Community› The Bump Local Boards› Northern California Babies
Northern California Babies
New Discussion

Going thru a lot of mixed emotions

dblhappinessdblhappiness
in Northern California Babies

I just need to get this out because I know I can't hold it in. This week is one crazy week for so many reasons. I had no idea how many things had happened in August for us. We got engaged 7 years ago today...and then 3 years ago on the 11th I was sent to the hospital and told we weren't leaving until the babies were born. Now, this Wednesday will mark another chapter--one that is ending. My dad's business will close its doors for good. I'm very emotional about it because I had seen my parents work so incredibly hard at it for 23 years. All of us kids worked in that store at some point. Heck, when my youngest bro was still a baby, my mom had a playpen in the back for him. We all basically lived there. I was there this past weekend to help clear more stuff out. A few customers had come in and were chatting with my dad about the transition, etc. One of them had come over and wanted him and everyone else to know (there are about 6 people now in the store--including myself, my dad and his employee) how much she appreciated all the help and wonderful care he had given to her, her family and her parents. She went on to say that it really meant a lot to her and that they will never forget it. I had to turn around and go into the back because at that moment I was ready to burst into tears. It just meant so much to hear those things. My parents didn't get to hear very often about the great job they did for their customers or the community. I was so proud, happy and sad. I wish my mom was there physically to hear it. I know it meant a lot to my dad to hear it, too. He's not leaving the community as he'll be working still (just not running his own business). I don't know---I just feel incredibly fortunate to have been there to see that. It was a very poignant moment...and even seeing the store with its almost bare walls and shelves. It gives me goose-bumps.

Like I said, I needed to get this out there because there are so many feelings I have about it and everything else about this week. I will 3 year olds on Friday. I don't want to have to celebrate this birthday or any others without my mom, but I will. I can still remember the way she came over to say goodbye to me after I had the boys. It's a moment I'll cherish as with all the memories of her staying with us those first few weeks/months. Sometimes I just feel so incredibly alone in my motherhood journey because she is not here.

Ok need to stop writing...the tears are flowing and the boys are wondering why I'm sad.

ETA: I just wanted to add that I am still very thankful for this board. I am able to come here and get the support I need. I feel like I've been riding more of life's downs than ups...it's just so comforting to have you here when I need it.

Report Reply to Post

Re: Going thru a lot of mixed emotions

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"