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Need your opinions - Spanking

TiffaniLaineTiffaniLaine
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Hi Ladies.  I am doing my final paper for my Psych class on spanking.  Hoping to get your views for my paper.  I am questioning the 0-6, 6-12, 3 trimester and the todler boards for some rounded opinions!

 Do you Spank/Plan to spank your children?

Why or Why not?

If no, do you believe that in certain situations this would be acceptable?

Did your parents/other Adult figures help to influence your decision to spank/not spank your children?

 Thanks a ton girls!

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Re: Need your opinions - Spanking

  • KnittyKnitty
    No, because it doesn't work and undercuts the 'we don't hit' message. It is never acceptable.
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  • CaitlinJ22CaitlinJ22 member

    imageKnitty:
    No, because it doesn't work and undercuts the 'we don't hit' message. It is never acceptable.

    this exactly

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  • userdeleteduserdeleted member

    1) Yes, if necessary, in certain situations, such as when there is an immediate danger and I need his immediate compliance.

    2) Yes see above

    3) No, the research that I read when I was in college (as a psych major!) had more of an influence

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  • QuazelQuazel member
    imageRach03k:

    1) Yes, if necessary, in certain situations, such as when there is an immediate danger and I need his immediate compliance.

    2) Yes see above

    3) No, the research that I read when I was in college (as a psych major!) had more of an influence

    Exactly this except I was an education major/psych minor.

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  • Skipperg82Skipperg82 member

    1) I don't plan to use it as the main tool of discipline

    2) THe only situation where I could ever see myself spanking is if DS was being mouthy and swore at me.  I don't think "now honey, we don't say stuff like that" works as effectively.  Other than that, if he was getting into something or ignoring me there are other ways to handle the situation

    3) My parents spanked us only a few times, in certain sitautions, but nothing I can really remember.  My mom punished us by taking away toys, clothes, makeup, etc.  That had more of an effect on me than any physical punishment. 

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  • LoveTekLoveTek member
    No, I'm not planning on spanking DD or any other children we may have.  How can I teach her it's not okay to hit people when I hit her?  Aside from that, I think there are a lot of other effective forms of discipline that we can use.  No, I don't think it's acceptable in certain situations (at least not for my family - I'm not judging those who spank or plan to).  It just doesn't make sense to me and I don't agree with the whole "needing to get immediate attention" argument.  Then I'd just be teaching her that it's okay to hit someone if she really needs their attention.
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  • lawry13lawry13 member

    No I don't plan on spanking my child.

    I don't think it is effective in the long run (have seen my nephews laugh at my sister when she does it-which is way more often than she would need to).

     My parents spanked only every once in a while but the fear of being spanked was enough to make me fear them sometimes.  I don't want DD to fear me.  I want her to behave and be respectful, but won't spank her.

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  • JulyFiveBrideJulyFiveBride member

     Do you Spank/Plan to spank your children?
    Nope.

    Why or Why not?
    I was abused as a child and it started off as spanking and escalated from there. Because I was abused, I am at a higher risk of abusing my children. Not that I think I ever would, but why even start down that path? Aside from that, I don't think punishment is the best way to teach your children and hope to use more Gentle Discipline practices.

    If no, do you believe that in certain situations this would be acceptable?
    One of my good friends does spank and I absolutely believe it is out of love and they are doing what they think is best. I don't look down on them for it and would never say they are bad parents or abusing their kids or anything like that. I think they are excellent parents, so I guess, yes, I think it's acceptable sometimes.

    Did your parents/other Adult figures help to influence your decision to spank/not spank your children?
    Sort of. Like I said, I was abused as a child, so that convinced me that I didn't want to be like my parents. DH's dad said something that really stuck with me. He didn't spank a lot and never hurt his kids (DH told me they used to fake cry, then go upstairs and laugh about it) but when we were discussing spanking he said "if I could go back and re-do parenthood, I never would have spanked. I regret it now." Which is interesting because DH has NO bad memories of it (he even laughs about it), but FIL does.

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  • kruegs1982kruegs1982
    Do you Spank/Plan to spank your children? No.Why or Why not?  Being a high school teacher I have come across many situations where I really badly wish I could spank a student but obviously I didn't.  Knowing that was not an option, I came up with other solutions to solve the problem so I know it's possible.  If no, do you believe that in certain situations this would be acceptable?  Possibly but I would like to think no.  I have never yet had to discipline my child so I can't say I never will.Did your parents/other Adult figures help to influence your decision to spank/not spank your children?  Not really.  My parents spanked a little.  My dad spanked me only once growing up and to this day I remember it like it was yesterday but I can't remember why he spanked me.  To me, this makes no sense.  My mom would slap me across the face sometimes if I said a bad word or said something really rude. 
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  • adamwifeadamwife

     Do you Spank/Plan to spank your children?  Yes, but only my older son.  My baby is too little.  We didn't start spanking the older one until he was well over 1.

    Why or Why not?  Timeouts don't work with him at this stage.  Sometimes a spanking is the only think that will snap him out of his tantrum and get his attention.

    If no, do you believe that in certain situations this would be acceptable?

    Did your parents/other Adult figures help to influence your decision to spank/not spank your children?  No.  Both my DH and I were spanked as children and I always thought I wouldn't spank, but it came down to a personality thing.  My son is the kind of kid that doesn't respond to timeouts, but does well with a spanking.  My baby may be completely different and we may never need to spank him.  I think it's the kind of thing you have to do on a case by case basis.  Just like when they are older - some kids respond well to groundings or by taking certain priveleges away and some need harsher punishments.

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