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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
leslienpete
member
When did Parenting get so difficult?
leslienpete
member
As if it's not difficult enough as is, but instead there are all of these theories and methods that you get inundated with. Attachment parenting, ferber method, baby led weaning, CIO, elimination communication, HSHHC, etc. Sometimes I think ignorance is bliss and all the information I find on the web and the bump is overwhelming.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: When did Parenting get so difficult?
Parenting got tough when DS tries to roll over while I am trying to clean up his poop.
I ignore a lot of the rest of these parenting methods. When I find something that works for me, I stick with it.
AMEN!
Ignorance is ignorance.
I love having all these theories to learn and decide which methond or combo is best. Being an informed parent is a wonderful gift to your child.
I agree!!! Good post! I admit I used to get all worked up over what I should/shouldn't be doing (and I still do sometimes), but I'm so much of a better parent when I do what I think is right for me, my husband, and our baby.
Like hymen checks?
I disagree. Chances are whatever method is popular at the moment has already been in practice by some mom out there before a book was written and girls started talkin about it on message boards.
Its one thing to trust your pedi and seek advice/suggestions for experts like Ferber or Dr. Sears but its another to do so to the point you start quesitoning your own instincts.
This happened to me last night. I didn't trust my instincts. H was crying and I thought he was just tired but the scream was different. I didn't want to pick him up bc I read that I shouldn't bc I need to let him fall asleep on his own. Well he continued to cry even while sushed. Dh came upstairs picked him up and I was like we are not suppose to do that. H let out this burp that shook the house, smiled, went back in his crib and fell asleep.
My motherly instincts were to pick him up, my reading too much instincts were let him there and cry.
I am over reading and going forward I am doing what I want and not what some book tells me.
Being informed is one thing, stressing over not following some guidelines and having to do every little thing based on research is another. Research is for the masses, it does not take into account individual differences, there are always people in the study who didn't have the same outcome as the majority.
I agree with this to a point.
I don't think ANY book or "expert" should ever have more weight in your parenting decisions than your own instincts.
But at the same time, not all instincts are good ones. Some of us may be victims of abuse, in which case we may find that our natural reaction to tough situations with our kids is to scream or rage or worse. So in instances like that, no our instincts are not always right.
For me, learning as much as I can about different philosophies and trying my best to stay up to date on any new child development info - is just part of how I try my best to be the best parent I can.
I was not raised in an AP household. My dad was OLD school, old school. I know I don't want to parent the same way that I was parented, so I am learning what I can - as well as finding the best fit for my family.
I agree! I say who cares what other people are doing and why they're doing it. I trust my instincts when it comes to my son and refer to friends, family and books when I feel like I need help. I could care less what others do in their home with their kids, we do what works for us!
The problem is when you feel you "have to do the method this way to a tee" or you just messed it all up. It trumps your parenting instincts and makes for a lot more stress than is necessary. All because someone wanted to sell some books.
If you do this and can't think for yourself based on the information gathered parenting is the least of your worries.
Oh stop your nonsense. In which book was your hymen nonsense mentioned? We all make decisions based on different experiences.
I want to be raised the same way my mom & dad raised me. I was raised in love and respect by rockin' parents. Nothing supernanny could have done would have turned out a more awesome childhood experience.
I get my parenting from my parents who I adore. I read some books, found most of them patronizing and decided to go with common sense and awesome advice from my mom.
Come on. You think anyone will ever forget that? Ever?
It was horrifying.
I agree with you 100%. Everything was taken the wrong way and disturbs me to this day the things I was accused of. Disgusting. Abusers deserve to die.
It does now take away from any parenting advice she gives, doesnt' it?
That and the posting things as her own and then lying weirdly about it.
I agree with you here as well.
You can't say that if you stress about your parenting style based on a book that you don't have bigger issues than parenting? Seems we are saying the same thing in different ways. I read many books (due to my school work and my pending parenthood at the time) and found something useful in each of them, even if it was knowing that that was not the way I thought things should be done.
I also know my parents made mistakes, though wonderful parents. I hope I can learn from those mistakes and evolve.
So if I have a different opinion my stupid mistakes get brought up?
Cool beans.
Sadly I agree with many on here when it comes to parenting styles and advice.
Ugh I do not want this post to be about me. This was a great post with the potential for great debate! Don't kill it...
Sure they did. You think parenting books were invented in the 1990s?