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No Doula (sort of long)

Bleeding_HeartBleeding_Heart member
in Pregnant after a Loss

Last week I met with the lady who was going to be our Doula. She was very helpful and sweet. ?She gave us a lot of information and relayed a lot from her experience over the years.

I was under the impression that she needed hours to complete her re-certification process and was going to use our birth for those hours. ?DH and I felt badly that she would be spending so much time with us for virtually nothing -- so as a thank you we told her that would do a Family Photo Session for her and give her a nice Canvas print (this would be around $400 in value - but wouldn't cover her normal Doula fee).

During our meeting, it turns out that she IS going through her re-certification process, however she wasn't planning on using our birth for her hours and was under the impression that we wanted to barter?for her services.

I felt really uncomfortable about it and was really embarrassed. ?As a business owner I would be upset if someone wanted to barter for a Wedding Photography Package instead of paying our set fees! ?Anyways, I just sent her an email explaining the situation and telling her how I felt, but that at this time we cannot afford her services.

I am disappointed about not having her there at the birth, but I know I can get through this regardless.

So... bummer. ??

?

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Re: No Doula (sort of long)

  • AmysMelodyAmysMelody
    That's unfortunate.  I hate when you get so excited about something and then it ends up not working out.  Sad
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  • honeybeeehoneybeee

    I'm sorry hon!  That really stinks that it ended up that way.  Have you thought about trying to find someone else that needs hours for their certification?  Also, a lot of doulas will work on a sliding scale as part of what DONA (doula organization) believes is that every woman who wants a doula should have one.  Just something to think about.  At this point in my pregnancy, I am so glad we hired a doula.  She has been fabulous, and I was about to have a breakdown yesterday about not having any progress, and she calmed me down and we've made arrangements to try some alternative medicine practices before my induction.  Just wanted to throw in my two cents!  Again, I'm sorry you had a bad experience with this woman. :(

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  • mikkimikeymikkimikey member
    What did she mean barter?  What did she want you to pay??
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  • Bleeding_HeartBleeding_Heart member

    imageMikkiSeptember:
    What did she mean barter?? What did she want you to pay??

    Her regular fee which was like $800. ??

    ETA, not that thats outrageously high or anything - we just weren't planning for that extra expense. ??

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  • mikkimikeymikkimikey member
    imageBleeding_Heart:

    imageMikkiSeptember:
    What did she mean barter?  What did she want you to pay??

    Her regular fee which was like $800.   

    ETA, not that thats outrageously high or anything - we just weren't planning for that extra expense.   

    Oh, I understand now.  That's quite an uncomfortable situation to be put in.  Are you going to try to look for another one?

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  • Bleeding_HeartBleeding_Heart member
    imageMikkiSeptember:
    imageBleeding_Heart:

    imageMikkiSeptember:
    What did she mean barter?? What did she want you to pay??

    Her regular fee which was like $800. ??

    ETA, not that thats outrageously high or anything - we just weren't planning for that extra expense. ??

    Oh, I understand now.? That's quite an uncomfortable situation to be put in.? Are you going to try to look for another one?

    I don't know...

    I just feel exhausted right now. ?Maybe next week I'll think about it more and make a decision. ?:) ?Too tired for this. ??

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  • mikkimikeymikkimikey member
    imageBleeding_Heart:
    imageMikkiSeptember:
    imageBleeding_Heart:

    imageMikkiSeptember:
    What did she mean barter?  What did she want you to pay??

    Her regular fee which was like $800.   

    ETA, not that thats outrageously high or anything - we just weren't planning for that extra expense.   

    Oh, I understand now.  That's quite an uncomfortable situation to be put in.  Are you going to try to look for another one?

    I don't know...

    I just feel exhausted right now.  Maybe next week I'll think about it more and make a decision.  :)  Too tired for this.   

    Haha, totally understandable :)

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