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S/O of which gender is preferred I bring you!
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Re: S/O of which gender is preferred I bring you!
Nooooo!
yikes. ?
Don't be judgy ladies. We all have a secret preference. These people have just voiced it.?
?
No judging, just shock.
Everyone's perception is their own reality. I'm sure if I was lucky enough to birth 4 or 5 kids and never got one of the opposite gender and I desperately wanted it, I'd probably be disappointed to.
However, my perception/reality is one based in IF, needles, and hooha cams -- while I had a preference, I also just wanted a family. I truly would have been thrilled either way. But maybe it's because I come from a place of pure want for a child, any child.
Ohhhh! ::::Hugs on tight to B::::: (and a tiny giggle at "hooha cams" although totally uncomfortable, that is a great term!)
I love that too, you come from a place of pure want for a child...any child. I heart you.
They do have a warped perception. I find it super interesting some of them are getting counseling for this issue...I also think some of the moms are purchasing different gender clothes for their kids...and making their boys sleep in pink rooms...?
I think this right here is the reason I give this level of 'disappointment' the hairy eyeball (yes, I'm being judgey and all that. sorry, I'm having a judgey sort of day). It's like...it hasn't occurred to people yet that kids can overcome the social conditioning around them--that they can have a boy who likes glitter and a girl who prefers frogs to princesses.
(and because so much of the 'disappointment' revolves around the roles of this child, that makes me nervous--it feels to me [again, I'm being judgemental and I probably oughtn't] like a child of the 'right' gender who didn't fulfil the sterotypical gender roles would also be a disappointment. And as someone who is hostile toward a lot of gender roles in the first place, that makes me very very uneasy.)
I was being sarcastic when I made the judgy comment... ;D
The first time I read this forum I was like..."What the french? Toast!" ?I couldn't even read more than a couple posts I was so freaked out by it! ?
I'll judge. Those girls should be grateful they can conceive biological children and should get the heck over their self-created issues of SEX disappointment.
That's my other pet peeve about that site. Apparently they've all ignored the fact that sex and gender are two different things and really just hope their kid is born with mommy's preference on what plumbing is better.
I can't get over the lady who refers to her baby boy on the ultrasound as "it."
There is also the one who has two boys and wanted two girls. "Needless to say, I'm not happy with my family."
I haven't actually perused the posts in a lonnng time, but I saw one post where the lady had encountered a negative reaction to gender disappointment at Wal-mart...I'm guessing what the post was about.
Um...OF COURSE normal people don't understand this!
?
I can understand it. I don't agree with it, but I can certainly understand it.
It is similar to postpartum depression, really. You know you should be glowing and thrilled to just have that wonderful baby in your arms, but you simply are not. People are unsympathetic and judgemental, so you don't feel like you can talk to anyone about your feelings because you know they are wrong, but you just can't help it.
Another similarity is those people that complain about morning sickness and those who have suffered a loss or IF tell them to stop whining, they should be so damn grateful just to be pregnant. Really?
So what if someone wants a boy and get a girl and is sad about it? As long as she is loving and caring for the child she has, she should be able to express her sadness. It really is a loss, just like any other. It's just an easy one to judge.
I didn't read the Wal-Mart post, but...I might confide in my friends and family about an issue like this..not the folks in the aisle at the store ?and then expect them to understand.
When you delve into some of the posts...It goes beyond wanting a boy and getting a girl. It's..." I cannot look at my child and move beyond my grief."
At what point does that hinder being loving and caring for the child?
Maybe this is a form of PPD...but to me--PPD and morning sickness are things a person has little control over. ?This appears ?to be an?over-exaggeration?of want and that is where my sympathies end. ?The minute I see good research that shows me gender disappointment is a chemical imbalance that women can't control...I'll up my feelings.?
That one was actually a bit understandable...a woman watched in horror as a random stranger told *another* woman "Two REAL boys? I don't envy YOU!"
Which is something I'd smackabitch for.
Lol GB. Sounds like I should have read the posts! ?
Well, it was the only post I read where I didnt' give dirty looks, through my magic computer screen that allows me to give judgey looks from afar, at the person posting. :-P
Ok, i'm not even gonna go look at the forum! LOL I can tell it would upset me.
It's hard for people to be grateful when they haven't walked in tough shoes. A friend of mine gave birth to a boy after wanting another girl (only wanted girls) and now she eats her words because she can't believe how selfish she was .... and how much fun her son is!
I finally went back and read some of the posts last night...
"I'm 7 months pregnant and I got my ultrasound to find out the sex...I was just sure I was going to have a girl b/c all my friends said I was healthy and glowing."
I'm not exactly sure how a healthy and glowing mom come out to a baby girl..if someone wants to explain the science behind that one, I'm into learning about it.
Honestly, what I saw--was a lot of "oops babies" there..and I wonder how much that?is contributing to this situation.??
EPIC FAIL!!!