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WWYD?

dblhappinessdblhappiness
in Northern California Babies

I'm not too sure if it's a phase or if something happened and I just didn't take notice, but it's been getting worse as time has gone on. Aiden has disliked going out on errands to Target & Costco...Safeway or any other grocery store was tolerated but now it's almost worse. Recently, we did a bunch of errands where we needed to return something to Costco--we got into the parking lot and he screamed and yelled and wanted to go 'that way' (the opposite direction). DH ran in and did the return and I stayed in the car...he calmed down somewhat. We went on to the next...TJs...and we walked across the parking lot towards the store...got in about 5 feet and he threw another fit (crying/screaming/yelling). He wanted out and made a dash for the door and ended up pulling me back to the car.

I tried to do a Target run today...started heading into the parking lot and the screams & crying started...luckily, DH was in the same area so I snagged him to finish my errands and turned around with the boys.

I think in today's episode, Aiden was tired. But in every other trek we've done, I time it so it's in the morning and they have a snack on the way there or at the store while we shop and it somewhat buys me some time.

I just don't know if this is something we need to work thru--and do I just keep trying it and hope that he comes around? I really don't get why in the past few months this has been getting to be a bigger problem. Sad

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Re: WWYD?

  • m&m818m&m818
    Oh no! That doesn't sound like fun at all. No real advice. I hope its a stage and he gets through it quickly.
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  • bunchbunch member

    Could you try to limit it to one errand a day and have some really fun activity after?  I know I've started going to new parks near my errands- so S knows that we're going to a new playground after XYZ- I have NO idea if that would help, but maybe?

    It sounds really stressful- I'm sorry you are going through it...

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  • dblhappinessdblhappiness
    imagebunch:

    Could you try to limit it to one errand a day and have some really fun activity after?  I know I've started going to new parks near my errands- so S knows that we're going to a new playground after XYZ- I have NO idea if that would help, but maybe?

    It sounds really stressful- I'm sorry you are going through it...

    I usually do limit it to one errand a day...I feel lame like that but just getting them in and out of one place is tiring enough. Wink Yesterday was the one day I decided to be super mom. You're on to something--I haven't done the park after errands in a long time...maybe I'll have to start working that back in. Thanks!

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  • spicy-mustardspicy-mustard

    I HATE going to any store with Owen.  It's never fun!  Although I don't have the parking lot issues, he doesn't get upset until we're headed into to the store/cart.

    He won't sit in the cart and starts to throw things in and out of the cart and yelling. 

    What 'helps' me is I tell him several times that what we're doing, kind of Dora style:  gym, store, playground, gym, store, playground, etc.  Then as we approach each one I give the expectations.  "When we get to the store, you have to sit in the cart.  Mamma will give you a snack when you sit in the cart."  I also repeat this over and over again.  I usually get him a special snack there like popcorn or a muffin. 

    Even so, I know I have a max of 30 minutes in any one place and I'm speeding through like a mad woman.  I have also left my full cart if he doesn't listen. 

    My "Love and Logic" book says that when they throw a fit, you're supposed to leave the store and sit in the car until they calm down and then go back, so they realize that their fit isn't going to get them out of the shopping.  I have not done this, since usually once we get back to the car, I'm exhausted and over it as well.  But I do see the point.

    HUGS!

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  • SweetiePSweetieP
    imagespicy-mustard:

    I HATE going to any store with Owen.  It's never fun!  Although I don't have the parking lot issues, he doesn't get upset until we're headed into to the store/cart.

    He won't sit in the cart and starts to throw things in and out of the cart and yelling. 

    What 'helps' me is I tell him several times that what we're doing, kind of Dora style:  gym, store, playground, gym, store, playground, etc.  Then as we approach each one I give the expectations.  "When we get to the store, you have to sit in the cart.  Mamma will give you a snack when you sit in the cart."  I also repeat this over and over again.  I usually get him a special snack there like popcorn or a muffin. 

    Even so, I know I have a max of 30 minutes in any one place and I'm speeding through like a mad woman.  I have also left my full cart if he doesn't listen. 

    My "Love and Logic" book says that when they throw a fit, you're supposed to leave the store and sit in the car until they calm down and then go back, so they realize that their fit isn't going to get them out of the shopping.  I have not done this, since usually once we get back to the car, I'm exhausted and over it as well.  But I do see the point.

    HUGS!

    I do a lot of this - although I don't think Ryan hates it as much as Aiden does.  I would probably add in the park.  Or maybe the boys could take turns "helping" by being out of the cart? (Scary thought I know but if you only have a couple of things, it might work?)  Ryan does pretty good out of the cart as long as we talk about it all the way to the store:  no running...you have to come when mommy calls you the first time...no crying...no screaming...no hitting...etc.  If you do any of thesethings, you have to sit in the cart.

    Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn;t.

    Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
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  • VandJ-ForeverVandJ-Forever
    Ugh...shopping and errands are getting harder and harder for us too!!! Just recently he's started trying to get out of the carts CONSTENTLY. So far, if I have snacks for him, he'll behave, otherwise, I try to get in and out as quickly as possible. I think it's a stage....at least i hope :)
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  • CelynCelyn member

    Didn't you mention that someone suggested he has sensory issues?  If that's the case, maybe the store is too overwhelming?  I don't have any advice except maybe to talk about it a lot beforehand.  Ryan always does better with advance notice about the things that he's going to experience.  I can only imagine how difficult it must be for all of you.  It's probably gotten worse because he's more aware of the pattern, so the anxiety sets in sooner and more intensely.

    How is he in smaller or less cluttered stores?  

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