 

    and of course Elena will be the easiest baby in history and never give me a hard time HA!!!!!  

    I see where you're coming from :-)

    This mommy's approach to mothering is one that I find inspirational:

    https://sewliberated.typepad.com/sew_liberated/

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  • I'm a book whore. Everyone says to stop reading the books, but I can't. Even it drives me nuts, I *need* to read the books. Luckily I now have enough experience under my belt that when I read something that doesn't *fit* with my parenting style, I just call BS on the book and get rid of it.

    The guy who wrote Healthy Sleep Habits totally has an attitude. I had a major love-hate relationship with that book. I really liked the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (who Weissbluth totally disses in Healthy Sleep Habits).

    I love T. Berry Brazelton and Penelope Leach. Those were my two go-to authors in the early days. The books I had were old copies and some of the stuff was outdated but I felt like they gave such great advice. I really liked Leach b/c I feel she made me a more compassionate mommy and in those hard times, made me realize how freaking hard it is to be a baby and if I thought I had it tough, E had it tougher.

    I didn't find much info on pumping in my BFing books either. I believe I got most of my pumping advice here. There are BFing books dedicated to working moms that probably have more about pumping.

  • Thanks. Brazelton is the 'classic" one that we were essentially trained on in my peds residency. I will check out some of the other ones you mentioned too, just to see. He really does have an attitude. 
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  • I really hate sleep books. Most are condescending at best, and alarmist at worst. And of course every author thinks all the others are crazy or stupid! I read two, ended up throwing one across the room, and now try to get my info from here. :-)
  • People say not to read the books, but I just can't stop myself, I'm a researchaholic.  I've read AP books and sleep training books and everything in between.  What has actually worked for me might not work for someone else.  The only book I think works 99% of the time is happiest baby on the block, I've only heard one person who didn't like it and she didn't even use it so who knows :)

    Info on pumping, check out Working without Weaning.  Got me through the tough times and am still Bfing past one year while working fulltime.

    Ditto this board being the best resource though, even when I *know* what to do because I've read about it, nesties are still my #1.  And yes, my DH too sometimes asks, "what do your nesties think?"

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  • Thank you! I do love Happiest Baby, Dh and I watched the DVD and i have seen it before. Thanks for the pumping rec, I will definitely check it out. And I will continue to ask you guys all my annoying questions!!! Thanks again everyone.
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  • imageamyfelice:
    And I will continue to ask you guys all my annoying questions!!! Thanks again everyone.

    Your questions aren't annoying at all! We *all* had them and continue to ask :) You're also able to help us from the medical standpoint as well... so it all works out for everyone! Keep on asking!

    AND I love the name Elana..... so cute :)

    I'm a read-a-holic... the only way I can get away from reading all those books (and second guessing myself because of them) is to figure something else to 'obsess' about... right now it's knitting (well, while miss J sleeps).

  • I read nothing and in my experience? DH and I were/are much more relaxed and calm parents than the people I knew that devoured every book. They thought they had all these tools at their disposal that would work - and they don't work for every kid. So then they'd panic that their kid is crying and all the S's from the Happiest Baby on the Block aren't working and omg, it's anarchy. Blech.

    I skimmed Healthy Sleep Habits when Sabrina was about 4 months old and it did help me identify sleep cues we were missing and get her on an appropriate schedule for her. I don't remember thinking he has an attitude, but then again I have an attitude so I probably wouldn't notice.

    Just go with the flow. The only parenting book I recommend is "Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay."  Parenting books are like diet books - if one worked, there would be no need for any others, right? Save your money. 

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