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Baby Showers

misswhit85misswhit85
in 2nd Trimester
I was told when having my first child (8 1/2 years ago) that planning and throwing yourself a baby shower is not proper ettiquette however I have quite a few friends who are planning their own now. Is this taboo or normal?
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Re: Baby Showers

  • Alyssajoy87Alyssajoy87 member
    I think it's much, much more common now than it was a few years ago. I keep hearing about women how are planning their own.
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  • honeybee111honeybee111 member
    No, I still think throwing your own shower is poor etiquette.  The point of a shower is to give gifts, so if you throw it yourself, it's like you're asking people to give you gifts - not good.
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  • jkfranklinjkfranklin member

    imagehoneybee111:
    No, I still think throwing your own shower is poor etiquette.  The point of a shower is to give gifts, so if you throw it yourself, it's like you're asking people to give you gifts - not good.

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  • tklmechris98tklmechris98
    I mean technically they shouldn't be. ?Someone should do it for them but I guess if they live far away, have no family or friends what other options do they have? If that's even possible. I'm thinking that is why they are or they are control freaks and don't want anyone taking over something like that for them. ::shrugs::
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  • soontobecapeksoontobecapek member

    imagehoneybee111:
    No, I still think throwing your own shower is poor etiquette.  The point of a shower is to give gifts, so if you throw it yourself, it's like you're asking people to give you gifts - not good.

    have you ever planned your own bday gtg/party? same thing... it is more common now though OP

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  • skylined21skylined21
    Though i am not "throwing my own shower" i am very involved in the planning with my mom and MIL
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  • mattandbekahmattandbekah
    Im not sure i would say its normal, but its not rare anymore.  My SIL pretty much planned her own, although her mom helped.
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  • whit022109whit022109 member
    um no, this is very tacky. "hi everyone, lets get together so you can bring me presents!"
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  • honeybee111honeybee111 member
    imagesoontobecapek:

    imagehoneybee111:
    No, I still think throwing your own shower is poor etiquette.  The point of a shower is to give gifts, so if you throw it yourself, it's like you're asking people to give you gifts - not good.

    have you ever planned your own bday gtg/party? same thing... it is more common now though OP

    I've never thrown my own birthday party.  My last big birthday party was my 30th and DH planned it.  Anyways, in our circle of friends, we usually just go out to dinner, no presents.  Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been to a birthday party hosted by the birthday person.  It's always the spouse/significant other/roommate/etc. who sends out the invitation.  Maybe it's just us, though.  I do see your point how it is the same thing.

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  • SarahSmile907SarahSmile907 member
    This always irks me when people basically say you are dirt for planning your own shower.  I'm sorry, but you are asking for gifts by registering for them and showing up to your shower, whether you have a part in planning it or not.  I am fortunate enough to have my mom volunteer but others are not so fortunate.  I feel for those people that get flamed for planning their own shower, clearly they aren't going to be happy about the fact that no one can/will throw them, do we really need to make them feel worse by telling them they are being selfish and greedy doing it themself?  Seriously people, I just went to a shower that my neighbor threw herself because her family doesn't have the money to do it for her.  So she did it, no one cared, it was a lovely celebration with all her friends and family.
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  • Desmond&MollyJonesDesmond&MollyJones
    What?  Taboo.
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  • ScissorTailedFlycatcherScissorTailedFlycatcher member
    imageAmbsies:

    I stick with what the etiquette sites say (and you can find a lot of info by just typing "baby shower etiquette" into google).? Throwing yourself a shower is extremely tacky IMO.? I know that showers are mainly about "showering" someone in gifts, but if you yourself are throwing the shower it just looks like a gift grab.

    One site says this:

    A.It's true that "proper etiquette rules" have relaxed a great deal sinceEmily Post, especially for baby showers. However, in the world of babyshower etiquette, most people would consider it really tacky to hostyour own shower. Showers can be given by most anybody these days butare usually hosted by a girlfriend or a grandma-to-be. If you haveenough friends and relatives to attend a shower, I bet someone amongthat group will throw one for you. If you don't hear of any plans, trydropping some subtle hints.

    I agree with this. I was lucky to not have to worry about it too much, but I wouldn't consider throwing my own. The site is right... If you have enough friends/family to attend the shower, chances are, one of them will step up and host it, too.?

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  • Desmond&MollyJonesDesmond&MollyJones

    imagetklmechris98:
    I mean technically they shouldn't be.  Someone should do it for them but I guess if they live far away, have no family or friends what other options do they have? If that's even possible. I'm thinking that is why they are or they are control freaks and don't want anyone taking over something like that for them. ::shrugs::

    If you have no family or friends, then who are you going to get the gifts from?  Who are you going to invite?  The Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus?

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  • 12bailey1812bailey18 member
    Taboo if gifts are expected. Period.?

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  • misswhit85misswhit85

    Thanks ladies, honestly, even if it weren't taboo I would feel too weird throwing one for myself. My hubby is in the military and we're about 1200 miles from family and my close friends so I will probably register for baby items knowing I won't have a shower. But I know my family and friends back home might want to buy the baby something so at least they'll be able to look at my registry and get an idea of what I need.

     I have an aquanitance who is throwing her own shower (even though she's got loads of friends) and she litterally posts things daily on facebook saying "we still need this, this, and this for our baby, come on guys! PLEASE RSVP for my shower!" It blows my mind.

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  • jshfjshf member
    I don't think that it should be so frowned upon to have your own shower.  My sisters are technically hosting my shower, but my husband and I are doing a lot of the planning and also are paying for the decorations, food, etc.  We're spending about $750 for the party, so I didn't want my sisters to have to pay for everything.  Your friends and family are going to buy you those gifts anyway.  I think the party is a nice way to say thank you to them for buying it for you.  The other thing is I don't know about you guys, but the shower is not about the presents, it's about celebrating with my friends and family. 
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