trouble w/baby shower

Re: trouble w/baby shower

• sjp member

  August 2009

  I personally would not hint to anyone (except maybe my sister)--showers are a gift and therefore you shouldnt ask for them or hint for them . . .do you have a very close family member or your mom that could do it?

  BFP#1 twins--m/c Baby B-- DC#1 DS 03/22/05 BFP#2 m/c 2006 BFP#3/DC#2 DD 10/22/09 BFP #4! EDD 9/15/12 at 9 dpo

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• liljooly

  August 2009

  Maybe tell one of your friends that you were thinking of having all the girls over for one last get-together before the baby comes... maybe that would spark a thought like "we should throw her a shower!"

  

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• Brittany Nasn

  August 2009

  i dont live near any family, their in Texas and  Michigan. so they can't host  me one,  thats why i have the prob.

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• dragon_chica member

  August 2009

  You can verrrry subtley (sp?) hint but to ask will just make you look like a gift whore.
  

  

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• howleyshell member

  August 2009

  My thoughts?

  Tacky.

  Asking someone to shell out cash to host a party in your honor?

   

  Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
  Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
  

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• StephB25

  August 2009

  It is so freaking tricky. Here's my story: I unsubtley hinted to my SIL and bro about a co-ed shower.  They were happy to take on the role, and got my 2 BFFs involved.  I feel like a tool when I think about it like that, but I think the people involved appreciate it cause they knew I was happy with the outcome.  (I wouldn't do this with casual friends or relatives/in-laws who might feel differently about the situation.)

  I helped with guest list, date, location, and since usually I am the party thrower (I have the biggest place and am the most "settled" life-wise), I offered to have it catered for them...Then they took it from there...

  So if that makes you feel better...!  Cause if you have your heart set on a shower for the right-of-passage, celebration aspect (not gifts!) why not? 

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• kimberly.kent member

  August 2009

  I had a break down at about 21 weeks cause no one had said anything to me either so I cried on DH's shoulder. About a week later I got a call from one of my best friends offering to head up throwing a shower for us and that she would call my MIL and sister to see if they wanted to help. Turns out DH called her. I felt weird at first but it's worked out.

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• northtamarack member

  August 2009

  First, have any of your friends had babies?  I have found that unless you go through it wiether it be getting married or having a kid, you don't "know". 

  Second, do you friends normally entertain?  Have backyard BBQ's?  Were any of them laid off in the last year?  Even if they now have a job, there is always the "catch up" from when they were laid off. 

  If they (at least some) have had babies and the do normally entertain, then I'd tread really, really carefully.  I like the pp's suggestion of bringing up the idea of having one last girls night before the baby comes.  Otherwise I would NOT say anything.  I LOVE to entertain and I have thrown a ton of showers.  If I haven't offered to throw a shower, there is a good reason. 

   Could your family arrange a shower for you?  I know that you said that you live far away from them, but you could use skype (borrow someone's if you dont' have it!) or someone could videotape the party and send the video along with gift cards.... there are tons of ways to get around this.  If I were you I'd ask a close family member..... but then again, that is how my family rolls. 

  

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