Girls expecting interracial babies

mooeta · August 2009

My DH and I were having a talk last night about what the baby might look like. He and I are both aware that our LO could come in any shade of the rainbow, from very dark to white. I'm kinda worried about my IL's reaction if the baby is very dark. I can see them telling my DH to get a paternity test. I'm preparing for the worst but hoping or the best. I don't care what color our LO is but I just don't want her skin color to cause more family drama. Anyone else thinking about this?

bklyn_trini · August 2009

what is yours and DH's racial makeup that would cause a reaction to the complexion of your baby?

MsMoseley · August 2009

Honestly,

As long and you and your husband are in love with your baby..Who gives a sh** what your inlaws think about the pigment of the baby?...If her skin color causes drama, then maybe you need to be re-evaluating your family instead of them evaluating your baby... ( Just my personal opinion )

maryannelise · August 2009

I think it's normal to wonder about it, but we don't dwell on it. It doesn't matter at all to us. My parents are very aware of all the different shades of skin color that the baby could have, and will love him/her no matter what.

a4smith · August 2009

We think about this all the time but just for fun. Don't worry about the IL's, this is your baby and you need to enjoy it. We always wonder if the baby will get my blue eyes and his dark curls...you just never know! It makes it so interesting.

Bubbles1022 · August 2009

MsMoseley:

Honestly,

As long and you and your husband are in love with your baby..Who gives a sh** what your inlaws think about the pigment of the baby?...If her skin color causes drama, then maybe you need to be re-evaluating your family instead of them evaluating your baby... ( Just my personal opinion )

I completely agree!!! We are all (us, friends and family) hoping that our baby gets some of my H's darker skin because his dark hispanic skin is sooo beautiful! Plus I'm super pasty white lol.

mooeta · August 2009

bklyn_trini:
what is yours and DH's racial makeup that would cause a reaction to the complexion of your baby?

I am black, mexican, native american, German and Welsh. He's polish, italian, and irish.

We don't care about what she looks like, but I know from personal experience what it is like to have family have problems with the color your skin and I just don't want that.

beckys96 · August 2009

MsMoseley:

Honestly,

As long and you and your husband are in love with your baby..Who gives a sh** what your inlaws think about the pigment of the baby?...If her skin color causes drama, then maybe you need to be re-evaluating your family instead of them evaluating your baby... ( Just my personal opinion )

I agree - if you inlaws have issues with her skin - I would really think LONG and hard about letting them be a part of her life. Our DD is a perfect combo of both my DH and I. And I am so excited to see what this baby is like. I am sure lots of curly hair again. I really wouldn't worry about what they or others think - just love you kid!

amdicl · August 2009

I am biracial, 1/2 black, 1/2 white and my DD's father is white and my daughter is just a tad bit lighter than me. I have a friend that has almost the same racial breakdown, except his wife is white and he is biracial and their children have light, light blondish brown hair and blue eyes. The only sign that they have that they might be biracial is they both have curly hair, which of course can happen in almost any race. So, to answer your question, no there is no way to "guess" what color your LO might be and if you are concerned about your in-law's reaction, maybe you should mention the chance that the child might be darker than their liking before the child is born. This should be common sense to them, but I guess ignorance is rampant.

NaHoku · August 2009

My mom is white and my dad is Filipino so I am interracial baby. I know my grandparents weren't happy when my mom married my dad - they thought any children they might produce would be pariahs and not fit in with white people and not fit in with Asian people and wouldn't be accepted anywhere.

But as soon as my older sister was born, they saw that she was beautiful just as she was and it wasn't an issue. Nobody can really tell what ethnicity we are - we've been mistaken for Hispanic, Italian, Native American, Japanese and on and on and on.

DS is only 1/4 Asian and someone in DH's hometown once said to us, upon seeing DS, "He looks awfully dark to be a (insert MIL's maiden name here). We just rolled our eyes.

Honestly, if anyone had a problem with the color of my child's skin, I'd probably cut them out of our lives. Yuck. I know that is probably easier said than done though. Good luck.

MrsHK · August 2009

I understand your fear, but you know you can't let others ignorance bother you. I wish more people understood that it wasn't just the mom and dad who the baby could look like. Depending on what other genes are back in your family sometimes the baby could end up not looking like either one of you. (Thinking of these ridiculous Maury shows where people bounce around talking about 'that baby don't look like me!' No sh!t sherlock you're not the only parent).

Anyway, I sympathize too. My cousins are mixed, with my aunt's whiter then white skin and their dad's puerto rican tones. My oldest cousin looks like her dad, the younger one more like mom. At one point they looked the same but as they grew up they formed their own features. The oldest is favored highly and obviously by their dad's family simply because she looks like them. It's not right and I know my aunt has tried so hard to make things even for the girls.

bklyn_trini · August 2009

I only asked because from your description, one of you is dark. I'm thinking you may be since it's your ILs....You are going to be the mother of a beautiful and healthy baby who wants nothing from you but love and support. You and DH love one another and your baby is a product of that. If the ILs have issues, they got issues. Don't let anyone make you or DH feel like something is wrong with your baby based on something as trivial as their color. If they can dislike a baby based on that, do you really want them to be around your baby at all?

Lurksgirl · August 2009

I'm white and my husband is of Indian descent from Trinidad. His dad's family is all mixed up , Indian, Chinese, White and who knows what else. We talk about it all the time who the baby will look like, what colour will the baby's skin be ... we don't really care nor do our families. My dad's family is hardcore Italian and I know how much they love my husband and I know they already love our baby just as much, if not more.

You would be surprised at how people come around. You may be worried about your IL's now, but don't stress over it. They'll love the baby to death once it gets here.

foreignroyalty · August 2009

We don't have any family drama so this wasn't a concern. We were more excited to see what baby looked like than the gender, I think though.

kmtfu · August 2009

we talk about this but not because of drama, well not exactly. he's black and i'm white. my family has been pretty distant from me since we started our relationship 10 years ago but they've all grown to love him, I think. I do have have fears of how baby will be treated, but I don't really think it's because of the how light or dark he'll be, so much as that nobody really gives a crap that we're even expecting. Maybe it is a skin color thing with them, I don't know or really care.

wpowell · August 2009

Most babies are born with lighter skin even when they're parents have dark skin. My friends is white and the father of her baby is black, when there daughter was born she was very white.

Honestly, I really dont think your family is going to care what color your baby is. If either you or your partner have darker skin your family is mostly likely already aware that your baby has a chance of being darker. Hopefully no one will say anything.

tisk*notme · August 2009

It will be your in-law's loss if they choose to harbor those ridiculous feelings.

This child includes their genes and can provide them with endless joy.

I don't spend much time dwelling on this b/c I am so excited and happy about our baby and I can't be bothered thinking about how ignorant people can be. ?As far as minor biases, this will always exist. ?Some people will automatically favor a blonde/blue-eyed child or someone that looks like them or one that they find to be the most beautiful looking. ?That's life.

Your comments about your experience makes me wonder though...I don't know if you care to share any anecdotes but me & my husband are both in a situation where we have no experience in mixed cultures. ?His whole family is from one country and mine another. ?Indian/Irish.

I think some of the most beautiful people & healthiest are from a mixture of all different backgrounds. ?So I think it is very exciting.?

mooeta · August 2009

I guess the reason it worries me so much is because my maternal Grandmother doesn't accept me because of the color of my skin. She has told people that I'm not related to her that I'm a underprivileged child from the inner city sent to the country(aka fresh air child). I understand where she get it, her father was in the KKK and that's how she was raised. I don't have much to do with her and neither will my child, but she is family.

I just hope that my child doesn't have to grow up knowing that someone who is supposed to love her can't because of something she has no control over.

Breezie17 · August 2009

My husband is 1/2 chinese...which obviously only makes her a 1/4 chinese, but I totally thought she would look asian. He has black hair, very dark eyes and a darker complexion. He looks asian, or at least half. I was never concerned about what she would look like, I just assumed she would have darker features. I am blonde and blue eyes.

You can see from her picture in my sig that she 100% looks nothing like him, LOL. She has his lips, thank god, bc I love them. But she has hazel eyes like my mom and her hair color is mine exactly. Her complexion is 100% mine too. Apparently I have some strong genes, LOL. I am so curious how #2 will look now!

Luv-a-Bug · August 2009

What's your relationship with your inlaws like? Maybe you can address these concerns with them before the baby is born, or casually bring it up in conversation about wondering with your very diverse heritage, what the baby's pigmentation will be like. Feel out their reaction ahead of time, maybe it'll help.

blessedinthewest · August 2009

I am not having an interracial baby. Both SO and I are hispanic. But I just wanted to share that I used to work with a girl white as snow. Her husband was also white as snow. They both had light skin, light hair, and blue eyes. They had 3 other children all the same light skin, light hair, light eyes. Then on their 4th she popped out a baby that looked african american.

She tried to convince everyone including her husband that it was just a freak of nature thing....I don't know what ever happened. She was so ridiculed by coworkers I think she quit or something. This was a long time ago.

It was crazy.

Sheeks88 · August 2009

I am black and my husband is white and when our son was born he looked white. My doc told me that we would have to wait until he was about 6 months before we would see what his final complexion would be. I looked like a white baby with a bit of a tan when I was born. I am willing to bet that your baby is going to be very light when he/she is born. Also one of my best friends is 1/4 black and you can not tell at all. If your IL's know anything about genetics, they would know the baby could come out looking like anyone on either side of the family.

tisk*notme · August 2009

mooeta:
I guess the reason it worries me so much is because my maternal Grandmother doesn't accept me because of the color of my skin.? She has told people that I'm not related to her that I'm a underprivileged child from the inner city sent to the country(aka fresh air child).? I understand where she get it, her father was in the KKK and that's how she was raised.? I don't have much to do with her and neither will my child, but she is family.?
I just hope that my child doesn't have to grow up knowing that someone who is supposed to love her can't because of something she has no control over.

If you don't introduce your child to people like your Grandmother than the child is less likely to believe that this person/family member (Great-Grandmother) is supposed to love her. ?

NaHoku · August 2009

Breezie17:
You can see from her picture in my sig that she 100% looks nothing like him, LOL. She has his lips, thank god, bc I love them. But she has hazel eyes like my mom and her hair color is mine exactly. Her complexion is 100% mine too. Apparently I have some strong genes, LOL. I am so curious how #2 will look now!

This is what it is like for me, DH, and DS. I totally thought my Asian genes would dominate. Nope, DS is a little mini-DH, blue eyes and all! My Filipino dad can't believe he has a blue-eyed grandchild.

Prinycesa07 · August 2009

Hopefully you are worrying for nothing and they will fall in love with her no matter what her skin color as soon as they see her.

I do wonder often what our child will look like. But neither family will care about skin color.

I'm not as interested in waht my daughters skin color will be as i am in what her hair will look like. That is honestly what makes me most nervous.

MsTammy · August 2009

DH is 100% Puerto Rican and I am a mixture of a bajillion things, aka "white".

We have 2 boys (pics in siggy). I think they are a pretty good mixture of us both. DS#1 looks like me and has very fair skin. DS#2 looks like his dad and is a little closer to his complexcion too.

We are curious to see who our little girl will look like. DH's grandparents are very dark skinned, and I would love for that to skip a generation into my DD, but I don't think thats happening.

The most I have heard from my family is from my mommom who says DS#2 looks just like his father, "puerto rican". I just smile and say, that's because he is )

S/Cambio · August 2009

MsMoseley:
Honestly,
As long and you and your husband are in love with your baby..Who gives a sh** what your inlaws think about the pigment of the baby?...If her skin color causes drama, then maybe you need to be re-evaluating your family instead of them evaluating your baby... ( Just my personal opinion )

I agree with this!!!

My husband is Italian and I'm German and I'm worried if the baby doesn't come out looking Italian enough his family will make him get a paternity test. Hmm

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