Girls that delivered or went to the hospital for m/c please come in

Cow-girl · August 2009

I am trying to start a new "ministry" at my church with our local hospital for women going thru PL/MC. I want to get "packets" of stuff together like I was given when I delivered Grace.

I would like to know if you received anything from the hospital - what was it - what would you have liked to receive.? What was the most meaningful to you.

I wanted to get other opinions on it so I could include the things that really help women get thru. I know what helped me but would like to see what helped you ladies.

Thank you, I know this is a sensitive subject. But if I can help one person but giving them the gift of something that can help them thru what we have been thru I will be happy.

CanonMom · August 2009

I got an awesome booklet, with messages from other women who experienced the same thing. I also recieved a Teal butterfly Pin to signify my loss. Its beautiful. Also I got a card with the "In those few weeks" poem .

I have to say, I carry my pin everywhere I go.

lax15bsu · August 2009

I lost my second baby, a boy at 14 wks, at the hospital. While I know that mine is still considered an early loss, the gried counselor who visited me before I was released asked us if we wanted to name our baby. She made up two name certificates with our baby's name and date of birth. She also gave me a stuffed baby lamb, an 'its a boy' pin, and a blue blanket made by some group called the Linus Project. I wrapped the lamb up in the blanket like a baby and held it while I sobbed my heart out. It was helpful to me to have something small and soft to hold onto in my deepest despair.

So Long Astoria · August 2009

I had my inpatient D&C on Thursday night and they gave me a package of information about "when your baby dies" which I thought was really....disturbing. Mostly because I think there is a stark difference between a miscarriage at 8 weeks and having a "baby die". I dunno, people will probably disagree with me, but I threw the pamphlets away. I didn't feel like it applied to me at all.

3ltlones · August 2009

The thing that actually meant the most to me was the time that my OB and the anesthesiologist spent with me. The anesthesiologist sat with me and helped me pick a funeral home to cremate Zoe at. That meant alot to me, actually when we were in the preop room I asked about cremation and the guy that did the paperwork told us "the baby would be considered medical waste and disposed of appropriately" I was devestated when I heard that, so I think something that says that you can have your baby cremated is a good thing. I recieved some papers on how to grieve, which were kind of helpful, it talked about how to explain it to my other children, which I had already done. But, I think one helpful thing is knowing about the cremation. Good luck with the planning, I think it sounds wonderful.

laurncui812.0 · August 2009

I got a small outfit (a little white gown and blue knit cap) for Caleb from an organization....I think they were called Tiny Threads? It was nice to have something to put on him since I had just walked across the street from my doctors office and really wasn't prepared. We had him cremated but it was nice that he wasnt just a body with a tag going to the funneral home.

vkbaby09 · August 2009

I think you're doing a really great thing. I know that not having any real forewarning that I was going to deliver, I was not prepared with anything for when my boys arrived. I feel very fortunate for the support and things my hospital gave me.

Like pp said, having compassionate medical professionals makes a huge difference. It might be nice to type up a page about how to deal with families experiencing the loss of their baby. Most people I'm sure are nice, and in my case pretty much everyone was, but I've heard that there is little to no training on the emotions associated with the "darker side" of the L&D floor.

Besides awesome nurses, drs and chaplains/grief counselors, my hospital gave me two memory boxes made with hand-made paper. They're about 12"x6" and have spaces for two photos on the doors when you open them and came in an off-white color and a light green. They contained a box for hand and feet prints in clay with their info on the other part of that. Also inside were a handmade knit cap and small blanket that were both perfect sizes for my almost 23-weekers. The nurses put a measuring tape with their head measurement and length on it and their hospital wristbands that they never got to wear. The boxes are made by Memories Unlimited, Inc. I don't know if the knit hats and blankets were by them too or if another organization provides them.

Because we decided to have them baptised at the hospital by the hospital chaplain, they gave us a bunch more things/memorabilia. Each of my boys got a little cloth bag with a cross and shell on it full of a little teddy bear with the same emblem, two candles/candleholders - one a really pretty celtic-looking cross and a glass star, a white cross ornament that we can put on our Christmas tree, a little silk baggy with a seed in clay that we can plant in our garden, a small plastic dove, a fake white rose petal and a sea-glass heart that the chaplain said is the hardest kind of glass because it's made by rolling around on the floor of the ocean, but is really beautiful and solid just as life is very hard especially with losing a baby, but we will come out a lot stronger and as better, more beautiful people.

The hospital also gave us their footprints with all their stats, a baptism document and a blanket like what they were wrapped in. I guess the only thing that I kinda wish I had from them was a little onesie or shirt to put them in. I know they are very small, but it would have been nice to dress them once.

Oh yeah, they also gave me a folder with a bunch of info on grief and dealing the loss of a baby. There was a little booklet for dads and one geared toward moms. The folder included a lot of contact for organizations and the info for our support group.

I am so grateful for all we received and think it's important to have these things because they are the things that we made memories with our boys with. They are the only things we have of them besides their pictures. Maybe you can make sure that the local hospitals have a good digital camera and photo printer/paper. I clung to the pics my nurses took of us and our boys and still cherish them as much as my NILMDTS photos.

Thanks again for doing this. I think I'm going to eventually volunteer for NILMDTS and SHARE if possible. This is definitely a cause that I'm super close to and passionate about now.

KymburleeK · August 2009

I know not everyone is fortunate enough to get to know if they are having a boy or a girl in these situations. But when I left the hospital one of my favorite things was that the nurses made us a baby sized beaded bracelet with our baby's name spelled out in beads. I made a shadow box with it and look at it all the time. I just really felt like they acknowlegded her life by doing that.

Holanchi · August 2009

We didn't go in expecting to lose the babies so we weren't prepared at all when we delivered them. The hospital provided clothing for the babies to be dressed in for us to view them. They also told us that they would create a shadow box for us, but we declined. The nurse offered to create name tags for the babies, but I couldn't bear to say their names out loud at the time.

They also gave me a packet of information, how to care for myself physically after the delivery, information on a memorial service they have every October for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Month. Local resources to contact if we felt we needed assistance. We also received a book: Empty Arms, Coping with miscarriage, still birth and infant death by Sherokee Ilse. I actually liked the book, it's set up in a Q&A format, so it's easy to skip around and read only what applies/interests you.

Want a personalized experience?

Girls that delivered or went to the hospital for m/c please come in

Re: Girls that delivered or went to the hospital for m/c please come in

Choose Another Board

Search Boards