I think K finally wants to slap me.

MamaKlein · August 2009

I've (admittedly) been a completely irrational biitch for the last, oh, at least year or so. It's like I can't help myself. I know that I'm being a biitch, but I can't stop the nastiness from coming out of my mouth.

K has been dealing really well, most of the time. But I've noticed a certain cooling of his affectionate nature and I don't know how to fix it. It's like I'm not at all in control of my words or actions anymore and he is the unforunate recipient of my douchiness.

I want to do something nice for him. I could use some ideas.

weelass24 · August 2009

What does he like to do?

MamaKlein · August 2009

Play music, be involved with neighborhood things, volunteerism.

caffinated_tulip · August 2009

Maybe go see a psychologist of some kind? I'm not trying to be a douche, but if you dont feel as though youre in control of your words and actions maybe going to see a therapist could help you be less bitchy, and that'd be really nice for you DH and for you.

two-pink-shoes · August 2009

When I want to be (especially) nice to DH I give him a night off doing the dishes. Also, is there something small he might like? Even stopping at the store to pick up his favorite beer/candy/ice cream/whatever is a great way to show love. As are massages. Or sitting with him through his favorite TV show that you hate. Grand gestures are overrated, esp for this sort of thing. Just being thoughtful helps the most.

MamaKlein · August 2009

caffinated_tulip:

Maybe go see a psychologist of some kind? I'm not trying to be a douche, but if you dont feel as though youre in control of your words and actions maybe going to see a therapist could help you be less bitchy, and that'd be really nice for you DH and for you.

Cannot afford it, pure and simple. And our insurance/jobs don't offer free counseling like my last job did.

Dee1028 · August 2009

BJ?? jokes...

How about a day that is all about him? Make his fave foods or take him out for a nice dinner. Do something that he would like to do. (sporting event? golfing?)

weelass24 · August 2009

Is there a band he really likes or a music festival going on? You could get tickets to that? Maybe a sizable GC to a music store?

Maybe you could find out if there are any large volunteer days in your area and do that together. This might actually be good for you too. Yes, your situation totally sucks, but there are people out there with far greater problems. it might help add a drop of perspective to everything that has been going on for the last year. Not to minimze but just sort of reset things.

caffinated_tulip · August 2009

MamaKlein:
caffinated_tulip:

Maybe go see a psychologist of some kind? I'm not trying to be a douche, but if you dont feel as though youre in control of your words and actions maybe going to see a therapist could help you be less bitchy, and that'd be really nice for you DH and for you.
Cannot afford it, pure and simple. And our insurance/jobs don't offer free counseling like my last job did.

Damnn I know that feeling...

In that case, maybe see if he'd like to organize some volunteer activity? He likes music so maybe put together a benefit concert for some local charity. Get some space at a park, call a few local bands, charge some small admission to people in the community to come in and BAM Volunteering + Music (I did a lot of community service while I was in college, we did stuff like this all the time)

bancbev · August 2009

It's very easy to "hurt the ones we love" when we are frustrated, angry, sad, mad, blah blah. I am a little worried because you say you can't control the way your acting towards him. If that is the case then I think it's time for you to seek professional therapy. If that isn't the case and you have been using him as your verbal punching bag then....I have to say it....stop it.

Then give him tons of bjs.

MamaKlein · August 2009

Ladies, those are some great ideas...

And I know other people have it worse than me. Many, many other people. And I know I should just "stop it". But I'm sure you're all aware that it's not always just that easy, you know?

I try. I really do. I promise. He's a good man and I don't take that for granted. I know I've been a miserable biitch as of late. I already feel bad about it and I don't know how much worse I can feel. Therapy, while helpful, is also expensive. Drugs are a no-go. I just want to do something to make sure he knows how awesome I think he is, that's all.

weelass24 · August 2009

I know, love. When I went though a really bad time, I did a lot of exercise, plus yoga and did a TON of volunteer work. It helped a lot.

((hugs))

preppynewlywed · August 2009

MamaKlein:
Ladies, those are some great ideas...

And I know other people have it worse than me. Many, many other people. And I know I should just "stop it". But I'm sure you're all aware that it's not always just that easy, you know?

I try. I really do. I promise. He's a good man and I don't take that for granted. I know I've been a miserable biitch as of late. I already feel bad about it and I don't know how much worse I can feel. Therapy, while helpful, is also expensive. Drugs are a no-go. I just want to do something to make sure he knows how awesome I think he is, that's all.

I don't know if you belong to a church, but a lot of religious organizations offer free or discounted therapy services. Or, they may even have an infertility support group...I know my Church does.

How about doing something like Habitat together then making him his fave dinner?

bancbev · August 2009

MamaKlein:

Ladies, those are some great ideas...

And I know other people have it worse than me. Many, many other people. And I know I should just "stop it". But I'm sure you're all aware that it's not always just that easy, you know?

I try. I really do. I promise. He's a good man and I don't take that for granted. I know I've been a miserable biitch as of late. I already feel bad about it and I don't know how much worse I can feel. Therapy, while helpful, is also expensive. Drugs are a no-go. I just want to do something to make sure he knows how awesome I think he is, that's all.

If you were me and K was B this is what I would do:

Clean the whole house (because I am a slob and he does most of it)

Cook his favorite dinner

Buy his favorite beer/wine/liquor

Wear something sexy I know he likes

Make the whole day/night about him

After I have him full and tipsy, tell him I know I have been a raving biitch but I want him to know how much I appreciate him and all that he does.

This of course has to be done on a day when you are in a great mood.

MamaKlein · August 2009

Neither of us are religious in any capacity, really. But he'd probbly LOVE to do a Habitat project again. He used to go on trips with them all of the time in college and even after college for awhile. I'll have to look into it.

Want a personalized experience?

I think K finally wants to slap me.

Re: I think K finally wants to slap me.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards