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Attachment Parenting
star173
member
What do you do when LO won't go to anyone else?
star173
member
DD is 10 months old and she really doesn't like to go to other people. She will if she sees you a lot, but not for too long. We've only needed a sitter a few times, and the last time was in May. She did good with the sitter in her own home, and it's someone she knows. So, that hasn't been a problem.
However, we cant' seem to go to church. We tried about a month ago, and told them if she cried too much to call- they didn't call, and when we picked her up, she was so red and her face was splotchy from crying- the lady was holding her, I know they tried thier best, but she was in a new place with new people. We tried a different church this past Sunday, and they called us after 15 minutes. She wasn't in hysterics, but she hadn't stopped crying, so they wanted to let us know and see what we wanted to do. Dh took her to the "cry room" and got to hear the service.
We've just really been avoiding it, but she's going to have a sitter 2 days a week for a few hours because dh has class. It will be better because she'll be at home, but I mean- what do we do? How do we get her used to church? I don't mind not going every week, but we love our church and want to attend regularly. I don't want to leave her there screaming though. Thoughts? What if we wanted to go to the gym or something? What if the sitter needs to watch her at her house for some reason?
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Re: What do you do when LO won't go to anyone else?
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Breathe! For us that was the height of separation anxiety. It really calmed down after she could walk. At church the only thing that helped was that DD went to the same nursery worker every.single.time. If that worker wasn't there you could forget it. Now that she's a little older we don't have that problem anymore. If you have a cry room I'd use it as necessary, especially if you can still hear the services. A lot of churches don't have that option.
The sitter will probably go better than you think. When you or DH leaves just kiss her bye and have the sitter take her into another room and distract her. Once she gets used to the sitter at your house it won't be a big deal to have her at the sitter's house.
Sure, we could keep her...but she won't stay still or quiet, so I think it's a little rude, you know. She's good for about the first 10 minutes or so, but that's it.
I'll wait it out I guess, and just keep trying. Maybe dh and I will take turns sitting in the nursery with her every week until she gets comfortable there. Thanks everyone.
I just have to say thank you for this. I wish more parents had the courtesy not to keep screaming kids in church or other locations. There is no benefit to disrupting a whole mass or something just to appease the parents/child. And I already have two of my own, so i know what its like. We always either take our kids outside if they are antsy or dont bring them. I dont get the parents that expect everyone else to deal with the noise
Does your kid walk/crawl/ talk yet? My DD is on the MOVE and there is no way I can keep her quiet and have her "behave" in church right now for over an hour. To the OP, I don't have any advice except for keep trying. My DD has been the same way since birth. Some weeks are good some are bad. Not going to church isn't an option for us because my DH is on staff at the church. We are there every time the doors are open and then some so we deal with this several times a week. Good luck.
Yup (well, she babbles), and that's why one of us ends up taking her out for a bit much of the time. We can still hear the service and she can work off some energy until she's ready to go back. The church has a nursery, but not too many people use it -- you hear an occasional noise from the kids who are in church, but in general the kids do pretty well.