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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Honest answers - do I need "help"?
My sister was talking to me today and we brought up going to the library. She was talking about how her daughter loves playing with the toys there and how she gets 12 books per kid, yadda, yadda, yadda. Immediately I start getting panicky thinking about my boys playing with toys in a public place and about kids with snot on their hands touching the books.
She told me I have an unhealthy fear of germs and chemicals and I need to get "help". I have known for a while that I am a little overly paranoid, but I feel like I am doing what's best for my kids.
I don't feel like it hurts them at all. They still go places and play with other kids. I just get anxiety when I don't know what they are touching.
My sister also told me that she thinks I have the same problem with my food - that I am overly paranoid about GMO foods and not putting toxins/chemicals into my body. There is a new eating disorder called orthorexia (I'm an ex-bulimic) and she thinks I have it.
Anyhoo, what do you think? DH thinks I'm OCD, but still sane. Sis obviously thinks I'm losing it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Honest answers - do I need "help"?
I think the library thing is a bit much - I mean, I have no issues with library books or public places in general and I'm pretty OCD about my house being clean (but then I don't make everyone take off their shoes when they come in my house).
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"Help" maybe not, but getting panicky probably isn't normal.
You do not have OCD. I think we all worry about germs you may just worry a little more then most, but not in a OCD kind of way.?
From WebMD
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a type of?anxiety?disorder, is a potentially disabling illness that traps people in endless cycles of repetitive thoughts and behaviors. People with OCD are plagued by recurring and distressing thoughts, fears, or images (obsessions) that they cannot control. The anxiety (nervousness) produced by these thoughts leads to an urgent need to perform certain rituals or routines (compulsions). The compulsive rituals are performed in an attempt to prevent the obsessive thoughts or make them go away.Although the ritual may make the anxiety go away temporarily, the person must perform the ritual again when the obsessive thoughts return. This OCD cycle can progress to the point of taking up hours of the person's day and significantly interfering with normal activities. People with OCD may be aware that their obsessions and compulsions are senseless or unrealistic, but they cannot stop themselves.?
It depends on how severely it affects your day to day life.
If it is making you stop doing things that are typically normal, fun things to do with your family - I would think it's a problem.
Honestly, I think being oversterile is worse than too many germs. There IS such a thing as "too clean", if you ask me. Common, everyday germs and buggies are good for our kids - it's how our immune systems develop. Naturally, if there's a flu outbreak in your area, or something worse, you limit how much your kids are around the possible germs, but normal everyday stuff? not a big deal to me.
If your loved ones think that you have an OCD problem, then I would agree w/ them. I don't know you, so I can't really give you an answer. I wish you well though!!
i am being honest, not snarky: Yes you do. I posted about this the other day... i am not sure why people with ocd do *not* want to get help. If you can live a relatively anxiety-free life, and not pass this anxiety on to your children, why not get help now? I said in the earlier post it must be exhausting being riddled with constant worry
don't we all have our own anxieties/issues?
I am not a germophobe AND my kid is at daycare (so gets sick regularly) but i don't let her go near the toys in the pedi's office for eg.
The only thing is eventually they will be touching everything and you can't really stop it. so they probably will pick up germs and get sick unfortunately once they start doing that.
i don't think you are losing at all. it might be a little extreme to some but doing what you think is best and protecting your kids in the way you want to is your choice and not crazy.
you should honestly watch the show "obsessed" on monday nights on A & E. people with severe OCD do behavior modification and many of them are helped drastically. though i think meds can be an important component in treatment too. tra la la
LOL
That's my thing though. I'm equally as paranoid about chemicals. I don't use anything chemical in my house - we only clean with vinegar and baking soda. So, because I know these products don't kill as many viruses as bleach, I feel like I have to be particular about what I bring into my home.
Dirt doesn't bother me as much as bacteria and chemicals.
No TV here
I always have full blown panic attacks upon seeing you, Cubs. lol
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I don't know you from Adam but between the fact that you were once bulimic and your self-described paranoia about germs it sounds like you have a bit of a control issue. As in you feel more comfortable when in situations where you feel you have control.
I get this, I'm OCD about certain things but living with a total slob and a kid who can't pick up after himself I've realized that I've got to learn to let some things go. Kids are going to touch dirty things, it's inevitable. I think for your sanity, you need to try to relax a bit.
Brendan 06.30.08
c/p 02.26.10
My friend is the same way as you with germs. Her hands are sooooo dry all winter b/c she constantly washes them. When she brings her kids home from daycare, they get a bath right away (before she even starts dinner).
A few weeks ago we were at a truck show which was held at the fairgrounds near us. We had a tornado warning while we were there. Since the fair was not going on, none of the buildings were open. There I was panicking b/c I didn't know where the heck we could go. Well, they did open the one building and we went in there. I was worried about the storm and my friend was worried about all of the germs in there! She could have care less about the storm!
Anyway, I don't think you need "help" unless it interferes with your daily activites.
I don't know what GMO foods are...so I have no advice on that one!
Just from having read posts of yours for a few months now, I think you could definitely benefit from psychiatric help and (maybe) medication.
Do you have diagnosable OCD? I don't know, I'm not a doctor. However, your description of becoming "panicky" at the mere thought of your children playing at the library is certainly not normal and sounds very much like an OCD symptom. Your thoughts about germs, etc. are completely irrational.
If it actually causes you anxiety, I think it is a true problem. Also, if you find yourself creating a mental roadmap of events (as in "Oh, that sounds fun... but the boys might touch something") such that you make/change/decline plans, I think that is also a true problem.
Supermodel good looks do have that effect on people.
Have you always been like this or is it since having DS? OCD can be a symptom of PPD. Thats the only reason I ask.
If you honestly get panicky over germs like that you might want to see someone. It might not be a problem now but it might be one later.
I get like that as well but not because of germs. I just get skeeved out really easily. Makes me sick to my stomach to think of kids sharing slobbery things.
I've been like this since I was pregnant with Gabe.
When it affects your quality of life and ability to control your thoughts and fears, yes, it is a problem. Germs are everywhere, and they are absolutely necessary to help build up your child's immune system. I'm not saying they should lick bathroom floors, but playing with toys in a public space is probably a good thing. They may get sick, but it will only help them in the long run. At least this is what I've heard along the way. Germs are just a part of everyday life and something we all must embrace. Overprotecting your children from germs won't do anything because inevitably they will get sick one day.
I hope that didn't come across as harsh in any way. I certainly didn't mean it to.
My Etsy Store PIGGY'S PLACE
Ok, I didn't read any of the responses to this but yes I do think that is a bit "ocd" to worry about library books and having anxiety about what they are touching. I actually used to be the same way and am "trying" not to worry so much. I NEVER wanted to stay in hotels and when our family went on a trip one year I actually brought a can of lysol...lol.
Well, I'm a teacher now so I can't be that way at all. After teaching and getting really sick my first year (just like kids do). I know that you really build up your immunity by exposure to some of these germs (as gross as it is). I am rarely EVER sick and DD is rarely ever sick as well. I still think it's gross... I freak about the shoes in the house thing too. I don't want my DD to grow up all worried about these things as well. Though I'm sure she'll pick up some of it from me... I'm sure. : ( My DH makes fun of me at times but I'm still pretty "sane" too. : ) I don't necessarily think you need help but maybe just try to not worry so much? Your kiddos will be okay and you are doing a great job with them.
Don't get me started on hotels. It's my nightmare. We just had to stay in one a few months ago. I bring my own sheets and wipe everything down. My kids aren't allowed to touch anything or play on the floor - it's exhausting.
Talk about a panic attack - we were in the hotel and Gabe handed me a toenail clipping. I almost lost it.
How do I say this without coming across as mean? I really think you need some help, and I'm not saying that in a snarky way at all. I understand hotel rooms and the germ factor, but bringing your own sheets and wiping everything down seems a bit extreme to me. I thought I was being extreme just by not using the comforter and walking around in slippers or socks and never with my bare feet.
May I ask you a personal question? When did all of this begin? Have you always had issues with germs? Did your parents have issues with germs?
My Etsy Store PIGGY'S PLACE
It started when I was pregnant with Gabe. Originally I think it was just avoiding chemicals because I was pregnant. Then I started researching what the chemicals can do to you and I got freaked out. Once I had Gabe the germ thing started worrying me more. It kind of snowballed from there.
My mom is a neat-freak. I think that's where I get it from.
Ahh, that makes sense. I can understand the no-chemical thing (even though I'm guilty of using many chemicals in my home), but it looks like it snowballed for you at some point and kind of branched out into all aspects of your life. How does your husband deal with it all? Is he into extreme cleanliness as well?
My Etsy Store PIGGY'S PLACE
He likes the no-chemicals thing, but he thinks the germ problem is ridiculous.