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Working Moms
new job, less time with baby?
I just got an offer to join MIT as a research scientist. This is probably the best career opportunity will EVER happen to me.But...my commute will be 1.5hr x 2 almost every day, which means I will not see my 1yo that much.Also, we were thinking of building a new house close to where we currently live, and now I am not so sure about that anymore.
Except for the prestige of working in a great institute with great people, the pay will be comparable to my current salary and the job description will also be similar.I am lost. How do I make a decision? Can I sacrifice time with my baby for a career?
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Re: new job, less time with baby?
How do you feel about your current job? Do you think you would be happier in this new position, even with the awful commute?
Even if this is the BEST career opportunity, might there be a not-quite-the-best-but-close career opportunity that wouldn't require so much sacrifice? I had what I thought was an awesome career opportunity about 3 years ago, and turned it down (in part because I found out DD was on the way)... and I'm so glad I did, because an even better career opportunity came along not too long after that. AND, the second opportunity offered far better work/life balance than the first one!
If you turn this job down, they will find someone else to replace you, and never look back. You're just another worker to them. If you take it, and you're away from your child, s/he will NOT find someone else to replace you. To your baby, you're everything.
If you don't make it as far in your career as you're capable of, because you prioritized time with your family over time at work, how would you feel? Would you feel good knowing that those are the right priorities for you? Or would you feel sad or cheated?
What does your DH do? He's gonna have to step up big-time if you take this job... is he ready for that?
It's a tough choice... I can't tell you how to make that decision. It's really up to you, and your DH, to figure out the right path. Good luck.
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
I did the Boston commuter rail commute for a bit (pre baby) and it took me 1 hour 45 minutes to get to work and the same to get home. A lot of this has to do with train schedules and where I lived vs. where in Boston I was going. But I know I could not do that now with DS. The reason I left my job in Boston was to have a shorter commute and the ability to drive to and from work, which gives me some flexibility. Some people are ok with long commutes and having a kid, but I knew it would just make me so upset every day to not get home until 6:15 when I left work at 4:30. If you could move closer to Cambridge or to a town along the commuter rail line so it would only give you a 30-40 minute ride, I would say that would be a better option.
It's hard because of the name of MIT. I work in higher ed and I do sometimes see jobs posted at some of the very prestigious colleges and think it would be great to work there, but I really don't want to throw in that commute and get rid of the balance I have right now just for the name of a place.