Was it love at first sight or did it take a while to click?

Beccaboo0713 · August 2009

With me I had a rough time towards the end trying to push him out. He was sunny side up and as stubborn as the day is long and when I finally got him out I was exhausted. They laid him directly on my chest but I was too tired and in too much shock to register the moment very clearly. Then they took him off to NICU and me off to recovery. I didn't see him for 9 hours. When I did see him I thought he was precious and I wanted to hold him ( I couldn't) but I don't think the love clicked. It might have been the NICU setting, the fact that I couldn't hold him, or whatever but he didn't feel like mine. It actually took me 10 weeks for him to feel like mine and for my love to "click". It's not that I didn't love him before that, it's just that my love for him was not that strong mothering love that you hear about. Now, however, my heart swells with so much love for him I sometimes break down into tears just because I love him so much. So what about you? Am I just an odd person or are there others that took a while for your love to "click"?

BearkatLou · August 2009

You are definitely not an odd person. It took me a long time to bond with Web.

erino&chrish · August 2009

I had a c/s, so they popped him over the curtain for about 3 seconds when he was born, let me kiss him once he was cleaned off then wisked him away, then I was so doped up on morphine I slept the first hour in recovery while LO was in the warmer. I was so drugged up I don't remember but I know I really loved him. Then the first 3 weeks or so were so tough I just went through the motions. I finally feel a bond in the last week or so where I can't wait for him to wake up and I like to snuggle with him. So, in short: it took me awhile.

KSimone619 · August 2009

I took me a little while... I remember the first night, DH brought her to the nursery and when he came back I was crying b/c I couldn't remember what she looked like, and I felt liek a terrible mother!!!

katie_cj · August 2009

LOL! I thought I was going to be talking about me and my FI. Silly me.

No, it wasn't love at first sight. I went from 6cm to having him in 30 minutes. It just happened to fast. When they put him on me, I was definately still processing. It wasn't until our second night around 5am that I was holding him and FI was sleeping. I was holding Jacob and he was sleeping and I just knew that I loved him so much.

jen_and_scott · August 2009

I cried around day 5 because I didn't "love her like I was supposed to" whatever that means. I couldn't explain to DH what that meant, except I must be a bad mom because of it.

It wasn't until about 4-5w til I really loved loved her.

peeper72 · August 2009

It's not abnormal to feel like this.

After she was born, I was exhausted even though I got that great rush of hormones that wiped out the pain! She was with peds for a little while (I don't know how long, honestly) and then I got to hold her. All I could think to do was stare at her and kiss her forehead. then I remembered to get her on the boob right away!

For about the first 4-5 days I felt like I was just baby sitting for someone else. It completely didn't register that she was ours for forever.

smellycat15 · August 2009

I had a similar experience. DD had to go to the NICU right away. I held her for 2 minutes maybe and off she went. I didn't cry when she came out or when I saw her. I didn't feel the motherly love right away. I didn't get to see her until the next morning because I had her at 8pm and had to stay in bed while DH took the family down to see her. She didn't really feel like my baby when she was in the NICU. I knew I had her but there wasnt a much of a connection. It might have been the setting and her on all the monitors.

I don't know exactly when the motherly love kicked in but its there. I tear up all the time when I talk to her or play with her because I love her so much. I never asked DH about it or really told him how I felt. I wasnt worried about it. I love her more than anything else and I'm nervous about loving the second baby as much as i love her since she was the first.

brideofscowboy · August 2009

It took me a while to click with DS. I had an emergency c/s and didn't get to see DS until about 3 hours after he was born when I woke up. (I didn't have a spinal block/epi, I was put right under on general anesthesia). I missed those first moments and I felt terribly guilty about it at first as if I had failed miserably as a mother already.

I think there is soo much pressure put on women about what our ideal L&D and what life with baby should be like. I didn't feel an insta-bond with DS in the beginning.

Now that's a totally different story. I don't even know how to express how much I love him...it's literally indescribable. For me, having a baby, once I finally bonded with him, was like falling in love all over again without ever having lost a previous love.

txbabs111 · August 2009

DD passed meconium in utero so when she was born, she went straight to the warmer so they could check her. When I did finally get to hold her I remember thinking "oh sh!t, what did we do?" It got better throughout the next few days. Now I laugh when I look back at that moment.

HockeyWife4Life · August 2009

I thought I would cry the minute she came out but I was in disbelief that she was finally here and that I had given birth to her! I really felt a love for her when I got up to nurse her in the middle of the night. Our bonding really began with BFing. A feeling came over me like I had never felt before. It was amazing! My love for DD grows more and more every day.

IU_baby · August 2009

I think it took us both a while to get used to each other. I was figuring out how to care for a baby and be a mom and he was figuring out his new surroundings.

Of course I loved him and wanted to protect him and care for him, but it took me a while to feel like his mama and really be in love with him. I'm with you, sometimes I just look at him now and start crying because I love him so much.

2bejunebride06 · August 2009

It took me a while, probably around 7 or 8 weeks, to feel connected to her. Before that I knew I loved her, but I was really just going through the motions more than anything else. Don't worry, you are not odd at all.

MiaVonT · August 2009

completely NORMAL ..... at least I think so

I was counting down the days till I emt my LOs ..... I was induced early cuz DD wasn't growing like they thought (they were wrong) and I cried cuz I was scared for her as any mother would have been ... after a PITA labor as soon as she came out Dr asked "wanna see her?" I screamed NO get the other one out!!! And I didn't see them for like 2 hrs after wards .. I was sooooo exhausted and ditched my "plan: to nurse ASAP

I seen them, held them, nursed them ... but didn't feel like they were mine totally .. I was detached from the world ... maybe it was a lil baby blues n PPD .... but now? you even look at 'em *** eyed and I'll knock ya out! lol

I thought the love I had for DH was strong ... willing to take a bullet for him .... but now ... the love I have for them .... I'd take 100!!!!

Shellbelle22 · August 2009

I took me 5-7 weeks to really bond with her the way you hear about. And I read that giving birth naturally and breastfeeding make you bond right away due to the hormones. I call BS. I gave birth with no pain meds, nursed her for her 1st week of life, and I didn't bond right away.

mommabarker09 · August 2009

It was love at first sight for me. I will never forget holding him for the first time and just staring at each other for what seemed like years. Big Smile

electricdoctor83 · August 2009

I was blessed to be able to hold my LO within minutes of having him. The nurses did most of their assessment with him on my belly and then he was taken to the warmer in the room for a short time since his temp was dropping.

I think that I had an immense feeling of love for him immediately after he was born, but the real bonding happened our first night together. My DH actually went to work that night (he workes 3rd shift) and when DH said goodbye and left the room it was just me and Jack in a dim room....that's where I knew I loved him and the true bonding starting.

I cry just thinking about sitting on that hospital bed alone staring at him. It was a really neat moment. The nurses at my hospital only came in my room if I called at night, even if they needed vitals they had to wait. I loved my hospital, they really promoted bonding and letting the moms sleep.

TrumpetBride · August 2009

I don't think you are odd at all. For me, it was absolutely love at first sight. I had a c-section and as soon as they took him out I couldn't take my eyes off him.

Also, I know exactly what you mean about being so happy and full of love it is overwhelming and it breaks you into tears. It's almost a weird reverse PPD.

Gen Devine · August 2009

We bonded with him within the first day or two. I actually think FI fell head over heels in love with him the first day, it took me until the second.

jenella17 · August 2009

Took me a while too. And when I tell people IRL about this they don't seem to get it or they are too embarrased to say.

Now I'm like where has this kid been all my life! I just can't get enough of her!

raisbaib · August 2009

It still hasn't "clicked" for me. I mean I love her and all but still don't feel a bond.

vegetarian_chica · August 2009

YES!!! LOVE AT 1ST SIGHT!

MrsSchoon04 · August 2009

I was so drugged up after an emergency c-section that I barely remember the first time I held him. : ( It took me a few days to feel a strong bond.

sasa625 · August 2009

I'm just starting to feel the true bond... of course, I was in love the moment they put her on my chest, but she was a week and a half early (and labor was pretty fast), and I honestly don't think I had time to process everything. But I definitely love her more each and every day!

*KC*luvs*RJ* · August 2009

It was definitely love at first sight for me. As soon as I heard his first cries, as they took him out, I started crying too because the whole thing became real to me. I think it's the only thing that's keeping me sane through all these freaking growth spurts!

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